Our Personal Rhythms

Amy and I have worked hard to find rhythms that work well for us. Here is a summary of our philosophy.

• We assume we’ll have long stretches of grueling ministry. When a long stretch is coming, I’ll let her know. Many of these stretches are planned. Some are not.
• We always plan a non-negotiable break after an extended season of tough ministry. It is amazing what we can endure when we know we have a break coming.
• For us, we try to take breaks out-of-town. When we are in-town, I’m tempted to drop by the office or check emails. Or someone from the staff might need me for just an hour (which turns into three). When we are out of town, we are mostly unavailable.
• We plan at least one extended trip (of two weeks or more) every year. Since my ministry RPMs stay pegged in the red when I’m on, I try to take time for deep rest. It takes me about four or five days away to settle down. Once I start to relax, my whole mood changes. I need the first week’s break to truly enjoy the second week.
• We try hard to guard our day-off. If we don’t protect it, something will come along and steal it. (There are times when I surrender my day off, but those times are rare.)
• We home educate our kids. This is one of the greatest benefits to our family. When I’m off on Friday, the kids are home. When I’m working, they do many of their activities including their homework leaving most evenings for family. When we want to travel, we can even if (or especially if) other kids are in school.
• When I’m writing a book, I write for a couple of hours before work and late into the evening after the kids are in bed. I write a half day on my days off. I always plan a getaway for the family on the back side of a writing project.
• I have learned that taking two weekends off in a row from preaching is huge. Our church needs my leadership more than they need my preaching. I redirect time normally spent on sermon preparation to use for leadership development.
• When I don’t spend time with God, it doesn’t matter what I do or don’t do, I’ll be flirting with burnout in no time at all.

Are any of these new thoughts for you? What do you do that might help me or others?

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Ministry Within the Seasons

Because a pastor’s schedule, role, and duties differ from other professions, the rhythms of life should differ as well.

Your rhythms will vary based on several things including:

• The stage of development of your ministry. For example, starting a ministry or transitioning a ministry might take more effort than other seasons.
• The age of your kids.
• The focus of your ministry.

I’d suggest that you embrace the season that you are in. (Don’t act like it is summer if it is winter).

Here are a few of the ways I’ve embraced the different seasons.

• In the early years of the church, I worked almost non-stop. Some might think I’m exaggerating, but my wife would tell you I’m not. (She understood and embraced that season as best she could with the promise of a new season coming.)
• Once the church was off-the-ground, I intentionally slowed the pace and arranged my schedule to spend much more time at home with our growing family.
• Instead of multiple short breaks from ministry/church, I’m now taking fewer, but longer and more restful breaks.
• During the first ten years of the church, I didn’t write books or speak at conferences. My sole effort was on building the church.
• In this season, I invest way more time in developing leaders than in the past.
• With six children at home, I limit my travel schedule to about one night out a month.
• Once the kids are older, I look forward to much more international travel.

Are you doing anything that is inconsistent with your season of life and ministry? Please share any seasonal rhythms that work well for you.

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Your Life is Different—Embrace It

Pastors, your life is different.

I used to fight for the normal life. One of my mentors told me that as long as I strive for normal, I’ll fail. He encouraged me to embrace the differences of ministry and learn to flourish within those differences. (Living the balanced life will likely be impossible.)

Pastor, here are just a few ways your life is different:

• You prepare new messages every week for the same crowd. (I can’t think of any other profession who does this without the help of curriculum or speech writers.)
• You do what many managers or business owners do. (The short list includes: maintaining the building, building new facilities, hiring, training and firing staff, overseeing the budget, raising money, recruiting and leading volunteers, etc.)
• You shepherd the flock. You might counsel someone who is suicidal, meet with a couple who is about to divorce, do a funeral and a wedding before your preach on the weekend.
• You are rarely “off duty.” Like the doctor who might be on call one weekend a month, you are almost always “on call.”
• Though your hours are flexible, they are generally long and unusual. You work many nights, weekends and most holidays.
• You have the pressure of life in the “fish bowl.”
• Your role creates many social obligations.
• No matter how much you do, your ministry is never “finished.”

Some resent the differences. Some embrace them. I choose to embrace the differences and strive to follow Christ as my model instead of the culture’s cry for balanced living.

We’ll talk more the next two days about how to thrive in the differences of ministry life.

