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Secure in Christ
People are always watching. Many are full of grace. Many are full of judgment.
As a pastor’s family, you will be wise to prayerfully develop a deep sense of “security in Christ.”
- When your kids are secure in Christ—peer pressure weakens. When your kids are not secure in Christ—peer pressure increases.
- When you are secure in Christ, your need for human acceptance decreases. When you aren’t secure in Christ, rejection kills you.
- When you are secure in Christ, you easily obey the voice of God. When you are not secure in Christ, you constantly fear the opinions of people.
The more God blesses your ministry, the more negative voices you’ll attract. Years ago I was stinging from some painfully false rumors that were circulating. God used Amy to build my security in Christ.
She asked me (already knowing the answer), “Are the rumors true?”
“No.”
Then she said with deep faith and assurance. “People’s opinion of us doesn’t change Gods’ opinion. Live for the opinion that matters.”
Well said.
What insecurities do you need to overcome? How are you growing more secure in the “fishbowl?
Visit 
God has taken me on a journey that started right before I planted the church I now pastor. I had always been able to openly stand for what I believed, but privately I would walk away thinking, “I hope they still like me or I hope they will see things my way”. When I left my last church to plant, almost every leader in that church turned away from me, saying they would not support me. At face value some would say I was not called to plant based on their response. But God spoke so clear to me saying, “Brandon, you will have to make tough decisions along the road as the lead pastor of this new church, get used to standing along and following me”.
I have always struggled with the strong desire for people’s approval. God used that situation and he is still working in this area of my life. I’m truly learning to live for an audience of one.
The toughest one I had to overcome is the “I want everyone to like me” and when they didn’t I struggled with who I am. My wife stood alongside me and encouraged me but it was the Holy Spirit finally getting through to me that I had really only One to please and the people of the church “ain’t” Him. That took a huge load off my shoulders and even though at times I still struggle with it (I hate to see people leave) I am much better because of my security in Christ…and knowing my wife is behind me 100%.
Craig, you said, “People are always watching. Many are full of grace. Many are full of judgement.” It’s been my experience that there are also many who are full of… *fighting urge to insert terribly unpastoral and grossly inappropriate noun here*
This oh so important for ministry leaders… even though people may mistake your security in Christ for cockiness, extreme confidence or boldness. It’s not about “Peoples” approval, but rather His approval!
God’s favor is a coat that many where and His truth never changes in the pit!! I am grateful for His security when I experience His favor!!!
Plain and simple…the thing that has helped me deal with being a people pleaser is my prayer life. As I’ve gone deeper in prayer, and I have developed a better ear for hearing the voice of God, I can be sure of the vision and direction He is leading me in and it makes it easier to be a God pleaser vs. the people pleaser. Honestly, we all want people to like us but our ministry call or God vision shouldn’t come second to warm fuzzies. He will help us not be cocky but confident in who we are in Him!
Many great people of God at times suffered from battles with insecurity. Maybe it is unrealistic to completely rid ourselves of all insecurity, or we would become cold ,isolated and indifferent towards counsel and input from our Kingdom relationships. I totally agree that security in Christ keeps us in a healthy balance, but I think part of our spiritual DNA is a desire for connection and relationship. This makes us prone to swing out of balance. Everytime I tell myself I don’t care what people think , I find myself caring what people think even more. Maybe (sorry used that word again) the tension of keeping the balance keeps us in a healthy place of security. IDK, Just the rantings of a pastor who doesn’t have it all figured out. Thanks for all the good thoughts about the subject
“Nothing new under the sun,” somebody said that? Leaders are always in the crosshairs and always have been. The age old struggle of “Who’s in control;” some can live with someone besides themselves at the top, many can’t. They are sure they can do it better, me included. It’s true in any leardership position, political, social, and yes, even in the church. Many of His own followers, even gave Jesus a hard time on occasion. Certainly the rest of the religious world has challenged His lead. “If they persecuted me, they will persecute you.” Someone said that too. Does it make it easier to say these things, when the attacks come? Maybe, I hope so. I do know it’s easier to say after you’ve had it happened to you a bunch of times and come through it. Someone just remended that it’s hard to remember that the goal is God’s glory and not mine. I too often quickly forget. Thanks for bringing me here to think on it again.
This reminds me of Proverbs 10:9 - Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but he who makes his ways crooked s will be found out. (ESV)
Thank you for these encouraging words.
