categories: communication, development, encouragement, relationships, spiritual development
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February 4th, 2010

by Craig Groeschel

11 comments (+ Add)

The Other Side of the Betrayal

Let me say first of all that I would never recommend that anyone betray another person in any way.

Yet I’ve seen how God often uses what Satan meant for harm, a betrayal, to make a relationship better on the other side.

For example, I can’t count the number of times I’ve counseled a couple through an affair. Although many times this will cause an unstable marriage to break down, often times the opposite is true. When both people are truly seeking Christ, the power of forgiveness and healing overcomes the power of the evil one.

Amy and I watched as a betrayed wife accepted her wayward husband back. Through tears she told him she was choosing to forgive him as freely as Christ had forgiven her.

Stunned, he returned a bold promise that he’d devote the rest of his life to serving Christ and serving her. So far he’s delivered on his promise. Their marriage is better today than it ever has been.

If you’ve been hurt by someone or by a church, maybe your relationship—with God’s help—can be even better on the other side.

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  1. Feb 4, 2010 at 7:25 am

    Amen, amen, amen! You have hit the nail on the head…have I said..Amen? LOL! My husband and I have gone through emotional/money hungry betrayal many years back and now our marriage TRULY is off the charts! AMEN-uh! God alone can take what seems to be crumbling and make it Aaaaamazing.

    Also hurt by a church in all of that garbage (don’t go there any more) and I can’t say that my relationship with all is better than before with the legalistic leaders…scratch that! It is better…because there is no falsehood…I am me, they are they and I have such a healthier relationship with myself, God, and others. If it weren’t for them and God’s vindication alone…I would not be as strong, my marriage would not be as strong and my faith in GOD ALONE would not be as strong!!!…How about that for a right on the spot revelation! Ha! God is So good.

  2. Feb 4, 2010 at 8:19 am

    The story of the wife forgiving the husband is powerful. Thanks. I think this statement that you said says it all: “When both people are truly seeking Christ, the power of forgiveness and healing overcomes the power of the evil one.”

  3. Feb 4, 2010 at 8:30 am

    I commented yesterday on being terminated by the leader - well the leader who terminated me and never said anything about it was one of my best friends. We did things as couples outside the church and he and I would hang out. I felt so betrayed because of the friendship and the lack communication that came with being terminated. It has just been over a year since it happened - I and my wife are healing. God has been faithful and blessed us more than we deserve through it all. God is Good as has been stated!

  4. Feb 4, 2010 at 9:26 am

    That’s my marriage story. And our marriage is, by far, super better now. God can really use what was meant for evil and bring a lot of good from it.

  5. Feb 4, 2010 at 10:35 am

    During the times when the other party is unwilling to receive or give grace, God is still working. God’s work in not dependent on how someone else responds to us or our attempt to move beyond betrayal, but how we respond to Him. Humble yourself in the sight of God and He will work.

  6. Feb 4, 2010 at 11:23 am

    [...] The Other Side of the Betrayal by Craig Groeschel is an awesome reminder of God’s grace. [...]

  7. 8M Crow
    Feb 4, 2010 at 4:32 pm

    Just finished reading your chapter on criticism in Confessions. I really like what you have to say about the hurt. There’s nothing like being betrayed by someone close to you. It seems church people hurt the deepest. I hope one day my relationship will be better. Only through Christ…

  8. Feb 4, 2010 at 7:44 pm

    I was just talking to a friend on Monday about how the only thing more powerful than bitterness is forgiveness. It really is amazing what a force it is in your life. You can seek the wake of destruction betrayal can leave but often we don’t really stop to take notice of the tide of forgiveness that washes it all away.

  9. 10Avery
    Feb 4, 2010 at 11:11 pm

    Going through a tough situation like this right now in our church home…

    I pray that our church won’t fall into bitterness, and that ultimately it will be a blessing…

    I believe exactly what you wrote about… that ultimately it is for a bigger purpose…

    In our faith… God has ways of taking from the ashes of fire, and bringing new life, and new growth…

    from what is no more, to something more… that is bigger than we can fathom…

  10. 11Brianna
    Feb 5, 2010 at 1:56 pm

    My family an I have just recently lost almost all of our local friends because of some godly choices that we had to make. These were all christian people from our church. Unfortunately that church has some major spiritual issues that people complain about, but do nothing to fix. I have found joy, though, in the persecution. It gives me a certain feeling of fulfillment and meaning! I have never before been ridiculed and put down as I am right now, but it makes me happy to be persucuted for the Lord.