Should I Stay Or Should I Go?—1
Many pastors and church staff members wonder if they should stay where they are, or seek a new place to serve Christ.
- Too many leaders leave before they’ve finished their current assignment.
- Too many leaders stay longer than they should.
How do you know when you should stay or go? This week we’ll talk about some times you might consider moving on.
You might consider moving on when your vision exceeds what others will allow.
Occasionally God will put a bigger dream in a person’s heart than the current ministry structure and culture will allow.
For example, I served for five years in denominational system. I had a true heart to make a difference and stay faithful to my roots, but the structure of the denomination would never allow my vision for church to become a reality.
When I realized my vision exceeded what the denomination would allow, I recognized it might be time to move on.
Visit 
Great quote…
IMHO an individual should have a great perception vs. reality barometer, great self-awareness and listen to the whispers of God. Both as a secular and ministry leader; it’s important for me to encourage/help my team find their sweet spot.
Looking forward to the series!
Indicators
great insight pastor craig!!!
whoa. great stuff here.
I did a post titled “8 Ways to Know It’s Time To Quit”. Two ministers I interact with regularly quit their positions within the next month without their next assignment in place. I made them promise it wasn’t my “idea”.
BTW, you can read that post here: http://www.ronedmondson.com/2008/10/8-ways-to-know-it’s-time-to-quit.html
Great thought. Couple of question on this subject matter. Maybe they’ll be address this the week, but just in case…
How do you know the difference between having a critical eye (a leader challenging the process) and simply being critical?
How do you know if you have out grown the leadership of your leader?
He won’t say so to me, but watching an associate pastor read this, I know it has rocked his world…and I know why. Thanks Craig!
This post struck me to the heart. This is EXACTLY why we are planting a church. The place I was serving had many great qualities, but I kept wrestling with this very same question: stay or go? One day I overheard someone say this exact quote, “Sometimes the dream is bigger than the environment you are in.” God had been putting a dream in my heart to do ministry in a different way and I could not do it fully where I was. A year and a half later and three months into the plant, we have a growing church that I LOVE because I finally have the freedom to do what God put in my heart. It is risky and difficult to move. You have to know God is speaking to you to do it. But, sometimes you just have to shoot the gun and then ride the bullet.
Pastor T, I hope this didn’t mess up your AP too bad.
A.J. You asked some great questions. Maybe others can weigh in as well.
You asked, “How do you know the difference between having a critical eye (a leader challenging the process) and simply being critical?”
Heart and attitude means a ton to me. I’m not sure how to quantify the difference between a critical eye and a critical heart, but the first is always constructive and the second is usually more destructive.
You also asked, “how do you know if you have outgrown the leadership of your leader?”
I’d love to hear from some of you what you think.
I can definitely relate to this first point. At the previous church I was at, what I wanted to do in children’s ministry went beyond what the church was comfortable doing. At the time, I was too afraid of what moving on meant. It took some uncomfortable confrontations and the lack of budget to keep me on staff to help me move on. Looking back, I definitely see the truth in this first point.
is the Open site down??? can’t seem to pull it up on my computer…Chad
I think a good leader will know when one of his associates have outgrown the church they serve in… And great leaders will be able to let them go in a positive way which can be a blessing to the current church and the future ministry that call may be calling this person to be a part of.
Craig, I am thankful that you are dealing with this subject. I edit the pastors area of lifeway.com and the articles that we have posted in this area are some of the most popular on lifeway.com.
The first article is ‘10 Factors to Consider Before Leaving Your Church’ by Conflict Management specialist Norris Smith. Norris says pastors should consider the following 10 factors before leaving: Calling, Circumstances, Competencies, Depletion, Conflict, Conduct, Tenure, Doctrine, Environment, and Livelihood. He briefly explains each one
The second article is ‘How to Know When It’s Time to Go’ by Calvin Wittman (Sr. Pastor of Applewood Baptist in Colorado). In this article, Calvin says we should look for “a compelling sense of call, an overwhelming certainty that God is calling us to a new place of service.” He suggests considering the following five questions:
1. Is the new assignment in line with your gifts?
2. What does the body of Christ say?
3. What does your wife say?
4. What does the Spirit of God say?
5. What does your heart say?
I’ve posted links to these articles on my blog
http://pastorstoday.blogspot.com/2009/01/craig-groeschel-asks-pastors-should-i.html
Thanks so much Craig for your insight. We are using your book “It” regularly in our church staff meetings.
