Results Verses Reality

To be increasingly effective as a person and leader, we must grow in our self-perception. Without knowing it, many people believe things about themselves that are simply not true.

One of my mentors says, “People are polite. Don’t believe everything good they say about you.”

Instead of simply listening to what people say (or what you believe), look at the outcomes of your efforts.

Here are a few examples:

• If people tell you that you are a great leader; but you have extremely high turnover in your staff, maybe you’re not as great as you believe you are.
• If you believe you are a great teacher, but few people sign up for your class; maybe your best gift isn’t really teaching.
• If you think you are funny, but other people simply don’t get your humor; you should probably keep your day job.

In the early years, I believed that I was effective in communicating God’s principles of generosity. Even though I thought I was effective, our church didn’t seem to grow much, if any, in generosity. People would even say, “That was a good sermon on generosity.” But if we aren’t getting the desired results, it doesn’t matter what people say or what we believe.

Once I realized that I wasn’t as effective as I thought, I opened my heart to hear clearly from God. He showed me I wasn’t as generous as I believed I was. God changed me before He changed our church.

You may believe something to be true, but if you don’t see results, what you believe may not be true.

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The Timing of Feedback

Not only do you want to ask the right people the right questions, but you’ll also want to do it at the right time.

I see three different times when feedback is valuable:

1)    Before the event

Most leaders I know look for feedback on the back end. I crave it on the front end. Each week before I preach a sermon, I have no fewer than a dozen different people work through my notes with me. I always ask, “What one thing was the most helpful? What one thing would you cut? What is one other suggestion you have?” Feedback on the front end helps me make changes when changes are easiest.

2)    Immediate feedback

Receiving immediate feedback is valuable (especially if you are doing an event or talk more than once). People can be very helpful when an event is fresh on their minds. I always try to write down what they say so I can review their thoughts later.

3)    Much later feedback

Occasionally, immediate feedback isn’t wise. You may be too vulnerable after a talk or event. The highs seems too high or the lows seem too low. You (or others) might be too caught up in the moment to be objective.

Once everyone sleeps on it, has a chance to talk to some other people, and has some time to process, you might learn more from post-event evaluations. We’re often much more objective once the immediate emotion dies down.

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The Right People

Asking the right questions is helpful to get valuable feedback. It’s also important to direct the right questions to the right people.

When it comes to feedback, not all people are equal.

Two groups that shouldn’t always be trusted include:

• Your greatest critics.
• Your greatest fans.

These groups shouldn’t be ignored. You can occasionally learn a lot from your critics or your fans. But, generally speaking, your critics will be harder on you without understanding your full context and your fans will overlook ways to help you improve.

If you are a pastor or leader, you might be more challenged than you realize to find the right people. When I ask for feedback from my staff (or even church members), they might be slightly intimidated and hesitate to tell me the truth.

Developing a trusted group that can be objective is invaluable.

I’ve searched for constructive feedback from hundreds of people over the years, and have found a group of individuals who understand the importance of truthful and helpful feedback.

These people weren’t necessarily born with this gift. We have actually developed a relationship and trust that draws out feedback. They see it as a part of their ministry and I see it as a helpful gift.

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The Right Questions

In the church world, you will almost always get feedback. But not all feedback is equal. Finding the right feedback is vitally important.

A key to finding the right feedback is asking the right questions.

Here are a few questions that won’t be very effective:

• What did you think of the sermon? (A general question will likely draw a general response.)
• I’m not sure if that song was any good. What did you think? (A leading question will likely draw a less truthful response.)
• Was that program beneficial to you? (People are generally polite. You’re question isn’t likely to solicit helpful feedback.)

Here are some more helpful questions:

• Of all the things we did, what one thing should we change next time? (This specific question is likely to draw a specific result.)
• What one thing was the most helpful to you? What one thing was the least helpful? (By giving a person the opportunity to tell you what they liked first, they might be more likely to offer constructive suggestions next.)
• I really need your help to make a decision. We need to cut 10 minutes off this talk. What part of the content was least helpful to you? (This direct question will certainly get a direct response.)
• What is the one thing you’ll take away from this event? (Limiting the feedback to the one big thing should be valuable.)

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The Power of Feedback

One of the greatest tools for a leader or speaker is truthful feedback. Unfortunately, in our church cultures, we often develop feedback-averse environments.

People might find themselves in one of two wrong extremes:

1)    We believe that a leader (or preacher) should have heard from God and not care at all about feedback. This attitude robs us of valuable input from objective people.

2)    We rely only on what other people say and think. While people’s feedback can help us grow, we shouldn’t always be swayed by their opinions. A good leader will know when he or she should lead strong no matter what people are saying.

This week I’ll talk about developing a culture of feedback.

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The Fresh Work of God

Sometimes in ministry, I feel I’m leading on last year’s ideas. Instead of clearly sensing direction from God, I tend to do what last worked.

Those dry times are generally a direct result of my own spiritual negligence. Instead of seeking God passionately, I am occasionally lulled into a business-as-usual approach to prayer and study of God’s word.

Instead of expecting a fresh work of God in my life, I seem strangely content with doing ministry from memory rather than ministry from fresh revelation from God.

A few months ago, I determined that experiencing the presence and direction from God would be my top priority daily. I stepped up my time in prayer, time in God’s word, and started recording what I believed God was showing me.

This week I’ll talk about some of the fresh works I’m excited about as a spiritual leader.

How about you? Are you living on last year’s work or a fresh work of God in your life?

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What I Didn’t Learn in Seminary

I’m writing from my perspective. Obviously many of you had much different experiences. Here’s a short list of what I didn’t learn in seminary.

• Believe it or not, I never had a class on how to do a wedding or funeral.
• We never looked at how to manage a budget, lead a board meeting, recruit volunteers, raise money, hire and fire staff, or design church facilities.
• I only took one class on preaching. In my opinion, we should have been required to take at least three if we were hoping to be a senior pastor.
• We didn’t study any thoughts on kids’ ministry, student ministry, missions, or small groups.
• Although my time in seminary predated the need, I think all schools today should teach pastors how to leverage technology in the church.

For those of you that attended Bible School or Seminary, what skills were overlooked in your preparation?

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What I Learned In Seminary

My opinions about seminary are mixed. Unquestionably, the schools I attended shaped my views. To give context, I studied one year at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary and three at Philips Theological Seminary.

(My United Methodist district superintendent approved SWBT then after a year said he made a mistake. I chose Philips since it was the only UMC approved school within driving distance.)

Although I’m don’t believe all pastors must obtain a seminary degree, I did acquire some knowledge and skills that were valuable. Here are a few of the things I’m thankful for:

• Seminary taught me to read fast and absorb a lot of information. (Many classes required us to read a book a week.) Speed-reading has made a huge difference in my life and ministry.
• Hebrew was helpful to me. (What I know about Greek I picked up on my own.)
• Seminary taught me to be a better writer. At Phillips, we rarely took tests. Most classes required a lot of writing. This skill has helped me minister to people in ways I couldn’t otherwise.
• The history courses were helpful. I was especially inspired by Moody, Finney, Wesley, and Whitfield. I also was moved by studying Medieval Christianity. Knowing how God used people in the past helps give me a broader perspective of what He could do today.
• I learned why I believed what I believed. At Philips, many professors had a very liberal theology and looked down on conservatives. They tested my faith often and helped me to become more grounded than I would have been otherwise.
• I made some very good friends in school.

How about you?

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