The Small Things Ignored
I’ve written about four things that people (or companies) did for us on a recent trip to Florida that made a difference to me. Today I’ll write about a small thing ignored that could have made a difference.
For my daughter’s sixteenth birthday, we ate (for the first time) at a certain restaurant chain.
The waiter botched our order (which is an understandable mistake with eight people to serve). The food came out in three shifts over five minutes apart. Three orders were wrong including mine. Instead of a salad, I received a cheeseburger. Since the food took so long to arrive, I ate the burger instead of waiting for a salad.
When the bill arrived, not only did they not remove any charges for the wrong food, but they overcharged us for two things we didn’t order. When I asked the waiter if he’d remove the overcharged portions, he seemed very put out.
I told him not to worry about it and just decided it would be my first AND last visit.
Admittedly, I’m being a little petty. But in a world of great service, bad service stands out like a sore thumb.
It makes me wonder how often guests might not return to our churches because we didn’t welcome them, help them find a seat, or help them feel comfortable dropping their kids off to complete strangers.
Thoughts?
Visit 
What about guests that arrive at church and sit in someone’s seat? I’ve seen the old faithful ask a new person to move from “their” seat yet not introduce themselves or welcome them in any way. Great question to ask ourselves.
Just came back from CatalystOneDay. Wednesday night after a long drive we went out to eat. 2 hours later we left that restaurant. And it wasn’t because we sat around and talked. The day of the conference we went off campus for lunch and we were seated at 12:15. our food came at 1:15. That left us 10 minutes to scarf down our food to make it back in time. We didn’t. Like you both had tickets wrong (mine was charged for what i did not order). No visit from the manager at either location. Does make me think about what type of impression we leave to people who come in to visit and know no one.
I think we probably all have places we will not eat because of things like this. I know a story of a man in the church I pastor who went into a church 20 years ago and it was full and no one who side or move so he and his wife would sit. He asked an usher and the usher responded you got to get here early if you want a seat. They left and vowed to never return - it has been 20 years and he told me that has never been back and will not. I think it says a lot for customer service in a church.
Craig, I think I get what you are trying to say, but I can’t escape the feeling that the more we think in terms of ourselves service providers the more harm we do the mission of God.
please don’t take this as an attack… i just think that posture isn’t helpful to building the kingdom, not out of bad motives, I get your motives and assume they are good.
I’m not always good at handling the details, but this is something I fully believe in: “Success is found under the microscope lense, right next to details.” I gave this thought to our graduating senior high students in a talk: 18 things I wish I knew when I was 18.
If what we have is true, if what we have is real, if what we have is eternal then we should be showing those who come into our experience the best we have to offer. Impressions and thus returns are formed in the first 2-3 minutes. We want the friendly, the outgoing, the full to running over with Jesus people at the door, in the hallway, and in the host areas. The ,”organized church,” has turned so many people off, sometimes we have one chance to change their mind sets and thus their eternal destiny. Customer service, “Soul Service,” should be over the top everywhere in any church seeking the lost!
a customer is the antithesis of a disciple. treating someone as a customer does two things to undermine God’s best for them. 1. It allows them to give away the responsibility for their own spiritual growth. (regardless if someone knows Christ or not, it’s not our job to grow or search, it’s theirs) 2. We take upon ourselves the responsibility for their spiritual growth on ourselves and we feel the pressure. What ends up happening then is a church full of people who have nothing at stake and no (or very little) responsibility for the outcomes of the community. Instead they just do what they are told by the leader toward the vision the leader has cast. this is the recipe for entitlement.
as far as the post goes, i think that when the people of the church do small things for people, and inhabit a room well, whether it be authentically greet them, inviting them to sit with them, offering them a cup of coffee or a smile, it makes a big difference. this is hard to do in a lot of churches because people come to church to consume rather than further live out the mission of God. thanks Craig and Bobby
“But in a world of great service, bad service stands out like a sore thumb.”
Even in a world of average service, bad service stands out. There are numerous “bad” churches out there that people aren’t returning to. How many “average” churches are there that people are returning to but their lives aren’t being changed? People need a church that’s better than “average” to catch their attention and change their lives.
[...] Criag’s entire series on this topic has been awesome, but he really killed it on this one. The chu… [...]
To me this is a great reminder to share with others that we need to keep these thought at eye level every church service. I believe this swerve needs to be resent about every 3 months. God and Jesus bless.
Well said! Just concluded a second two-year intentional interim term at a church that didn’t get this point. (Main reason for me leaving, couldn’t take instruction.)
Service is SUCH a key issue - after all, we were taught to go ‘the second mile.’
How was the burger?