I think you’ve outgrown the leadership of your leader in several situations. Here are a couple…
1. Your vision exceeds that of your leader.
2. Your vision conflicts with that of your leader.
In either one of these two situations, there will be conflict that arises our of the vision, leading you to a recognize that it might be time to begin pursuing the bigger dream God has put in your heart.
In Jesus day, a Talmidim was a follower of a Rabbi. When the Rabbi sensed that the Talmidim had become like his Rabbi, he bacame a Rabbi himself. With Jesus, he sent out his Talmidim. Even through failure (such as Peter), Jesus said ‘you can still be like me,’ which was radically different than the norm of his day.
Often, insight from your leader can be the best indication if you have outgrown his/her leadership. A good Rabbi recognized when his Talmidim is ready to move on.
as a volunteer at our last church, i found myself frustrated with the leadership…traditional elder/deacon boards. For a hand full of years they were trying to build a youth building before we attended and music was always an issue. it was 7 years ago that we started attending, and 2.5 years that God moved us to another church in our community. sad to say, our former church is STILL “discussing” in their elder meetings a new building and music. As a volunteer,I lost my joy for that church when grown men couldn’t resolve even one issue in 10 years. We as volunteers need to realize that when God gives us passion to serve, we need to find the church that God wants us in. I’m amazed at how much our family has grown spiritually/emotionally/as a family under passionate leadership.
Leaders of the church: if God is calling you to leave or do something different, please do. you are messing with the lives/hearts/souls of to many people to fake it till you make it.
This is truly on my heart…these blog mania has allowed for me to vent, pray and seek direction as a pastor…I say this because I knew the ministry I started and gave birth too was not fully a part of the vision and dream given to me by God. I foolishly continued out of pride and the adage “I’ll not fail God’s call!”
God still used me to plant a few seeds, water a few hurting souls and harvest new members to the kingdom… but I new in my spirit that God wanted me to go in another direction…That direction could be as an associate pastor, lay person or evangelist but I know God is the best judge of that. He is using me now … but I know without doubt that something bigger is coming and I just need to keep teaching, preaching and living the word of God…..I can’t describe the fire that is within me for my call…..
I guess I was living the Gideon theory…just keep on showing me signs so I can be comfortable verses faithful… I don’t know if I’ll every pastor a flock again but I do know that if you stay to long then God uses that to teach you and if you jump too soon He’ll use that also…When your dream is not that of the folk and fill like your are drowning…then this is the Peter theory…just ask Jesus for His hand…
I may have not even answered your question but this is therapy for my…thanks for letting me rant
Living Life Large
I live in El Salvador, and I read your blog. Congratulations. I love this post, and I´ll be waiting for the rest of it, I know God´s going to talk to me through your posts. Blessings
First,I learned years ago never to have this discussion on Monday. The natural biorhythms following the adrenaline rush of Sunday activities will alter your conclusions.
Second, In my last ministry transition the book Red Light, Green Light by John Cionca brought great clarity to the call I perceived to be hearing from God. That book is now released under a different title and is available here http://www.ministrytransitions.org/MINITR~1/Before_You_Move.html
Thanks Craig and Ryan. As I have been dealing with these issues and trying to separate pride from calling I appreciate your posts and prayers
Hmmm. This is tough. I hear absolutely no call to go. I even tried to work something up when Herbert Cooper did his great talk on Abraham leaving home back in September. But nothing.
Maybe God doesn’t always intend for you to leave when you feel to big for your bowl. Maybe there’s a different lesson to learn. I know some people who left and will always regret it because it’s almost impossible to go back.
Right on, Dave… never make this call on a Monday. And Kendra is right, it’s almost impossible to go back… that’s why before you make the decision to leave your current ministry situation, be SURE it’s God and not something you ate last night.
I’ve learned this in my experience… remain where God has you until he puts another opportunity in your life. If you leave without something your running to, then you are running from something.
Craig, Thanks for the great advice and articles.
Eduardo, So glad to have you as part of the community! Blessings to you and your ministry in El Salvador!
A.J., Happy to pray for you.
Dave, Great advice on not making the big decisions on Mondays. Should have started this discussion tomorrow!
I believe this would be a strong reason to begin the process of perhaps moving on. As you read this post, there is no sense of unhealthy tension between the vision and structure/culture of the church. But don’t get me wrong, there is tension. But it is in that tension that perhaps God speaks to us about trusting Him more and following the dream he has put on our hearts. In that tension you find yourself having to really trust, really pray, really humble yourself and be willing to leave your comfort zone behind. A comfort zone that has been interupted by this healthy tension…which mind you can sometimes be really annoying once you have gotten comfortable.
