categories: priorities
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To Unplug or Not To Unplug?
Some say to really rest, you need to totally disconnect. That means no cell phone, no email, no blogs, etc.
For me, checking in occasionally relieves me of any concerns. I’d rather have a few questions answered than be away and wonder if certain things are covered.
I find a quick scan of emails or occasional call helps me to relax.
What about you? Do you stay totally connected, semi connected, or disconnect totally?
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I am with you … staying partially connected at least is better than the worry of complete disconnect not to mention the time to catch up later.
someone asked me last week, if I left my cellphone and computer at home when I went on vacation a week earlier. I said no, and they acted like I had committed a cardinal sin. I skimmed e-mails, and screened calls, but I also spent some quality time writing and blogging. That’s part of what I do to relax.
I stay semi-connected. I still carry my cell phone. I don’t have a lap top so if I find a computer I use it. If not, then I don’t worry about it.
I just shut off email and internet completely to my phone a few days ago. Now I only get calls and texts (and only a handful of people have my number). I know the temptation is too great for me and my husband and friends are too important, so for me, it was time to be drastic.
I wrote about the root reasons for my decision here…and in the comments it seems like I’m not the only one who struggles!
http://www.flowerdust.net/2008/06/16/flushing-my-phone-down-the-toilet/
we live the lives of a plate spinner, if we take time out and forget to check in and keep the momentum we come back to broken plates.
What i do is enforce a strict 15 minute daily limit on emails while on vacation.
If you need to stay connected - even a little bit - to relax, I’d ask myself a few hard questions:
1. Have I equipped others in ministry enough so that they really can carry the ball if I am not around?
2. Do I trust God enough to really take a true sabbath - accomplish nothing and trust that ministry and life will survive without me for a while?
3. Is too much of my identity tied up in people liking how responsive I am?
4. Do I have enough margin in my schedule that getting caught up after a day of no voice/email is not a problem, or that it doesn’t take me weeks to recover from a week off?
If you can honestly answer all those questions in the right way and still want to check email on your day off or while on vacation, then go for it! If not…
I usually check. I don’t think it is good to be to disconnected totally.
I skim e-mail and check voice mail but I do not respond to e-maila or answer calls on my cell phone. That give me the opportunity to manage the imformation and not have to wonder about the “what if’s” that may greet me on my return. My wife helps me stay accountable and not “engage” while I am off. There are times that I will take 2 to 3 days and totally disconnect in the middle of an extended time off but to unplug for a week or two of vacation does not work for me.
If given the opportunity I completely disconect… no cell phone, no emails, no texting. I don’t mind having those items with me to surf the internet or talk with family. I’m on call 24-7 with the church I need some time where I realize I’m not “on call”. I’ve got a great team of people around me and they could take care of things just as well (or better) than I could.
Mark, Very good questions. Thank you.
Paul, I like your strict 15 minute rule.
For me it’s a bit of both. I am fortunate to have an all-star team who really pick things up when I’m gone. I need to write - it’s a relief valve and part of any Holiday or time off. Email is getting to be a drag and I’ve taken steps to eliminate the clutter even when I’m here.
I would say that I am simi-pluged in. I don’t check my email, blog, or call the church office. However, I do take my cell phone with me just in case. We have a great staff and they know to only call if it is a last case senario.
I am all for being disconnected, but often find that the anxiety of wondering what is going on keeps me from really being able to rest. Like so many other things it is a discipline that has to be learned and re-learned.
For me it’s semi-connected. There is my job of ministry that I leave at the office, and my service to the church that is with me all the time. To stay responsible as one who serves the church, I want to stay connected enough that I can feel the pulse and know the needs. (The second part of this would be that I’m a leader, so that doesn’t mean I have to dive back in -> I am called to mobilize the team.)
I rest better when I’m not connected, but it takes me several days to stop feeling the stress of being disconnected. If I’m going to be connected during time away/rest time I don’t take work phone calls, but I do check/answer emails, read blogs, etc. I really strive to limit my connectivity to the start/finish of each day as well. If I can get my fix of connectivity before my wife gets up and stay disconnected the rest of the day everybody is much happier.
In the past I stayed connected, but then again I rarely got away, now I unplug completely, they have my cell number if there is a problem.
Thank you Craig, and could you talk to my wife about that! Just kidding, sort of!LOL I just feel better when I’m on vacation if I can just make a quick scan of my emails. I think people are just different and what works for one person doesn’t neccessary work for someone else. For some reason it gives a little peace knowing the wheels aren’t coming off somewhere. However, I also recognize there is a bit of a workaholic in me, something I know you struggle with as well. It was great to get to meet you at the Marriage Retreat. You knocked it out of the park the last night. Thanks!
Total disconnection is what I need. Of course, the day I return and see my inbox loaded with 100+ emails, I nearly pass out. BUT, I’m in heavenly bliss with my family for those days away.
