The Private Pain Before Public Gain
Before God blesses your ministry publicly, he’ll often allow you to suffer with integrity privately.
Personal pain often precedes pubic gain. A.W. Tozer said, “It is doubtful that God can bless a man greatly until He has hurt him deeply.”
Scripture seems to imply that God will often test us before God blesses us. He wants to know if we’ll be faithful before giving us more.
The biggest tests I’ve faced involved doing the right thing when no one else knows. One time I had to make a public and controversial stand without the freedom to explain the reason. To expose the reason would have hurt too many innocent people.
I believe God called me to endure the criticism from uninformed people on behalf of those who were innocent. One explanation would have silenced all the critics, but also compromised my integrity.
I chose to stand alone. God knew the whole story. That had to be enough for me.
You may have to do the same. If you are facing private pain, rejoice that God might be preparing you for ministry gain.
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I have also endured personal pain in which God directed me to remain in silence and just walk through with no explanation, complaining or fighting to prove or defend real truth.
God simply(also) told me…I know the truth…That is enough…just stand still and the storm will move all around you but you WILL be SAFE.
I am not going to lie..IT was SOOOO hard…but by letting God be God and trusting his word… he unfolds Truth and He protects. Just not sure where God is calling me to minister or if he wants me to have “focus ministry” so I minister where I am at and seek.
This is a hard one Craig especially when you have been “blessed” with a nature than wants to defend itself. Keeping quiet and not try to justify actions is one of the most difficult things I struggle with. Recently our youth/worship pastor resigned (this is his last Sunday) and he chose to do that but I have found myself at times answering questions and saying, “He chose to leave. WE did not ask him to.” No need to defend but I felt I needed to. I reckon that is the flesh taking over. My biggest struggle with the private/public thing involved my family when the kids were growing up (now gone). Being the same at home and at the church gathering was/is important.
Question to consider: does what you are talking about also include the use of bad language, sloughing off at work, pornography, wise use of time, and others? Or is that a whole nother topic?
I wish I could go into all the details on this but suffice to say that you are exactly right on with this post. I have recently gone through something terrible and have with the grace of God choosen to act with integrity and to be honest it was/is tough but I love people too much to destroy their faith because I want people to know what I have gone through.
I resigned from a church position, that involved a major move, after only 3 months in the position. I had two reason for leaving, there was disunity in the leadership that was hidden from me prior to my hire and secondly it was a poor fit. When I resigned I knew if I talked about the disunity I would just blow the place apart and then leave the place in shambles. This would do nothing to bring healing, so I left that part of it in God’s hands (novel idea isn’t it) and just focused on the fact that it was a poor fit on my part. That brought a lot of questioning my way and a lot of people that potentially thought I was unable to stick it out. If I would have talked about the bigger issue, the disunity and the fact I felt deceived by the leaders then I would have been looked at in a different light.
This was one of the toughest times in ministry, but God used this time to begin to direct me toward church planting. He also taught me about making tough decisions that would not be looked upon favorably at times.
Last October I experienced my biggest pain in ministry to date when a local church leader told a lie about me to a group of people I was leading. I was asked to leave the leadership role and know my reputation is tarnished before some people I care about. God showed me He values justice even more than I do but that defending myself wasn’t necessary in this situation.
I’m finally at a point of praising God for this experience because it provided time to focus on work in a different area which is very rewarding. And the fact I’ve not retaliated or set the record straight has proven to me yet again that the Holy Spirit living within me can help me do all things.
This is a painful post for me as well. I have been through some personal and public disgrace because of having to stay quiet in a difficult situation. It was the most difficult thing to do because I knew truth was on my side and could not say anything.
Once the situation began to become resolved, I found that some who stood with me during the struggle turned against me after it was over. That is one of the few times I have felt alone in ministry. It was during this time that my father, who was a minister as well, died suddenly. The situation was not one that I could discuss with other ministers about because of advice and recommendations.
But during the situation I learned to lean on God even more. Lean is not an accurate word as He carried me through. I have since left that ministry position and the hurt is still often there. But the move has been amazing. God has blessed in a union with a church that I could not have imagined was out there. God is allowing me to do the one thing I prayed to do: transition a church.
God is there during the pain. He is carrying you through. I know that it sounds like a Sunday School answer, but until we truly learn to lean on Him during these times, we will not make it through.
It’s odd to say that rejoicing is hard, but it really has been for me. It takes a lot of focusing of the truth instead of the facts.
[...] Do you depend on the praise of others to keep you going? Can you hold steady in the face of disapproval and even temporary loss of confidence? (Craig Groeschel wrote a great post relevant to this point) [...]
I had to deal with this on a personal level. I had done something that I was ashamed of but had gotten away with it. It was my little (actually very big) secret. Although I had gotten away with this sin I felt the need to have to share what was done even though I knew it could hurt and maybe destroy a relationship. I knew that God would not be able to use me until I was released from this burden of guilt. The good news is that God is Good…All the Time! My confession has actually strengthened my relationship and allowed me to go deeper and trust more in my God.
On a side note…I did not see you on the list of speakers for Catalyst in Atlanta…will you be there? You’re talk last year rocked my world…it was amazing.
