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Letting Go of What People Think
Becoming obsessed with what people think about you is the fastest way to forget what God thinks about you.
My mom taught me the common truth, “You can’t please everyone.”
From my observation, ministers seem to be more vulnerable to people-pleasing than most professions.
In reality, we should be the most resolved of all not to live for the applause of men but the approval of God.
- Don’t let anyone talk you out of following God’s voice.
- Don’t let anyone’s criticism distract you from your passion.
- Don’t long for affirmation before you move forward.
Say what God prompts you to say. Go where God leads you to go. Do what God puts on your heart. Let go of living for people. Become obsessed with living for God.
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No doubt Craig, great post! So critical that we not forget whom we serve, are called by and thus are accountable to: God himself. Appreciate your courage, boldness and passion for truth Bro!
This has become a passion of mine. I want to be whole heartedly following after God and not after people and what they think. I pray for it daily and I have become resolved to make it a reality in my life. Thanks for the needed reminder!
Does “people pleasing” have anything in common with “fear of making someone mad and getting fired?”
I’m so glad to have read this. It was very encouraging!
It also made me think of a to way street involved in leadership. as a leader you should always remember the reverse should be said of you:
Encourage those you serve with to follow God’s Voice (not just your own).
Don’t let your criticisms become a distraction from their passion.
Give a lot of affirmation and encourage forward momentum.
Thanks for the post Craig, always a blessing.
I often watch old LC messages during my lunch break at work. Yesterday I watched week 2 of “You Don’t Have What It Takes”. I am sure you remember it, it was about people pleasing. I am very guilty of doing this. Hearing that message yesterday really hit a nerve. Now today you post on the same thing.
I think God is trying to tell me something!
Thanks for the post…I know what I need to be praying for!
This has been, without a doubt, one of the hardest obstacles that I have had to deal with. My naturally Sanguine personality wants to be liked and to have fun. I have to admit that it has also been one of the biggest downfalls I have had to overcome. I wanted to call it “tact” when in reality it was times pure cowardice. I finally took to heart what I heard someone say, “The sure way to failure is trying to please everyone.” I still battle with this but not as badly as I used to. Thanks for the posts all week Craig. I read them but was “out of commission” and couldn’t respond. I appreciate what you have written this week.
I took a big step forward (still have a ways to go) in this area when planting. The church I was on staff with at the time of my call did not support me. Many on lookers took that as to say I wasn’t called because I wasn’t affirmed. I knew that God was using the lack of support to teach me to please Him rather than man. That experience changed and prepared me for the tough decisions ahead.
My encouragement is to take the chance and step out. Too often we are afraid of what man may think or often we are afraid for our job. In a church plant it is hard because our bold move may mean the end of a new church. In an existing church it’s hard because our bold move may mean our job. Seek him in all you do. God wants us to make Him famous in our communities. Don’t be content with a church job, lead his people on an adventure lifting him up.
Needed to see this today! My pastor and wife feel betrayed by yet another dissatisfied parishioner. I will pass this encouragement on to them…(I think my short lived experience as a high school cheerleader has been more useful than any other skill I learned for ministry!) ha ha
A refusal to please people can equal a death sentence, but it is the best kind of death. Being released from allowing your life to be directed by people who honestly have no interest in you other than what they can get you to do is liberating beyond measure. Freedom in ministry and life is something that can not be fully explained. It has to be experienced.
Amen!!!!!!!
Craig, can I have your permission to post this on my blog?
wow so true sounds like one of my fathers sayings. really been enjoying this site.
Wow, I just talked about this with a guy I’m discipling. I’ve recently been overcoming this with God’s grace. Thanks.
(cycleguy) Agree with this 100%!!!”This has been, without a doubt, one of the hardest obstacles that I have had to deal with.” This post speaks volumes to me. I will take it.
Church leaders, (especially pastors), should set an agenda based upon what God wants and their calling, not the varied opinions of people in the congregation. It makes no sense for God to call a person into to the ministry, and then set that calling aside to do what someone else wants him to do. That’s one reason why pastors end up bitter and spent.
Setting your own agenda flies in the face of most church-govement systems, but if possible, it should be done. Trying to appease the desires of the congregation is not the way to lead. This is why many churches are in serious trouble - the leaders are like chameleons who become what the people want them to become, and the blame the pastor for the lack of growth (and then fire him).
Man’s affimation
Jesus didn’t need any
And neither should we
John 2:25
this reminded me of what has become one of my favorite verses in 1 Corinithians 4, “I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me.”
there are times when we should be concerned about what people say and do but I also like what Gamaliel said to the Sanhedrin in Acts 5, “Therefore, in the present case I advise you: Leave these men alone! Let them go! For if their purpose or activity is of human origin, it will fail. But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God.”
I believe that brokenness has a lot to do with how much weight you put in what people think of you. Once you have been thoroughly broken, gone through the life experience in the ministry where you are not sure if God is who He says He is and if He is why would He would allow so much pain to be in your life. I think it is on the other side of broken, you can say, “Although none go with me still I will follow.” When you see His light and guidance on the other side of broken and you realize that the opinions of man are just that and that His will, His ways are higher and mightier and good.
[...] LifeStream Digest for November 5thOn November 5th, Rob added 12 items to his LifeStream. Shared Letting Go of What People Think. Getting prepared for Sunday — at LifePointe Church http://gowal.la/s/mCw [robwestbrook] [...]
Amen…but,
Is there a place for heeding the instruction/criticism of others?
I think the overall point of this post is good, but you are running the risk if making this just as one-sided as the other extreme, resulting in pastors doing whatever they think is best, whatever they feel like God is telling them (whether he is or not), to the destruction of themselves and their communities.
We need to have both, I think. We need to resolve in our hearts to follow God and ALSO heed the instruction of trusted people who have covenanted with us to be honest with us, pray with us, and criticize us when appropriate.
Remember…we are not in this alone. It is not just “me and Jesus” - even if we are pastors.
Following God’s voice? really now…Where does the doctrine of voice following fit into Bible believing Christianity? Do not we already pocess everything God would have us to know and utilize in the scriptures?…rightly divided of course?
Dean there are many Scriptures that deal with the voice of God….and Scriptures that let us know that we can be led by the Holy Spirit.
Equally as limiting is what we think of ourselves. Does someone who thinks he or she is a great preacher but isn’t have ears to hear criticism that would be cause for improvement?
As Galatians 1:10 says, “If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.”, teach us Lord to live for your approval alone
Such a simple truth yet so hard to do. Thanks for the reminder!
Ken,
Yes of course there is a balance. Even Pastors must have people who speak into their lives. I don’t think the author of the post was trying to deny that fact…but rather he was focusing upon the truth that sometimes leaders can be “lead” by all of the voices they hear around them instead of the voice of God. When any leader leads based simply upon the opinions of others or because he fears the reactions of others he can end up in a ditch. There are always two sides of the coin and I imagine that if we read long enough we’ll see a post on the flip side..
[...] Letting Go of What People Think - you just gotta do it! [...]
After reading this, I’d like to ask you all who read my comment here to please pray for me in this matter. God is indeed moving me out of my comfort zone, and I am obeying His prompting, but I get so caught up in what others think, especially at church. Would you please agree with me in prayer for God to give me continued affirmation, wisdom and boldness to take a stand for Christ in whatever way He leads, whether that is being the only one standing in a worship service, or my continued praying at the alter before service. It is hard to be a change agent, but I don’t want to hinder His Spirit and the work He wants to do through me. Thanks, I really apprecaite it.