Awesome Blog, Bra.
I’ve had to deal with this issue too. My obedience to God word has help me to get understanding of His Anointing. God sometimes has to check us to see if he can trust us with more of his Anointing. God is in total conctrol of our lifes and he has a purpose planned out for each and every one of us.
The question is how far are we willing to go for Christ. Even if it mean moving the who family to one place to another. God want our obiendience more then our sacrifice.
That is why I believe that God had to show me something in order to get my attention. In it all, I found my Personnel Devotional Bible Study with Jesus Time(My D.O. Time). I realize that there is no man on earth who going to teach and develpement me like Jesus Can. Jesus has been with me the whole 12 year of my ministry Life. There’s no 12 step program to teach Us how to do us.
Jesus the living Word of God is the only way to teach us how to do us. I want to encourage you who going through this issue. To be strong and of good courage, because God is not done with you yet.
Thanks again Bra for opening this issue that is plaguing the Church today.
I left a ministry a little over 3 years ago where I served as the Executive Pastor, where I was empowered to make almost any ministry move I deemed necessary, and where I was held in high esteem by both the congregation and staff. Your probably asking at this point, “Are you crazy, why would you leave?”
Unfortunately, the Senior Pastor (who was and continues to be my best friend) insisted on being the vision/change initiator, he was a great pastoral care giver, but not a great leader/vision caster. Simply put His lack of the gift of “Leadership” held the church back, it was the perfect storm, the Senior Leader occupied the wrong seat on the bus! While I was there the church grew from about 100 to 300 in attendance, it remains there 3 years later.
I started leaving 3 years before I finally departed and believe the church in stronger because I honored the Senior Pastor and my friend even though I disagreed (always in private). Leaving truly felt like “the pulling of flesh from my bones,” it was painful as I left a congregation and a friend whom I love. Waiting those 3 years was one of the hardest and yet best things I’ve ever done, there were times in the past where I displayed neither the patience nor the wisdom to do the right thing. I waited on God’s direction, faithfully served and did not leave until I saw God’s direction for my next place of ministry service.
I thank God everyday for where He has positioned me for ministry at this point as it may be the only place where my gifts can be fully leveraged for the Kingdom, where the vision is greater than I could ever dream or imagine, and where ministry leaders are empowered to challenge everything that is currently being done for Kingdom advancement. After more than 3 years in my current position I wake up every morning eager to be part of what God is doing but remember when it wasn’t that way!
I hope this connects with some thinking it’s time for a change, if you are considering moving from your current ministry position to another I urge you to listen for the unmistakable voice of God saying:
Your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying,
“This is the way; walk in it”
Isaiah 30:21
I had the exact scenario play out when I was an associate pastor. My vision grew and grew and I was able to bring great influence into this church. But a day came when I realized my vision would cause more harm to the church than good - I would have pushed too hard to accomplish what God was growing in my heart or pulled people my way. I was committed as an associate to never divide a congregation, so it was time for me to move on. I knew I had accomplished all that I could. I did so, and in time God brought to pass the vision He had given me. He used that very church when the time was right. It was so cool to see how he brought it full circle. Wish I could share the whole story here.
Too often we move too quick, jump from place to place, run people over, hurt people in the process or try to accomplish things in our time frame only to face the same challenges elsewhere.
Scary.. I was just struggling with this question and thought about checkin’ if your daily wisdom would give any answers. And you wrote about just the same thing that I was thinking!
Maybe it’s a sign?
I’ve got to tell you, I am in the midst of the research, the questioning, the beggng God for clarity. I continue to find myself in a place of “forced” contentment with where I am at, instead of a “natural” contentment. I know contentment is often a choice, but my question is, when does it cross over to the feeling stage? And if it doesn’t, is that a piece of the puzzle? I await you rfuture posts with bated breath…
Meeting with elders and interim senior pastor this afternoon to discuss this very thing. Praying for wisdom. I’m looking forward to hearing more on this subject.
obviously, i am content with not spelling well. . .
(see post 28)
Craig,
Thanks for the insight indeed!
I spoke to you at Catalyst 08 about this similar topic. Thank you for your words of encouragement. Thanks for this post.
Bless you man!
Ben
Thank you so much for this post and discussion. I’m currently in the midst of this incredible challenge. For me, it’s been a three year process simply because I didn’t want to be one of those guys leaving too quickly. Your blog is helping me down this difficult path.
