Reaching the Next Generation
To reach the next generation for Christ, we must be three things:
- Conversational.
- Missional.
- Generational.
Let’s start today with conversational. This generation craves intimacy in relationships. They want to know and be known.
Too many Western Christians are turned off (or intimidated by) the young, tech savvy, tattooed, and pierced young adults.
Some churches preach against these outward appearances. Others are striving full-time to be “cool” and “relevant” believing the right environment, best light show, or hot sermon series will win the young adults to Christ.
Both these strategies miss a key ingredient. This generation wants to talk. Conversation matters. Relationships matter. Intimacy matters.
Here are some rules of conversation:
- Before they listen to you, they want to know if you’re listening to them. If you’ll get to know them, they will listen to you.
- If you’re quick to judge, don’t bother trying to connect.
- It doesn’t matter if you’re cool or relevant. It matters if you bring the real you. Fake is the worst thing you can bring.
- The fifth conversation might be the difference maker. In my “Christian Witness Training” course at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, we were trained to knock on doors, present the gospel, and ask people to pray the sinners’ prayer. While this might occasionally still work, it isn’t a likely path to life change. This generation builds trust slowly. If you don’t plan on having a third, fourth, or fifth conversation, you might not want to spend a lot of time on the first.
- They want to be loved. My most consistent conversations with 20-somethings happens in the gym. After getting to know some young men, I genuinely care for them and believe in them. I try to tell them often, “I’m proud of you… I’m pulling for you… I believe in you… I love you.” They seem hungry for acceptance and affirmation and respond well to sincere Christian love.
What are your thoughts? (If it is helpful, tell us how old you are.)
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Great summary!
Just wanted to highlight one thing that underpins a lot of that: This next generation doesn’t want a sales pitch. They find “the good stuff” not by advertisements, but by community & by what the people in their world say - people who have earned the trust & who don’t appear to have other motives.
Wow… reading this blog makes me understand me better! haha… But you’re right Craig… all we really want is in general to be heard and to be told that you accept us as we are…
Our generation is sadly missing fathers and mothers… if the Church could step in and fulfill this role in a small way, just think of the difference we all could make in the world today. We wouldn’t need to do a “One Prayer” series because we’d already be one…
Thanks Craig. I’m forty and need to hear this. I really like what you said about this generation wanting to be loved. Great insights.
I think you were talking about me too. I am 41 and a pastor. I respond better to this type of communication.
Craig, i have some problems in “friendship making”. I mean, talk to new people is not easy for me, that very first meeting. But i’m working on that mostly thanks to my wife!
Great post!
I long for people to ask me “What do you think? Do you have any suggestions? What did you think about my sermon, really? What do you long for?” and if those questions are asked frequently and with love they might get some honest answers.
My husband has lots of experiences from being a leader to both non-christians and christians and he said that it’s so much more developing to lead non-christians because they actually tell you the truth about what they think of you.
Craig: Appreciate your thoughts. I, for one, am glad that “the church” has finally come around to what really matters in the long run. First, a personal relationship with Jesus and Second, a “relationship” with others. In my younger pastor days I was always taught “don’t get close to people” and I honestly believe that was to my detriment. I am a people-person and it was like trying to shut out part of me. I broke that rule more than once and developed some great male friendships, a couple which still go on today. I am excited about the desire for “community” and to be loved and accepted. I believe Someone named Jesus talked about that many times. And I welcome anyone coming up to me and asking what I meant by what I said or wanting to talk more. I can also see I need to do more of that same thing. Thanks again for these posts. Oh, I am 56…an old man by some standards.
I am closer to forty than I am thirty and at times I am amazed at where the time flew. When we were young (back in the olden days LOL!) we wanted to be heard, accepted, told that are ideas mattered, loved for being us and that it was okay to Love christ. I don’t think much has changed …..(okay definately the 80’s hair).
I do think people today are more cautious to invest in general. We just have to love them and let them know that they matter by simply being REAL…don’t run around singing “i surrender all…pretend you know it all…you are super sally christian and you follow 8 steps to perfection…etc…just invest.
I am so thankful for all of the adults who invested in me when I was in Young Life in High School…they helped shape who I am today! Amen!
chejoo, I feel like we are friends from talking on the blog…
Bill, I was taught the same thing about not getting close to people. I believed it in the early days of ministry (18 years ago). Pretty sad, huh.
Jason and Theresia, Thank you both for sharing your thoughts. We’re listening. Please keep talking and helping educate other pastors on the blog. So glad you are part of the swerve community.
David, so true about the sales pitch.
The content this week has also helped me rethink how I relate to my own teens (15 and 17). Parents we need to listen up here, our first priority is in the home. Looking forward to the rest of the posts this week.
