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Who’s First?
Dr. Harriet Braiker calls people pleasing the “Disease to Please.” She explains that it is a form of addiction. Just as drug addicts crave drugs, people pleasers crave approval.
People pleasing can become a form of idolatry.
These verses capture the heart of the problem: But because of the Pharisees they would not confess their faith for fear they would be put out of the synagogue; for they loved praise from men more than praise from God. John 12:42-43
Most of us (even though we don’t want to admit it) love praise from people. Unconsciously we can start to put people’s opinions in our ministries ahead of God’s opinion.
I want to ask, “What will God think?” more often than I ask, “What will they think?”
How are you handling this challenge?
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Excellent series, Craig. A couple years ago I compiled the list below for quick, daily review.
Pleasing God
Proverbs 16:7 (AMP)
When a man’s ways please the Lord, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.
Proverbs 29:25 (NLT)
Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but to trust the LORD means safety.
Proverbs 29:25 (MSG)
The fear of human opinion disables; trusting in God protects you from that.
Proverbs 29:25 (TLB)
Fear of man is a dangerous trap, but to trust in God means safety.
Proverbs 29:25 (TEV)
It is dangerous to be concerned with what others think of you, but if you trust the Lord, you are safe.
John 8:29 (NASB77)
“And He who sent Me is with Me; He has not left Me alone, for I always do the things that are pleasing to Him.”
Romans 8:8 (AMP)
So then those who are living the life of the flesh [catering to the appetites and impulses of their carnal nature] cannot please or satisfy God, or be acceptable to Him.
Galatians 1:10 (CEV)
I am not trying to please people. I want to please God. Do you think I am trying to please people? If I were doing that, I would not be a servant of Christ.
Ephesians 6:6 (MSG)
Don’t just do what you have to do to get by, but work heartily, as Christ’s servants doing what God wants you to do.
Colossians 3:22 (TLB)
You slaves must always obey your earthly masters, not only trying to please them when they are watching you but all the time; obey them willingly because of your love for the Lord and because you want to please him.
1 Thessalonians 2:4 (NLT)
For we speak as messengers who have been approved by God to be entrusted with the Good News. Our purpose is to please God, not people. He is the one who examines the motives of our hearts.
why don’t you just kick me square in the pants, craig?
thanks for the post. i needed this and needed to share it this morning.
Kirby, Great verses! Thanks.
Anne, Sorry! I am kicking myself around, too. Hope you are doing well.
Handling it? Well, when I try and handle it myself… I am like a person spinning a dozen plates who doesn’t know how to! CRASH! When faced with this issue…I TRY to reel in my thoughts, take a “timeout” , and turn the wheel! Never easy… but I WANT to ask the right questions MORE in my life as well.
I second Anne’s pant-kicking sentiments. Ouch! Thanks for this post. I think it’s perfect to call people-pleasing a disease - one I’ve suffered from for too long. God has been showing me how I can only do what I can do and the way other people respond or form opinions is out of my control. So what I need to do is what God wants and so my job is to seek Him.
Reminds me of the prophet Micaiah …
In terms of success (I am defining this by saying success is pleasing God), Micaiah was successful at overcoming people pleasing. (1Kings 22)
Four hundred people pleasing prophets were prophesying a people pleasing message, and Micaiah was prophesying a God pleasing message…
He was hated for it… but he pleased God… that is real success…
Pleasing God sometimes mean people are going to treat you like your Master… reject you, despise you, ignore you, or even hate you … in fact Jesus promised if you seek to please God you will suffer…
I challenge today’s leadership not to just to know what pleases God, but in faith do it…
The trend of most ministries today can center around people pleasing…
I dare leaders to try something different … try measuring success by faithfulness…
I’m asking myself “What will God think about a church that THRIVES on pleasing people.” I’ve prayed for God to change me if I am wrong. I’ve prayed and fasted for God to change the leadership. It has come to i either compromise to keep a position or leave. I’ve cast all my cares on Him. He is faithful. I don’t care what ANYONE says. It is honorable to God or I have no part in it.
i realized this morning standing in a crowd of students around a flagpole… all of which are at least five or six years younger than me… thinking ‘i wonder what people are thinking when they see me.’
i have a major ‘cool’ complex. i was kind of cool in high school - so it was always my ambition to be or act cooler than i was. so it is in my thoughts and on my mind… even now.
Blake, Thanks for your transparency!
P.O.T., I appreciate your challenge.
This is without a doubt my #1 hang-up. This one thing is what keeps me from being all that I want to be for Him. I’m reminded of John 3:30 in this very moment. Thanks, Craig, for being a wonderful model of this verse to me over the years.
What am I doing? Reading posts like this that remind me who close I am to “me” worship. but also trying desperately to keep all things in perspective. How am I handling it? Probably not as well as I would like to think I am.
The “Disease to Please” can be fatal to a ministry…there are just too many opinions…always have a small group of faithful, Godly people to keep your balance…
At the first of the year, I myself went through a major life changing situation. I found myself in over my head because I wanted to please everyone. I physically and mentally was unable to say no to those asking of me. i had spent 2 years of my “life” working a day job to support my “habit” of church work. Finally i realized I was making excuses and lies up to cover not getting things done for others, just because I was afraid of being outcast because i couldn’t do everything. I was living to get more and more and feel more and more a part of church. Then in one failing swoop it all came crashing down. I spent 3 months of my life going to the people I had done this with and covenanting to not allow it to happen again. I have also thrown myself into my family and watching my now 3 year old be a kid and me be a dad, and a husband to my family.
God revealed to me that my concentration needed to be on serving Him and His church through and with my family. During my time, I spent time in our children’s program, working in missions along side my wife and spending time in prayer and searching for God’s peace and direction in my life. My life is more God centered and what God would have for me, because I realized, I CANT DO IT ALL….I am enough for God to use the way he sees fit in his kingdom.
I love that! I’ve gotta start asking “What will God think?” instead of “What will they think?”!
There is alot of emphasis being given to honoring men as being a biblical mandate in certain circles. There are many verses to back this up. The problem is when we mistake honor for “people pleasing.” I guess the difference is in the motive of the heart.
[...] Who’s First? [...]
How does anyone know whether they are “pleasing God”? Does He come down and reveal Himself in person and say, “Hey, I am pleased with you!”? No, HE does NOT. We depend on the words of OTHER PEOPLE to tell us whether we are pleasing God. These OTHER PEOPLE may have an agenda of their own. Which is why I am a Deist - I’ll trust my own estimation of whether I am pleasing God, thank you very much. I know right from wrong. Second hand information is hearsay, no matter how you put it, and not worth 2 cents!