Chad? Have you done any thing to recognize her? Write her a note, have a lunch for her, give her a plaque, certificate, a gift or gift card….. let her know that you still greatly value her contributions then as well as now. Let her know she is still a part of the team. Then, if she still takes it personally…. talk w/her directly about it. If you don’t - it could affect the rest of your staff and your ministry there as a whole. And honestly? If she is not willing to grow with you and the rest of the staff…. it will be okay to let her go. In fact, it might be freeing for her and you. Praying for you, her, and the rest of your staff.

For example, no one can mentor twenty people effectively. Jesus only tackled 12, and lost one — and I’m not that gifted. So even if I had 10 people in my church, I should be prayerfully choosing half that many to invest in deeply instead of trying to be the messiah to all of them and waiting till there are 50 and find myself saying uncle far too late in the game. In a church of 40, who are my 4-6 key leaders? A church of 400, who are my 4-6? In a church of 4000… The bigger my church gets, the higher level those 4-6 key leaders become.

That’s what I think, anyway.

We are learning that we can’t be “buddies” with everybody the way we could when we started with 7 people. We have learned that people can be ignited by the senior pastor (and those closest to him), but should not ATTACH themselves to him, expecting close friendship from him. That’s why life groups are so important. It’s also why we’ve changed focus slightly and are investing more into leaders, rather than the group as a whole.

Frankly, we are probably still making mistakes. But questions like yours help us think through them. Thanks, dude… I’ll have to pick up a copy of “IT.”

Question for you: When did you realize that your relationships needed to change with your congregation? (I’m speaking of the early growth phase of a church plant.) Do you have any regrets about that phase?

Chad asked for advice on explaining the changes to a staff member. Maybe some of you can offer him some wisdom.

Mike, I think it would be hard to discuss with numerical breakdowns because everyone’s style of leadership and relationships differ. Truthfully, I think redefining or directing relationships should happen more often than not.

I’d love to hear about what stages you believe that this should happen in a ministry/church and what those changes need to be. I’m speaking numerically, but maybe there’s a time dynamic as well. Can’t wait to hear about this.

Thanks for all that you guys do!

Also, we just got done doing the Warrior series yesterday at our church and it was amazing! People were saying that it was one of their favorites ever and we just kept telling them that you guys were to thank! Thanks for your generosity and your heart to share all that you do!

This staff member has been with me for over five years, and for a long time it was just the two of us on staff. She has been faithful and hard-working during all of this time. But the transitions of this year have been very difficult for her.

Thanks for raising this issue on swerve. Any insight or experience in this matter would be helpful.