Perspective is something we could all use a little more of, and when I say perspective, I mean a godly perspective. Just yesterday I received a message that was hurtful and untrue, yet it still had a bite. I thank God that my LORD loves me and sustains me and gives me the courage to keep walking forward with clarity. Pushing self aside and placing God in His rightful position in my life is so essential and it makes the opinions of others seem so secondary.
Kyle, Thanks for the great verse.
George, Good words.
Then she said with deep faith and assurance. “People’s opinion of us doesn’t change Gods’ opinion. Live for the opinion that matters.”
That is incredible…Live for the opinion that matters…seems through our 23 years, even though rumors hurt, if they held no truth, we always became a stronger more stable church…
Truth is the key that unlocks the chains of insecurity! God’s truth is in His Word! Amen, I LOVE this stuff!!!
Our spouses play such an incredibly important role in our ministry, as Craig highlights in this and many of his other posts, while the pressures on our family are often unrealistic they are very real. As leaders in our home we need to not only be aware of them but work diligently at fostering healthy relationships with our wife and children. This takes time, precious valuable time. We are called to be husbands and fathers first often as pastors we get this order confused. We are so aware of everyone elses needs that we forget that leadership in the church begins with leadership in the home. see Paul’s letter to Timothy.
Thanks for swerve.
What kept me from God the most, and, what led me to God the most, when I was on the dark side, was Christians. On the “other” side the light attracts those not in Christ. THe Lord showed me that it is mediocre Christians within the church that keep the lost outside the church from accepting Him. It breaks the heart of the Lord to see His church in such a way, but, His mercy and loves endures forever! It also “spoils” those within the church from receiving His fullness! I pray that we that are sold out for Christ continue to be so and let the agape Love of Christ flow through us so that His light may shine and to Him be the Glory! That will be the only thing that will raise up the army of believers for that battle that is on going for souls. It is His will that none shall perish but that all shall come to repentance. The prayers of the Righteous availeth much. That is what brought God’s heart to pursue me! Otherwise, I would be dead by now and in eternal damnation. He gave me one last chance on January 12, 2008 to accept Him. I did, and now He lives in me. Now I submit to His Lordship! Otherwise, I could resist the devil all I wanted and he would not flee. Submission is where it is at folks. That will take all this other stuff from influencing us; especially the opinion of man. “The wisdom of man is foolishness to God.” It is His wisdom I must seek every day that I awake. It is His will, despite the opinion of man, that will give me peace. It is obedience to His word and to His will that will bring me to a place on this earth that will truly make me one with Him. ALL GLORY is His forever! I submit this in all humbleness.
IF you’re secure in Christ, you LIVE. IF you’re insecure because of the opinions of others, you exist… barely.
Caution & wisdom should be exercised in what we say and what (who) we listen to.
“A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions” Proverbs 18:2.
I love love love it when my KIDS remind me of my ID in Jesus!! Great whispers.
Recently, having the opportunity to speak with Amy, I battled with am I good enough! I know my ID…it’s my platform, yet I asked the question anyway.
Your wife stopped me in my tracks and put that question to rest! I love the body of Christ working together… Holding up each others arms…and encouraging daily!
Complete in Him!
Craig, you asked what were doing to overcome our insecurities…
A simple thing has really been helping me lately, and I have noticed a difference. I’m intentionally asking my wife a lot less on Sunday afternoons how I did with my message, and taking a few brief moments in prayer to take my efforts before the Lord and settle it with Him. It’s crazy how much less it matters what others think of me once I’ve done this.
Mike l. Amen!! I remember when I thought I was so wise, but it was just knowledge.. Not wisdom! I pray that the body of Christ will ignite with passion and operate in the fullness of God… Anything short breaks my heart!! Praise God for your redemption! Do not grow weary. Press on. Don’t shrink back!!
I went through a season where the opinions of people wrecked me. There were rumors about me and my family from people I thought were close friends. My wife asked me the same, “are they true?” “No.” God covered me with His grace and showered me with His presence. That’s what got me through it all. I’m working on being wrecked by God more than others. Thanks for the posts!
Dear Mike your testimony is amazing, it is obvious that God saved you for a reason to be salt and light in this lost and dying word, thank you for your words.
