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Ministry Within the Seasons
Because a pastor’s schedule, role, and duties differ from other professions, the rhythms of life should differ as well.
Your rhythms will vary based on several things including:
- The stage of development of your ministry. For example, starting a ministry or transitioning a ministry might take more effort than other seasons.
- The age of your kids.
- The focus of your ministry.
I’d suggest that you embrace the season that you are in. (Don’t act like it is summer if it is winter).
Here are a few of the ways I’ve embraced the different seasons.
- In the early years of the church, I worked almost non-stop. Some might think I’m exaggerating, but my wife would tell you I’m not. (She understood and embraced that season as best she could with the promise of a new season
coming.) - Once the church was off-the-ground, I intentionally slowed the pace and arranged my schedule to spend much more time at home with our growing family.
- Instead of multiple short breaks from ministry/church, I’m now taking fewer, but longer and more restful breaks.
- During the first ten years of the church, I didn’t write books or speak at conferences. My sole effort was on building the church.
- In this season, I invest way more time in developing leaders than in the past.
- With six children at home, I limit my travel schedule to about one night out a month.
- Once the kids are older, I look forward to much more international travel.
Are you doing anything that is inconsistent with your season of life and ministry? Please share any seasonal rhythms that work well for you.
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We are in our first year as a church - so it has been a crazy ride. I have tried to think about my family above all - not always done a good job at it.
My kids are both teens, so I try to flex my schedule as much as possible. Whether it be to get off early to drive them somewhere or even work from home if that makes life a little better for the family.
My wife works outside the home and is also involved in the church. That means I need to do stuff around the house to help her. I know in about 4 years when both kids are off to college things will shift gears and I will have a different schedule.
Right now I am trying to care for my family - don’t want to fail because I was too tied up in the church.
Brandon, I feel for you. When I started the church I had two little ones and my wife didn’t work outside the home. You are in a challenging time. I pray you get substantial time with your family before your kids are gone.
I am not in ministry right now but hope to be one day. But this topic still hits home for me. I tend to be a workaholic and I had that brought to my attention by my then 6 year old daughter. She gave me a beautiful fathers day card that had all of my “favorite things”. Daddy’s favorite food, color…and the one that KILLED me was daddy’s favorite thing to do is…WORK. That ripped my heart out!!!
I have since changed jobs and actually have turned down promotions (which is a big deal for me becasue I have always been about the $) because they would impact my family time.
Craig, I just wanted to say how much I identify with your last three posts. I haven’t commented much lately but have really enjoyed “listening” and learning. Thanks for all you do.
Well said Craig…it is so important to discover the season you are in and I think one thing you touched but didn’t really highlight is being in UNITY with your spouse about the seasons. That is so important.
Bill, Man-your six year old daughter’s words were tough. I’m sure that got your attention!
Joseph, Glad these posts are making a difference.
Jason, Good point about your spouse.
I’d LOVE to hear from others of you how you handle different seasons. Please share what you’ve learned (or how you’ve failed) so we can share in your wisdom.
C,
I was talking to my wife just this morning about how (my) ministry has changed. It used to be that I worked my fingers to the bone. I made time for my family true but I was up early, worked all morning in the office, spent the afternoon visiting, would eat supper and then head back out. As I got older I noticed doing the evenings less and less. Then I noticed that I began spending more afternoons in the office. Both our girls are grown and gone, my wife works outside the home, and now I relish the evenings at home. (We like the empty nest) :) But I think it is a combination of both the seasons and the changing of ministry. Times changed. Ministry changed. No, make that the way I did ministry changed. You made me think on this post as you gave me one more reason why my ministry has changed. Thanks.
i know i need to listen more to the man in my life…well, both of them. being sensitive to what the spirit is saying and where he is leading, knowing he’ll provide the strength and grace i need for whatever season…and chris to confirm those things in lining up for god’s plan for the both of us…
Man, you don’t know how much I’ve needed this series of blog posts. It is so helpful. I really like the part about recognizing which season of life you’re in and making the most of it.
My biggest concern in ministry is growing the church without sacrificing my family. I know I can the first without the second but it will take intentional effort on my part.
Thanks for these posts.
Brad Ruggles
http://www.bradruggles.com
Chris and I limit our evening events. The boys are 4 & 9 and it’s just too much to be away from them right now. And if people invite us over, we usually bring the boys. I’m sure there will be a time when they get older where we will do more things on our own. But, while they are young, we are staying put. It’s what is best for their little hearts, souls and minds.
Bill, I love what you said… You changed the way you did ministry. Great stuff.
Anne, way to include both the men in your life!
Brad, You are welcome. Glad this is helpful to your family and church.
Cindy, You and Chris seem to do a great job of effective ministry with appropriate boundaries for your home ministry.
To me it all feels really random right now. Did you really see your life in “seasons” even in the very begining? Or has it only been recently that you have been able to look back and understand the rythms…Maybe I just havn’t spent enough time thinking about it.
Craig,
One of the keys to discovering the ebb and flow of ministry is “Celebrating in Stages and Phases”. Years ago when I was planting a Church one of my mentors told me that I needed to “Celebrate the completion of one thing, before moving on to the next thing”. When we as a Church had completed one project, rather than allowing the Church and myself to celebrate, I was already off and running to the next thing. He told me that it is in the celebrating of the accomplishment of one phase that gives us the strength and endurance for the phase.