Talk about hitting a nerve! One great book that helped me understand this was “Tale of Three Kings” by Gene Edwards. I had always known this principle of experiencing pain when growing, but this book helped me have tha AHA moment about it.
private pain is no small part of what it means to follow christ. leaders often feel it first. this is a great post.
One thing I love so much about Jesus was how straight forward he was with his followers. He loved them enough to tell them how much it would cost to follow him. They would not gain apart from pain, and neither shall I. A sobering thought, but one everyone must weigh for themselves.
Thanks Craig for the insight!
Craig, you said “One time I had to make a public and controversial stand without the freedom to explain the reason. To expose the reason would have hurt too many innocent people.
I believe God called me to endure the criticism from uninformed people on behalf of those who were innocent. One explanation would have silenced all the critics, but also compromised my integrity.
I chose to stand alone. God knew the whole story. That had to be enough for me.”
And to that I say DITTO. I’ve been through it too.
I had to bring a discipline issue before the church with the full support of the elder team. The person under discipline lied about what was said in a private meeting with the elders. Some of the people in church believed him instead of the elders. I could not explain everything to the church because it was a private matter that could have hurt others. I decided to take the hit and some people thought we were picking on the person under discipline.
If Jesus taught us anything, it is that if we follow Him and want to be like Him, we must absorb much more pain than we cause. He also refused to answer His accusers, instead, leaving it up to His Father to vindicate Him. It worked for Jesus. It will work for us, too.
Wow! Thanks. I love what you said, “God knew the whole story. That had to be enough for me!” It is hard to not want to defend ourselves, but you hit it head own. God knows the truth and is the TRUTH!
I praise God that He has blessed us with the clarity to recognize when we are being tested by Him. I’m going through some painful situations at work, as well as some growing pains at my church. God is breaking me and molding me into what He wants me to be, and I am forever thankful that He’s given me the time of day, and loves me. We have to remember Proverbs 3:5-6 during these painful times.
I’m just starting in ministry… But one thing I can say: Great posts this week! Can I print them for me?
Inferring that the Lord enjoys inflicting pain on His creation? This is why I don’t like authors like Tozer, and why people get turned off by the “Churchianity” they inspire. True, God tests us, but He does NOT do it just to “hurt us deeply”. He said that offenses must come, but woe to those by whom they come….I say this having experienced similar situations to others that commented…
Thanks you Craig. Very timely.
Thanks so much for your post today. It’s encouraging to connect with another who understands. We were taught to always take the high road but it is difficult sometimes. i.e. Had a leadership couple leave the church when confronted on one spouse having an affair. We never shared the reason why and many thought we just failed them in some way. Another key couple left when a guy did not like a message on “Marriage For A Lifetime.” He shared a bogus reason for leaving but his wife shared with us the truth in confidence which we could not reveal. An intern left due to struggles with homosexuality, depression, etc. but and again people assume something different. We don’t regret doing the right thing but sometimes it is hard for others to form an opinion without having all the facts.
Craig. You don’t know much I needed to hear this right now man. Once again, you are on the money. I am currently facing some of the toughest personal challenges I have ever faced in marriage. All while we just signed a contract to air our church services on network TV in our city.
Please keep up the good work Craig. Don’t stop doing what you do brotha.
[...] Groeschel has four posts worth showing. 1) Private pain before public gain. 2) Training your church. 3) Recent Reading. And last, but not least, 4) Signing up your church [...]
[...] Groeschel on Private pain before public gain. This is a great reminder that leadership will cost you something before it goes anywhere. Every [...]
Luther constantly compared the way of the cross with the way of glory–the negative way of glory was all about avoiding the suffering that Jesus calls us to endure, to accept, to embrace. The way of the cross is the only way of spiritual formation. I wish I knew this more from experience than I do, but by God’s grace, I’m learning.
Thanks, Craig.
I am in tears right now reading this post…one wondering how I found you ( though I know it was God) and two, in knowing that, hearing (reading) a direct answer to my remaining question and fear right now. Have decided in these past two weeks to finally take a stand for God,and no longer dis-service his kingdom about keeping quiet about my call to ministry and most importantly the cause of it being HIS AMAZING POWER, afraid people might recognize ME( and attempt to hurt me with acts or unresolved issues from my past)… I still have so much, so many issues to resolve, yet I know if God is for me who can be against me. Many have been, are, and will try to be (against me, to hurt me) but I must serve him ANYHOW knowing where my heart, intentions, commitments to resolve, and total obedience and honor to God are. Thank-you for this post and May God continue to richly bless you!
you said PUBIC gain, instead of public. that was funny.
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[...] This post really helped me READ IT HERE [...]
This post is so relevant to me right now. I’m going through a particularly rough time, recovering from an integrity mishap, but it is comforting to know that God can use my mistake to prepare me for what he has for me! He didn’t like my sin, but I can be made stronger for him because of it.
Doesn’t make it 100% easier, though…
I sure agree with all who describe standing firm while enduring much pain, I too have to often smile thru the hurt. But who out there has had to smile and then bury the dead (physically) as the church transitions?
I was not ready for that, but God has held me as the re-birth of the church unfolds. I will praise Him at all times.
Rob, here’s a partial answer to your question:
http://united.lifechurch.tv/stories.html