Chris is like you. He needs to check periodically just to make sure and ease his mind. Whatever works for him is fine with me. I find that when he does check in it actually allows him to relax more.
Me? Out of sight, out of mind. What in the world does that say about me, lol?
I usually only fully disconnect when I am getting away for more than a week, like for family vacation. I spend the first week checking in and wrapping up loose ends. By the second week I can forget about work altogether.
As a confession, when just my husband and I are away together, I don’t like to call and check in on the kids. I know that sounds horrible, but it really stresses me out to call home when I can’t get to them. It makes me miss them and then I get sad. I usually make my husband call. It doesn’t bother him.
Thanks Kerri for that confession! It’s a lot easier to me to completely check out from work than my kids, but I think it’s important for me too. I don’t call them. I work under the “no news is good news” policy (They’re fortunate enough to have grandparents close though).
When something major comes up, I do appreciate the phone call updates from work I’ve received on vacation though. I wouldn’t have been happy to come back and find out later.
this is a great question. my lovely wife already answered this for me to a degree. We are about to take off next week for 2 weeks but only 1 weekend. that is absolutely the longest I have ever been away and it makes me highly uncomfortable. Like many of you I have great leaders who i have a lot of confidence in. Sometimes i really wish i had the personality type that could easily disconnect and just play. My issue is that i don’t feel i can afford to spend a day or 2 playing catch up when i get back so it eases my mind to check in periodically. My goal on this vacation is that i will only check in every couple of days. I really like the 15 minute rule by the way.
I’m like you Craig- I tend to feel a bit more at ease when I am connected. At least somewhat.
I multi-task well. But I’m learning that it’s not about what I can handle- it’s about how it makes others feel.
I want to treat the person who’s with me like they are valuable and deserving of my attention. I’m learning to not look at the phone when it rings (or vibrates) or watch a family movie with email up on my laptop.
Again…I’m learning. I’m not batting a thousand but I’m working on it.
@ Mark Schulz - very helpful questions to consider!
I am usually totally unplugged when I am away. I don’t check e-mails or phone calls. I still blog and check blogs though.
I am not sure that it’s right or even best but I don’t think I could ever totally disconnect. Just getting away seems to do the trick for me. If I were to be totally disconnected I think I would feel naked.
Total disconnection for me. I need the break away to let my mind rest from constant planning and the distress of problem areas. I try to not even talk about work with my husband during vacations. It is not until the return trip that I let my mind begin to focus on work.
I spend the week before I leave organizing as much as I can so that things flow smoothly during my time off and making sure there is someone responsible for all important areas in my absence. I figure if there are not people capable of managing things while I get some necessary relaxation we have a problem - what would happen if I get run over by a bus tomorrow. That weakness then is an organizational issue that needs to be addressed and we are not being responsible in building other’s abilities.
To ease the first day back I use my old-fashioned daytimer agenda. On the page for the date of my return I list by priority everything I need to accomplish in the first week back. It helps me to hit the ground running instead of wasting time trying to get organized. I also go in to the office an hour ahead of everyone else to open e-mail and get oriented while it is quiet.
I actaully think that staying connected a little bit as you go is just fine. Sometimes I think we can take the whole disconnection thing too far. I really believe that it is more for you than it is for the organization. I’m sure time off is not going to sink lifechurch. I think staying semi-connected says more about your passion than it does your commitment to a sabbath. My passion is what keeps me motivated spiritually. That may or may not make sense but I can only say that continual contact with my passion in some way, small or big, is what makes me tick whether I am functioning as a full time pastor with a boat load of responsibilities or not. It’s just there and it is what makes me tick. Whether on vacation or not.
Semi-plugged in for me. I’ll check the voicemail and e-mail about once a day. This helps me feel at ease, and eliminates a lot of stress.
The best thing I do is take a break from blogging, reading blogs, news, television and movies…it is unbelievable how relaxed I am and how clearly I think when I take a break from media…our entire family has been doing that for One Prayer and it has been awesome! We’ve laughed, shared, and played together more than any other time in the last year!
I guage how much I do or don’t do this while away on a few factors:
1. How am I feeling right now…REALLY?
2. Who is with me on this time away (wife, kids, friend, etc.)?
3. What are the circumstances at work/church while I am gone?
Those questions help me determine my connectivity while I am gone. If I have hard and fast rules about it, then I tend to drive myself bu guilt rather than grace.
Craig,
The only time I used be totally disconnected is when I would be in a remote location in a foreign country on a missions trip and these days thanks to the Blackberry phenomenon that is a story of the past.
Thank you for being an inspiration to so many preachers.
Sujo John
I am one of those guys that’s either totally connected or semi-connected. My biggest problem is my computer. I am either constantly online or designing something. It seems like every 10 minutes, I come up with a new logo concept or a desire to revise something or an idea to blog about. I just have to check my email at least 5 times a day or Facebook at least twice a day. It eases my worries (lol). I know it’s sad, but I thank God for the iPhone. Now all of my emails, twitter, Facebook, etc. come straight to my phone and I can check it all from there.