I used to go to the most amazing church and then we moved and have been going to another church that I am not impressed with so I am church shopping. I can tell you that one thing I do not like about the church that we attend now compared to our old church is that as soon as we approach the door someone is standing there to give the 2 people coming sign to an usher and they always want to sit us up front in the middle of a row. There is a pushiness that comes with some churches and I hope that eventually I will be able to find a church where I walk in and can just take a deep breath in the presence of the Lord instead of feeling like I have to ignore ushers trying to tell me where to sit. So yes we want to feel welcomed but trust me if we are new to a church and we have questions or need assistance we have no problem asking:)
You know as new comers to the church even though one may have been saved forever and a lifetime its like highschool. You are excited, you are nervous and a loving, helping hand just makes you breathe more at ease. Church is home and I love to go to a church that makes me feel like I am home and I am noticed and people care. So a welcome, a greeting, a gesture, an ok that my son is going to be ok in the daycare since he is our most prized posession makes you feel like you are home. Its about so much more its like God said don’t worry your brothers and sisters got you they will take care of you and show you how to get comfortable to hear the blessing I am about to pour out on you.
Craig, honestly - were you that mad about the burger? :)
I seem to think you saw it as a blessing…(but have to cover it up around Amy)…”Dangit! They brought me a burger…gosh, look at the time [no clock in sight]…I guess I’m just going to have to eat it!”
Haha, I’m jking………………..kinda.
But on to the actual meat of your post - I completely agree with what you are saying. It’s back to the theme of this entire series, hospitality. Paul, in his letters, thanked multiple people for their hospitality. So, for a church to push hospitality - well that seems precisely Biblical.
In all honesty, I’ve noticed times where I could have stepped up at our church and been extra hospitable, but wasn’t. So this post makes me think about myself.
It also makes me think about the time (1 year ago) when I was a to-go worker at a high-class restaurant…and gave someone with a nut-allergy a dessert with nuts in it. They called the restaurant on their way to the hospital.
Dang…I can’t believe I actually did that. I did lots of little screw-ups like that at my job (of course, accidentally).
Sorry for the huge tangent! The bottom line: Hospitality, at first, requires intentional hospitality. So we, as churches, must push to be intentionally hospitable. Otherwise, people will see us, CHRISTians, as worse-off than others.
I’m starting to come to this conclusion:
Good hospitality gets people to focus on Christ.
Bad hospitality gets people to focus on how our “business” is worse-off than other businesses.
Dang, sorry for the long, thought-journal, reply to your post!
Craig - what’s amazing about your posts is that it reminds me we are in a world where bad service is the norm and good service is notable. I always remember the places that go above and beyond and frequent them regularly as well as tell all my friends about them. Amway, anyone!?!? JK!!!
That said - that same principle applies in churches. I believe the good service we provide to lost and hurting people will keep them coming back until the are “customers” for eternity. Yeah!
Be blessed and thank you for your posts.
What you say about parents dropping off their kids with complete strangers rings loud and clear. I have always been astonished at how nonchalant people tend to be when dealing with children. I can say that I’ve never felt any reservation allowing my daughter to attend Life Kids. It’s a shame that more churches don’t offer the same kind of inviting children’s ministry.
I agree, we should all be conscientious of providing good service to keep anyone coming back to any place we operate. But as a community, we should also be aware of how the individuals contribute to the overall experience as well. Thanks for sharing.
When visiting a church, it’s always helpful to know a few pointers that will keep the skittish local wildlife from fleeing in mass, grouping to present a united defensive front, or responding with the much more common deer caught in the headlights stare and fixed smile attached to a friendly but noncommittal nod of acknowledgment:
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1. Dress in the appropriate camouflage. Nothing puts the local wildlife off like inappropriate attire.
2. Have a neutral scent.
3. Be aware of body language signals that indicate a possible fight or flight response. Respect the “space” of individual, family and small group dynamics.
4. Imitate the behavior of the local wildlife. This will help you to blend into the herd.
5. Approach in a slow, soothing and passive manner. Avoid sudden movements and loud unexpected motions and noises.
With practice, these few simple guidelines could make your next attempt at visiting a church, and observing the local wildlife in their natural habitat, a much more successful venture.
I know you can’t say, but I have to ask; Was it Red Robin? (grin)
I have invited a number of people to LifeChurch that didn’t return and always asked myself why they didn’t come back. I was there when they had their experience. There was a friendly person at the door to give them their talk notes and shake their hand. They had a cup of coffee and a doughnut. They seemed to really enjoy the worship and the message. They even took a glimpse at the mission board. But they didn’t come back. When I asked one of these people why they didn’t come back after much time passed, she said, “Honestly, I loved almost the entire experience. It was wonderful. Very Hospitable. I couldn’t wait to shake the pastor’s hand at the end. But it was then that it took a nose dive. I realized I didn’t get to shake the pastor’s hand. He was surrounded by other people that I had seen onstage immediately after the service, and then seemed to disappear. It went from an extremely positive experience to an extremely negative experience just like that.”
Those pesky sinners and their expectations of an actual embodiment of hope! Can’t they just go find their new believer’s package and stop being annoyingly needy? (grin)