Steve I appreciate your thoughts on insecurity being a persistent companions of God’s great leaders; The story of Moses comes to mind who when he first heard God’s call begged Him to send some one else Exodus 3-4. What we learn from Moses’ story is that we as leaders must eventually bolster ourselves up under the confidence that God is the one who has called us and equipped us. Having this confidence we should not give too much attention to the voices that would try to distract us from God’s purposes.
Daneen. Thanks for the illustration. Another good one is David. The Psalms are full of his struggles going from despair to joy, fear of his enemies to confidence in God’s deliverance etc. I think the Psalms are a good read for understanding the balance between security in our relationship with God and still being open and transparent with those we minister to, knowing that we may be wounded in the process. He is truly our hiding place!
I am a pastor and have been a pastor’s son my whole life. I have said to people that gossip…”I’d rather you talk about me behind my back then to my face, cause then I don’t have hear you voice.” I don’t think it works very well but it makes me feel good. J/k
[...] 13, 2009 Craig has a great post here. The quote that stuck out to me is this one… The more God blesses your ministry, the [...]
My insecurity is that I’ll be a disappointment. Once, while asking for forgiveness, I told my wife-to-be that I would rather leave now than to be a disappointment for the rest of our marriage. That attitude pervades my choices even now. I can tell a lot of people to go get bent but some seem like they have a power. However God is showing me more and more that I’m where I’m supposed to be for a purpose… His plans, not mine.
[...] January 13, 2009 by littlesanctuary Good advice for those in the ministry fishbowl. [...]
I seriously needed this today, Craig. Thank you!
Just got goosebumps reading Amy’s words. God PLEASE help me to live for You and what pleases you!
Amen! I do fear the oppinions of others, especially my church leaders who I may not see eye to eye with. But the more I am growing in Christ, the more I am giving those fears over to God, and build up the confidence in my own heart that my walk is just that; mine and The Lords. I can’t get caught up in the favoritism games that people play, nor can I make anyone respond to me in ways that I would find acceptable. Thank God for His mercy, love, compassion, and understanding. Oh, how we all need more of His wisdom. Let us all strive to live by His spirit and by hearing His voice instead of the voices of others. Amen and great post!
[...] So, what was it again you were offering me? Eternal peace, hope and joy in the presence of and “security in Christ”? So what are you doing falling then? and apart? Alone? Dudes…I already got that covered. [...]
Craig (and all those others you love and appreciate who make ministry in Christ possible at/through LifeChurch),
Thanks for these posts on pastors families.
We’ve been in ministry for 20 years in supporting roles, so we dealt with a share of challenges.
But now, being lead pastor of a newly planted church, the focus and realities are a bit different. That includes our renewed commitment to our seven homeschooled children in a variety of ways, including specific preparation in these areas.
Thanks again and blessings on the Groeschel Independent School District from the McClure Independent School District!
Later, P
Greetings, Joyce Meyer writes in her book “Approval Addiction” I believe it is God’s will for each of us to be secure because lack of self-confidence torments us and keeps us from the blessings He intends for us to enjoy. Over the years i have learned that the foundation of security is knowing who we are in Christ,accepting God’s unconditional love, and accepting ourselves evn though we realize we have weaknesses and are not perfect”. Realizing that I have weaknesses and that God accepts me and loves me is freeing for me and as a result on meditating on that statement and that Christ is my security; I feel much stronger now because he is my security not what I do.
I wonder…how many times does the word “I” or “me” come up in our thoughts…how did I do, what do others think …. I love what Oswald Chambers said.. August 20th: “The complete life is the life of a child. When I am conspiciously conscience, there is something wrong. It is the sick man who knows what health is. The secure child of God is not conscious of the will of God because he (or she) IS the will of God.” God’s promises are totally 100% secure… His covenant keeping promises! When we are really living this happens, what does mere man’s opinions matter. Is this person cocky? No, but is so much the image of Christ by humbleness, compassion, and love for those who oppose or have differing opinions, that Christ literally shines through you. “When there is the slightest deviation from the will of God, we begin to ask…What is thy will?… Christ consciousness always takes the place of self-consciousness. When Jesus comes (his way perfect through us)he establishes rest, the rest of the pefection of activity is never conscious of its self”. Never allow anything to remain that allows dis-peace or unrest. Say, Lord prove thy consciousness in me, and self-consciousness will go and He will be all in all.
The true innocent child never aware of themselves, they just “ARE” rightly related to their Father in complete submission and trust relationship. They never doubt, but completely rest in who He is. Secure.