The fifth conversation is so true. Trust is a major issue in students and those older these days. I think it’s because so many people have broken that trust: parents, friends, B-friend, G-friend. That is why I’ve had to learn that CONSISTENCY is one of the most important ingredients to reach this generation. However, it can’t be consistency in pushing an agenda, but consistency in building relationships with them, showing that you care.
I’m loving these posts!
Oh yeah, and I’m 22 BTW
Craig, I’m curious - how do you approach your work out time as ministry? I’ve been thinking of trying to do that recently and your comment about connecting with guys @ the gym got me thinking.
This generation has a built in BS-O-Meter. No Posers Allowed!!! I have a 22 year old daughter and 19 year old son. In the past year they have led four of their peers to Christ. I asked them how… They said, “Just hanging out together. They see our genuine love for each other and our willingness to pray for each other and our friends and they want to be a part of this community.”
I think the cool thing about this post is it brings out what is relevant and popular…listening to people-Old School Jesus stuff. Listening to people transcends culture and age.
Thanks for sharing it…
Randy, so true!
Terry, Going to the gym is my best “outside the church” ministry. I usually go around the same time and so it gives me the opportunity to see the same group of people. Over time, it is very easy to develop relationships.
I’m loving this weeks topic. This generation is very conversational and often our listening speaks greater than our words. Students can spot a leader who does not really care about them a mile away. If their ready to talk we better stop doing everything and listen. If we are student leaders are our calendars don’t reflect time with students to share their heart with us we may be out of touch.
What you wrote Craig brought a scripture to mind, one of my favs for sure. Galatians 4:19, describes true ministry to me like no other. The people we are telling about Jesus are our children; there’s a big relationship. I labored over them as a mother giving birth, allot of intimacy there, as well as couple other connections. Not only that, but I’m so connected I’ll go through the whole thing with you again if I have too. Paul decribes ministry as this close relationship and there is no short cuts. He describes His laboring with these children, the Galatians, to bring about this birth. They somewhere along the way, lost their way, the first birth was aborted for some reason, and now he’s willing to go through the whole birthing process yet again. Because he’s after only one thing, Jesus formed within them. Until he sees that, He hasn’t got the birth he’s looking for, but he’s willing to do whatever it takes to get it. So when we all say relationship is the key, we really are speaking Paul’s language.
A question and a comment.
Craig, Who are you thinking of when you say the next generation? Specifically.
Jason– I hear your heart but think that the church should not try to be the parent. It cannot. Too many parents drop their kids off for discipleship or youth and then think that they can check discipleship off their list. It has to be the parents building a strong Christ based foundation from birth on for it to be the most effective.
So maybe we should focus our efforts on parenting and give the parents something to offer the kids.
Finally, I think that churches should have a place for kids to come and be all the things Craig described. There should be a place for kids of Christian families to come and be welcome and loved and a place where kids who do not know Christ will feel welcome. It saddens me that many churches, including mine, only have one or the other.
Jared - 19
Haha I honestly don’t understand how you know this stuff! God has soo blessed you with wisdom! Don’t get used to it! Continue to thank God!
For me - conversation matters. Somehow I’ve excluded myself and in result grown a negative self conscious. So when people I look up to sit down and take 10 minutes to hear what I’m going through it means soo much to me!!
Here’s the problem: I feel bad seeking advice/mentoring from others (including books) because I feel like I should only be taught by God.
It’s really hard though because on the other hand I do seek approval and acknowledgement from those I look up to…so it’s kind of a battle.
Two extremes.
Two things this young generation needs: 1) To be taught their approval comes from God (only seek His approval) (which admittedly is hard for me to even type out) and 2) Personal mentors - each child of this upcoming generation needs a personal one-on-one mentor.
Advice for me? To get out of this bind?
SAW, You asked who I consider the next generation. Good question. I should have clarified. In my mind I was thinking about a range from 18 to 28 or so.
I can completely relate. Being 19, pierced, and tattooed, I am frequently politely excommunicated from christian social circles. LifeChurch has been my home for several years now, I’ve seen a campus plant, and grow. Now I’m planting a network church nearby, specifically for college age young adults and I can’t to seem to reach people like myself. This article is an eye opener to the things I myself want, and receive. Thanks Craig.
You’ve given me some useful insights - thanks!
I think a lot of what you’re saying here is not only generational but also gets into the post-modern way of thinking. I’m 35 and I tend to lean towards the post-modern side, although not completely. I agree that you don’t have to be cool or relevant - but you do have to find some common ground. I think the post-modern crowd is really good at seeking, but not so good at finding. So they really need to have leaders step into their lives and help guide them to the truth. But it’s not about bringing them knowledge, it’s about helping them find the true way. I think in the end they still want to believe in truth.
I am 38.
I think one of the other keys to reaching the next generation is to be real or genuine.
