I’m excited to introduce you to one of my favorite bloggers, Jon Acuff. His blog, “Stuff Christians Like“ has reached over 1.1 million people from 97% of the countries in the world. Jon recently write a hilarious book called Stuff Christians Like.
We’ll be giving away 5 copies of his book! Simply comment on this post and we’ll do a random drawing for the winners. If you don’t win a copy, buy it!
Here are some thoughts from Jon:
Stuff Christians Like – Lost Chapter: Things Pastors Should Never Say
Have you ever ruined someone’s surprise party? I have. It’s less fun than you might imagine.
Someone sent me an email. They didn’t put that it was a surprise party until the very bottom of the email. I didn’t read the whole thing, so I immediately asked the person who the surprise was for about the party. Surprise ruined.
It wouldn’t have been that big of a deal except that when we got there late and walked through the door, the girl yelled at seeing me walk through the door, “That’s the guy who ruined the surprise.” That felt good.
But she was right, I had said something I should not have said. I said the sentence, “What’s the deal with this party?” to someone who was not in on the surprise. And to tell you the truth, I’m unfortunately not a stranger to saying the wrong thing. I do it often and colorfully at times.
So do pastors though. I’ve been thinking about that lately. Sometimes they say some crazy things and I’m not sure seminaries are doing enough. Unless they have a class titled, “Crazy things you should never say from the pulpit,” I’m not sure pastors are being helped the way they should be. It’s almost as if someone should create a list of things pastors should never say…
A list of things pastors should never say.
1. “Good to see you this Christmas. See you next Easter.”
Shame is perhaps one of the worst motivators ever. Don’t ever say this, even if it is true. Sure, there might be some people that are coming for Christmas and won’t be back until the next religious holiday but I promise, making fun of them isn’t going to get them to come back.
2. “We never usually talk about money, but today …”
If I had a dollar for every time I heard this, I’d be able to tithe about 14 dollars. I get the nerves that must come from preaching about money, especially considering there are probably some first time visitors in the crowd. But when you start a sermon this way, it feels like you’re apologizing for doing something bad. And you’re not. Churches cost money. The electricity, the staff, the programming, that stuff costs money. It’s OK to ask for people to honor their commitment to tithing.
3. “I want to talk a little today about why I own a diamond encrusted Rolls Royce”
If you want people to be mad at you, write about politics, homeschooling or the prosperity ministry. If I was starting a new blog and wanted lots of traffic, I would probably name it “HomePolitoCash.blogspot.com.” But that’s not my goal today. My hope though is that your pastor will never have to do the “justification sermon,” regardless of the topic (Money, sleeping around, drugs etc.). Pastors, avoid this by having a support network in your life that will kick your butt long before you get here. Please.
4. Any form of rap.
Pastors should never, ever, ever, never, ever, ever, really never rap.
5. “Stay very still. They have bad eyesight, but they do hunt based on movement.”
Is there an apex predator in the room? Level with me. Nod with your head toward the nearest exits and then just scream “run!” I just want a fighting chance. That’s all I ask.
Those are my top five things I hope I never have to hear a pastor say.
Have you ever heard anything you wished your pastor didn’t say?
Visit 