Which of these differences affect you? What differences have I not mentioned that are important to you?

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The Myth of the “Balanced Life”

One of the most common topics people ask me about is how I balance my life, family, and ministry.

My response is simple, “I don’t live a balanced life.”

In my opinion, the balanced life is unachievable and unbiblical.

Jesus didn’t call us to live a balanced life. He called us to follow Him.

While following Jesus, our life will often be out-of-balance. He may lead us on long stretches of ministry followed by a substantial season of rest. Ministry will rarely be predictable.

Some pastors are pursuing the illusive goal of the balanced life only to fail again and again.

• Their marriages struggle.
• Their ministries limp along.
• They are spiritually exhausted.

This week, instead of talking about living balanced, we’ll look at how to be imbalanced in a way that honors God. Along the journey, I’ll share certain ministry rhythms that help sustain me. (I hope you’ll share some of yours.)

How have you been failing at living the “balanced life?”

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Cost vs. Excellence Curve

In the church, I know many leaders who struggle with decisions to invest resources. This is especially true with technology investments. There are so many opinions from consultants, vendors, staff, volunteers, and the “peer pressure” of wanting to follow what other churches do.

I wish there was a one-size-fits-all solution for church technology, but there is not. There are, however, a couple of principles that might be helpful to those of you making investments that I’d like to share this week.

Principle One: Cost vs. Excellence Curve

So many churches and businesses (including LifeChurch.tv) have “excellence” as a core value. This is a great thing, because the Church for decades had grown lazy at excellence and we had old run-down, unclean buildings and programming and materials that were riddled with mistakes and errors. Many people had no desire to visit a church let alone leave their kids in those environments.

While there are still many examples where there is not excellence in the American Church, I see a new problem emerging in some places: Too much excellence. You might ask how can you be too excellent? This graph will illustrate my point.

In my experience, I have found that for the most part the excellence level rises very quickly with an investment of time/money and then flattens out. As you move along that curve it becomes increasingly more expensive to increase excellence. In fact, it might even be ten times as expensive or take ten times the amount of time to get just a small incremental gain in excellence.

The other problem is that there is seemingly no end to the excellence curve. Something can always be more excellent. There are more and more leaders who are chasing after the “most excellent” solution and in some cases at all costs.

As a leader, you need to decide where you want your organization to be on that curve. There is a right answer, but it will be different for different organizations. The important thing is that you are intentional, because if you are not, so much time and money can be wasted.

Where have you seen excellence go too far…either in your organization, or another organization?

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Time Margin

Many people say, “I don’t have time for ______________.”

This statement isn’t true. The truth is, we have time for what we choose to have time for.

Too many people today allow the expectations of society to consume most of our time margin.

When God sends us an opportunity to make a difference, we often think we don’t have time.

This is a huge problem for churches. In my opinion, most churches do WAY TOO MUCH! We get busy managing ministries of the past and miss divine opportunities in the present.

The way we create margin in our schedules is simply by doing less.

What do you need to stop doing to create margin for God to use?

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The Challenges of the Second Decade

Yesterday I blogged about how ministry is better in the second decade. Today I’ll reveal some of the challenges I’m facing:

• Mistakes Cost More. In the first decade, when we made a mistake, it didn’t affect as many people, didn’t cost as much money, and didn’t take as much time to correct. Now mistakes are more costly.
• Value Erosion. In the early days, I trained all the staff. Years later, those I trained discipled the newer staff members. Now staff members I barely know are training ministry rookies. With each new generation, it takes more and more work to guard the values of the church.
• Personal Demands. A lot of people want a lot of things and time. Being wise and selective about “opportunities” is crucial for ongoing effectiveness and health.
• Eliminating Ministry Baggage. Just like many families accumulate too much “junk,” churches can accumulate too many ministries. Pruning ineffective ministries and saying “no” are increasingly important in the second decade.
• Diminishing Returns. Some things that used to work don’t work as well. It’s tempting to think, “We just need to do those old things better.” Instead we’re trying to say, “Maybe we need to attempt new things.”
• Recognizing Weaknesses. Many leaders think they’re successful because of “the way they are.” The truth is that many are successful “in spite of the way they are.” I’m recognizing my many weaknesses. I’m learning to grow through significant points of vulnerability.

What are some of the challenges you’re facing in this season? Can you relate to any I’ve raised?

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