Although many of them have never set foot in the church, I would say the majority of them… have been influenced outside of the church building by the way they see Christians acting. I heard somebody say, the world does not need another sermon, but they need to see a sermon in action. People are tired of fake Christians… why should they believe about Jesus when Jesus has not transformed our lives?
In Ed Stetzer’s book, Breaking the Missional Code, he talks about BEING, DOING, TELLING. Being Jesus to our community. Doing what Jesus what have done for our neighbors. And by being and doing, it earns us the right to tell them about Jesus. In this approach, it comes back to the relational side of what you talked about.
Jared - I like your own advise of having a one-on-one mentor. Have you identified that person in your own life? Sounds like even though you acknowledge that you have a tough time being mentored/taught by anyone but God, you are here on this blog learning from a lot of mature believers.
I would also suggest that you find someone younger that you can mentor also. Sounds like you have some wisdom @ 19 that some older folk lack.
Peace
Terry
I am always so encouraged by these postings. I did not get a job at a church as a pastor once because they asked me what “program” I was going to use to evangelize the “heathens” and I said I was simply going to hang out. That didn’t work. They wanted a program. I then was at another church working and ran into trouble because I was seeing more people enter the Kingdom than the Evangelism Pastor who was using EE as his program to reach those that were un-churched. I was using coffee and neighbors. I simply loved them. Cared for them. One of my neighbors got an EE visit when the pastor knocked on the door. They were so offended. They came and asked what that cold visit was all about and I had to apologize. We try so hard not to make people numbers, but programs do. Discipleship making doesn’t. Jesus didn’t. He simply loved and people followed. We can speak the truth but not rush it. We need to love. This takes time. Thanks Craig for your loving leadership as the Kingdom is advanced in relationships.
This makes me feel better about how I relate to my small group. I will be 29 for 4 more days and my wife is 27. We joined a small group with families that also have children, but we are the young folk in the group. Everyone else is in their 40’s. Recently the group wanted to come up with a way to help improve communication and interaction within our little community. I suggested a blog would be a great tool to use to blast information and foster a place for community outside of our regular meetings. It started out well, but everyone fell off the horse pretty quickly citing issues with finding time to participate or respond. To the older group it was a time waster for them to visit the blog and comment. For me and my wife, it was a great time saver not having to make phone calls and track down who we wanted to talk to. We decided to scrap it because it does not fit the culture of the group. Ultimately my goal is to connect deeper with my smallgroup and the blog was a way to do that. Now we have decided to try to do more together to further our relationships. This seems to be a bigger challenge for me as time and schedules do not always permit me to plan and coordinate events with other families whereas the blog is accessible for me to respond and communicate at all times.
I have been pastoring a small rural church for the past year. When I first came to the church, I sat down with groups of people and asked questions concerning their expectations for the church (and to find out those ones they wanted for me as well). One of the biggest things that I heard from my older generations was a door to door visitation program (yes, they still do exist).
I was a little disheartened to hear that because I am not a believer in those any more. I knwo that there are some environments where they work but I feel they won’t reach the “Next Generation”, which is our new focus.
People as a whole don’t trust as much anymore. Plus my generation and those after it want personal relationships.
As a rule, I try not to include my calling in my conversations with people. It’s puts up a front or a wall. I just try to be a parent, a friend, and a dad.
By the way, that seems to be working here. Our growth has come from personal relationships, and we are thankful for it.
I am 43 years old and planting a church called “Connection Church”. My wife and I are driven by this mandate of relationships. People hang out at bars, coffee shops, have a neighborhood poker club or other types of social gatherings because they crave relationships. We are attracting young families(25-35 years old)who want to find a way to connect with others their age. We are only 4 months old but we are seeing the fruit of having virtually no programs and instead just focusing on relationship building. Some of them are getting close to one another and inviting their friends to experience it as well. One thing I know: they do not like a canned sales pitch. They want to know you are the real deal, so you better be the real deal.
Craig, part of the vision that God gave us for H3O Church is: Be a church without church. Our vision slogan is “to reach those that nobody else is reaching”.
I thought that i knew what He meant with this, but this weekend I saw the truth!
I don’t know where God is taking us and yesterday, in our prayer time, my wife and I realize that, in order to reach those that nobody is reaching, we’ll have to close our eyes, open our hearts and just trust in God and His capability to touch the young people.
I learn from Lifechurch that, vision from God isn’t always easy to understand, but, if you dare, you can live it to the fullest!
I can’t write a manual on this, obviously, because i’m just starting, but i can already say that this “next generation” that’s already here, is so exiting!!!
Peace to you!
Wow Todd!
Great experience!
We have no program either, but… we’re just 2 weeks old.
Hope to learn from all of you!
Peace!