Hearing God’s voice and following His leading isn’t always as clear as we would like - the bush in my back yard still hasn’t gone up in flames! But, I have found fasting to be an amazing tool that we often under utilize. After almost 20 years in ministry I am just now learning the value of setting aside a specific time to fast and pray.
[...] it comes to church leadership and how to be more efficient in your role. He posted about a topic “Should i stay or should i go”. I am in the middle of this battle in my head right now because of the circumstances that lay [...]
You know you have outgrown the leadership of your leader when…
You approach your leader about your vision, they pray about it, confirm it and bless you on your new path
You are too comfortable to understand what God has for you and your leadership/peer group is not challenging or stretching you
Everyone around you cannot understand what God has put in your heart. They quell your zeal
God has placed an overwhelming burden on your heart and you cannot work toward it because it doesn’t line up with the vision of your leader
You are scared to move into a new growth area, but are excited beyond understanding
You are not affecting others, and they are not affecting you in a Christ honouring manner
Your leader doesn’t want “IT”
Craig,
Reading your book “IT” and reading this, I can’t help but having the urge to leave. I wrestle and struggle in the following area:
1. If I stay, I don’t think I’m growing my full potential. I’m leading my family into spiritual dead-end (thank God for lifechurch.tv for my spiritual feedigns)
2. If I leave, the ministry that I recently committed too and the people who also put in their hearts and souls will be devastated. (side note: the person that I committed doing the ministry with recently left the church)
3. Passion. Sometimes I’m scared of the vision that God places in me. I fear that I’m not good enough. I won’t be as an effective leader as I think I am. I also wrestle with the question… do I have a passion for the work of God? or for God? I believe these are two very distinct areas. And it can be both. Sometimes we tend to get wrapped up into having a passion for the work of God… but it must also originate from having a passion for God first.
[...] on staying or going in your current position have been really thought provoking. You can read them here and [...]
WOW…I have been through almost everything that everyone is talking about. I have been in the city I live in for alomst 3 years. We came here to lant a church which closed it’s doors in November of last year, it almost broke me. We merged what was left with our parent church, which is not that big itself, within the same city basically because it was God thing, because everything about these two churches was different. To this day not one perso has jumped ship. I am strugling with my place now. I don’t agree with the leadership of the lead pastor and he is kinda looking to step out of the way and let me take over, but I am not sure that this is where I am supposed to be, yet I feel like I just can’t leave. Just thinking out loud I guess, thanks for all the thoughts and conversation.
When God asked you to go somewhere you should go..
[...] will not find a better set of posts on when to stay and when to go than you will find starting with this one. There are four to this [...]
The thoughts behind these posts should be developed into a college course for ministry majors…. I know more ex-Christians who blame their exodus from the fold on a Christian or Christian leader who got stale or bolted on them early than on misunderstood theology, botching funerals/weddings, or bad counseling. It’s staying too long, leaving too early, or just totally being in the wrong place at the wrong time period that is a true root cause of pain in the body of Christ. Look at King Saul. Or Hezekiah.
Dear Pastor praise the lord
Greetings in the most exalted name of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.
We hereby write to introduce our ministry: Kirupiyen Kirupasanam. We are located and minister from a village called Jothipuram. This is located in the Taluka of Arkonam, District Vellore, Tamilnadu, India.
My father Pastor Prince Paul is ministering here for the last 20 years. During this period we have seen tremendous move of the Holy Spirit and souls being added to His fold.
Jothipuram is surrounded by approx. hundreds of villages. Most of the people here are pre-dominantly non-Christians. To cater to the needs of the people, the Lord has led us to diversify the ministry. We have registered this as a Trust and are now doing the following ministries:
1. CHURCH MINISTRY
2. VILLAGE MINISTRY
3. CHILDREN MINISTRY
4. HEALING MINISTRY
5. INTERCESSION MINISTRY
6. YOUTH MINISTRY
7. BENEVOLENCE MINISTRY
For all our activities you may please see our website: http://www.kirupaiyenkirupasanam.com There is a lot to be done in this part of the world as per Ezekiel 3:18 and 33:18. There is good opportunity to conduct Evangelical crusades, etc. Should your church/mission have a
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burden for this part of the world, you may please join hands with us, so that we can together labour for the Lord. So far we have good rapport with the people around and therefore, there may not be any hurdles for the ministry.
Please remember us in your prayers and also should the Lord lead you to support our ministry, you may please contact us.
Looking forward to hearing from you soon.
Thanking you
Yours in His Kingdom building
PETER WESLY
VICE PRESIDENT