I also think that since I’m a college student with no wife and kids, I don’t feel too convicted about it. But I can see where it can almost consume you if you aren’t careful. That’s why I sometimes have to escape to a Starbucks or Barnes & Nobles to meditate, read, or just to sit. It works… sometimes… if I silence my iPhone.
T H I N K | C H A N G E
About 360 days a year I’m over connected. But every once in a while I just have to completed disconnect. But I can’t so I have to go somewhere where I can’t access my phone or my computer. That’s the only way I can really disconnect.
It depends on the situation. If I’m on vacation I try to leave my laptop at home and maybe check email once or twice to clean out my inbox - but sometimes not at all. I always have my cell because of my kids, but I don’t answer anyone else and check voice mail. When I’m away on retreat I put my cell in my suitcase and pull it out to talk to my family once a day.
To be honest, I do best if my laptop is simply not with me. I would do better to not check anything at all. HAving it with me is a strong pull and temptation that I don’t need. So I’ve been leaving it at home more. I don’t have a blackberry for this very reason.
I struggle most of all to not check email and messages on my sabbath. I guess cause I’m at home and my computer is right there.
BTW, my need to check has no root in actually NEEDING to work. Staying conncted is really just an addiction I am working on breaking……..my time with my family and with God and just with my own thoughts is more meaningful if I turn it off completely. (except for calls from family)
I just came back from vacation where I looked at my email and voicemail one time. It was nice to check, but also nice not to have to respond.
I stay very connected all the time unless
1. I’m convicted or convinced that it’s actually a waste of time and I back off for a while.
2. I’m on holidays.
I should probably back off more regularly. It’s not good for freedom nor for your relationship with God if you’re always connected, always logged onto facebook and surfing Twitter. :)
I just got back from 4 days in the Keys. I am thankful for my blackberry that I checked out from time to time and kept the “to do” list shorter. I think the key is when you are away, choose your timing carfully when you are going to plug back in. You dont want the family to think “nothing has changed.”
God asked me to lay down the blackberry about 4 months ago. I have been more productive and less stressed..
Only you can ask yourself just how “in-touch” you have to be. I am more connected to God, and less affected by circumstances that I know I couldn’t control even with a blackberry…
VOTE:UNPLUG and ENJOY!
I would love to say I totally stay away from the tech when I’m off… But I don’t. Im typing this from my iphone… At midnight. My question usally revolves around what I decide to stay connected to… I just have to unconnect to reconnect.
Like you, checking in occasionally makes me relax better.
Here are a few comments from a reformed “constantly connected junkie”. These are all questions,thoughts I went through in my struggle to disconnect for a while. Believe me it was not an easy fight.
1.Your time away should be just that. It took me a long time to reach the “Be still” stage while on vacation. I went through all the excuses just like many of the respondents to this blog. I found that it all came down to a trust issue between me and God. Did I trust that God could handle things while I was not on duty? I had to face one of my favorite Andy Stanley questions. “How big is your God?”
2. What kind of example was I setting for my staff, my family and others in my life, if I did not “rest”? I perceive it sets up a culture that will burn the most dedicated people out.
3. Often times God calls people to mountain tops, deserts, places where He can have their undivided attention, places where they have no choice but to rest,so that He can prepare them for a great work. No cell phones. No computers. How many great works did I miss because I did not unplug, truly rest and trust God?
4. My husband deserves my unplugged time. I could say it all day long, but if I was not fully dedicating the time I promised as “time off”, my mind and heart weren’t exactly following my mouth.
So I pray that you will “Unplug”, rest and let the God of the Universe handle things while you are off duty.
Live Dangerously!
I find that I used to check my emails all the time at home. I hated getting phone calls, but my email was a must, and I found myself getting emails that would stress me out and not let me sleep. Then our internet at home went away. It really bothered me for a while that I could not compulsively check my emails, but now about 2 months into it I love not having that weight on me every night. I know that when I leave the office, for the most part, most of what I was working on or dealing with stayed there. My family got more of me.
I am looking forward to going on vacation in August and leaving my computer at the office and turning my phone on silence.
I work as a project manager for a large financial services firm and on a average day I might receive 100+ e-mails a day. I tend to try and stay semi connected when on a vacation or down time. It’s more relaxing for me not to deal with 500+ e-mails when I get back in the office. On the flip side, I understand my wife’s complaints about always being connected. If we’re on vacation, and I’m still semi-connected to work then that also means that I’m not fully connected with her when on vacation. I try to minimize this by trying to skim through the e-mails and delete the junk, only responding to what is critical. Another thing that helps me tremendously is having the Blackberry which is synchronized with my work e-mail. I can check e-mail instead of grabbing the newspaper during the “reading breaks”.