Right on. I am 26 and a youth pastor in a church where the average age is 50 or so. This is stuff that most of them just don’t understand and don’t want to understand. We just want to be heard and cared for and that’s it. The idea of asking us what we think and how we could make church better is awesome.
Craig, awesome insight. I am a youth pastor who is about to turn 30. The points that you make in this blog are so true. Working with students, I am seeing that the more that you are just “real” with them, the more they let you speak into their life. This isn’t just a “youth” thing either. Keep the pearls coming!
Craig,
I’m a youthful 42! Ha!
You know, I think it really comes down to a few things…
- are we genuinely called to be where we are?
- do we really love others?
IF we’re trying to DO ministry, we’ll be mechanical & cold; but when we know God’s has placed us where we are and when we’re FULL of His love; we deliberately strive to reach others. Smiles come naturally. We listen because we want to respect them and know them.
Maybe it sounds too simple. But, that’s because we make it so hard.
Great post - yet again, Craig! Thank you.
That is the absolute truth Craig. How are they supposed to internalize what you are saying if you have not internalized them. I also have built relationships at the local gym and even built mentoring relationships out of it. God has been teaching me about discipleship and caring for people as Christ has cared for them. I am 19 years old pursuing Youth Ministry by Gods strength alone. Thanks for you blog, podcast, books, authentic faith, and leadership. You rock brother.
I love these insights and really pattern my ministry in this manner. The problem is I take a lot of criticism for this approach. I have quite a few “veteran” youth workers who haven’t change their approach in 20 years of working with students. I am constantly told I am not paid to go to games and choir concerts that our held at the local schools. For example, I love basketball and my family and I go to all the games including the away games. Sometimes we drive 80 miles away, and the players and their parents love it. I have been able to share the gospel at more basketball games than anywhere else. I missed one away game and I had more than fifty students facebook me to see if everything is ok. We have students enter our church just through me attending sporting events. I can’t seem to get my youth workers to buy into the fact the people, especially students, do not just come to church because you have a program. My youth workers are great teachers, but they think all ministry takes place during the Sunday school hour or on Wednesday nights. They have no other contact with students during the week. Any advice would be appreciated.
This is absolutely TRUE! As a 20 year old, looking back as early as elementary school I yearned to know something REAL! People want to know they are HEARD! We want to know that relationships are real and go both ways. Relationships are KEY…live the life you want others to seek!
[...] Click here to read the rest of Craig’s post. [...]
I think the most important thing to reach to the new generation or what you want to call it is relationship. All that these teens are striving for is relationship and love. That is why dating has become such a ‘cool’ thing to do. They want to be wanted and loved. If a church has great light shows and good sermons that is great. But if that kid walks in and walks out never talking to anyone else you won’t see much of them. Relationship and love will win this generation to the church!
Loved the article Craig!!! I definitely try to apply this everywhere I go. What about your relationships with other leaders? Should you apply these principles with the people that work for you and the people you work for? In your opinion, what can be the effect of bad relationships among leaders and co-leaders?
[...] Shared a.k.a. “Stolen” Thoughts Craig Groeschel shared on his blog some thoughts on reaching the next generation. [...]
[...] (Craig Groeschel - swerve.lifechurch.tv) [...]
[...] Reaching the Next Generation Interesting thoughts! [...]
Craig what an outstanding topic that you have hot on these past days. I am 49 years old and desire to be working with youth and young adults in some capacity to the end. Seriously can you ever retire in ministry?
Tell young people you love them!
I always teach volunteers to listen and repeat what they hear when speaking with young people. Not to assume what you heard, seek clarity. Repeating their statements not only shows you are listening but helps you remember.
Tell young people you love them!
And maybe hug them a little more often!
these are great thoughts!
I would love to use these generational ministry thoughts in a (free)booklet we are putting together for a next-gen ministry conference here in southern california with Mike Foster, Brad Baker, and others.
is there anybody specific i can talk to for that?
~chris
7conference.com
[...] Blog: Craig Groeschel Reaching the Next Generation To reach the next generation for Christ, we must be three things: Conversational. Missional. [...]
[...] Excellent thoughts about Reaching the Next Generation [...]
[...] Unsere Herausforderung lautet, in diese Generation zu investieren. Sie wollen von uns lernen. Und sie können übrigens uns eine ganze Menge beibringen. Bertrachte dich als Paulus, der nach einem Timotheus sucht. Selbst wenn du erst 23 bist, dann halte eben Ausschau nach jemandem, der 18 ist und sprich Leben in ihn hinein. (Quelle) [...]
[...] hack, a relic, a leftover from a by-gone era, etc. You get the picture. I have often posted on Craig Groeschel’s blog that compared to many of his readers I was raised in a different era of ministry. Over time I [...]