This also helps us to stay creative. For example if you are on a diet, instead of saying that you are going to lose 100 pounds in three weeks why not celebrate in ten pound stages ten times (don’t celebrate with cheescake). How do I do this? I spend Sunday afternoons with my five awesome daughters, after a speaking engagement, I do non spiritual things (eat a snack while watching ESPN or a movie). Learn to enjoy the journey by stopping to celebrate what you have accomplished, then move on to the next thing.
I am a full-time student and have been involved in Chi Alpha campus ministry at the University of Alabama (Tuscaloosa) for two years as a student leader. God has called our campus pastors to Thailand for a year, and they have named me the student pastor. I am excited about the opportunity, as I have felt called to ministry since I was eleven and have worked on staff at several churches and ministries around the country.
Our group is very tight-nit but we are only averaging 30 people (and have been for the past 3 years-ish). I know that God wants to reach the other 23,000 people on our campus, so we have to become evangelistic in nature!
Please pray for me as I am going to make some necessary changes (on the developing level) and I need the support of the group behind me.
This is hard for me since my family is a DINK (Double Income No Kids) and I am in the first year of youth ministry. I have erred on the side of my family for the first year but it is hard balancing retreats/camp/conferences/nights away that is almost required of my job. I feel like I need to be doing more but at the same time lead by example to those under me what is healthy (i.e. Choosing to Cheat to quote Stanley).
I know right now I can do more but at the same time I don’t want to set unreal expectations for when I become a father so I have been pretending to organize my schedule as I would if I was in that father season. I don’t see like that is a bad thing to prepare for another season now but I still don’t know.
You definitely gave me something to think about. . .
Craig, You raised a great point about celebrating the seasons.
Blane, Praying for your ministry.
Kenyon, Yes, I really did see life in seasons even from the beginning. (Maybe I’m weird that way.) For some reason, I’ve always been able to make plans for change in the future. I haven’t always hit the target, but anticipating what the next season might hold helps me to prepare my mind and heart for change. It works for me but might not for everyone.
Dan, You are in a challenging season. Praying for you. Glad you are thinking.
3 year old church. Started with 13 and has grown to 1,500 with 3 sites. 9 staff - all of whom are bi-vocational (radio host, farmer, graphic artist, Best Buy salesman, etc). The struggle is managing growth, keeping pace with the needs of people, and maintaining some sense of normalcy at home. We use a rented facility one day each week which, actually, eliminates a lot of stress (upkeep, mortgage, fixing the coffee maker)
All of take a weekend off every 5 weeks. We encourage staff to leave the area and keep their phones off during their time off. No sermon prep, no return calls, nothing.
Another help: we try to replicate ourselves in everything we do by utilizing volunteer labor. Very helpful.
Learning as we go.
This series of posts is so encouraging! I used to be so concerned with achieving perfect balance between home, ministry and work (at the church we pastor). I lived under a cloud of guilt because I always felt like I was failing on one front or another.
Now I try not to compartmentalize my life. I don’t look at all my various roles as hats that I wear. I look at it as a giant wheel with Jesus in the center. I am first and formost His disciple, and everything else I am/do radiates from that core identity. Different seasons of life (mainly driven by the ages of my children and needs of the church) require that I put more energy into one “role” or another –wife, mother, pastor, daughter, friend, etc. I just shift my focus periodically as the Holy Spirit leads. I truly believe that we will never loose what God has entrusted us to steward (our children) by doing what He has placed in our hand to do (ministry) if we walk in His wisdom.
On big bonus about ministry is that it does provide a lot of flexibility. So in seasons where I know I need to do some intense mommy-time, I leave the office early, take off to go to field trips, class parties, etc. I also find that piggy-backing pastoral care -type meetings on services After Sundays or before or after wednesdays) frees up a lot of time because I’m already in the ministry flow!
Craig,
I am preparing to start a new church in the Cincinnati, Ohio area.
My bride and I have four little girls (5, 4, 2, and nine months).
Before this venture I was the senior pastor of an 800+ church. I have a sense of what the seasons look like in that environment.
What I’m not certain of is what the seasons will look like in a new church.
I am doing what I have been called to do and I will do it with all of my might. What I don’t want to do is look back at the early days of this new church with regrets regarding my family (”The Ladies”).
Any pointers?
Thanks!
Paul
Craig,
Your blog has been a huge encouragement to me. I’ve pastored in two seperate churches with the last one a rather difficult experience. I actually resigned and started truck driving! I thought I was done with ministry!
After a couple of years, I found my heart was for the Church. I want to see the Universal Church succeed. I started my own ministry, while working as school bus driver to support my family. A choice I made and don’t regret. That was a couple of months ago. Since then I’ve had numerous talks with pastors/leaders who wrestle daily with the contents of you last few posts. I always felt it, but I now see the impact ministry can have on pastors.
I have no idea where my ministry will go, but I am looking forward to the journey. This time, I can control the impact on my family. Family first.
Again, thanks for you blog. It’s always good stuff.
We’re in a very different season than most individuals our age (42 and soon to be 40). We joined our family of five with my parents due to my daddy’s health in 2005. In 06, his health declined so much that I stepped down from the staff position I had at another ministry in order to be his primary caregiver. Hubby was the night caregiver. He passed on in Nov 06 and in March of 07 - my mother decided to start dating. She’s 65. She has a steady boyfriend who is also a part of our church. I’m on staff - hubby is an intern while still finishing seminary. Our oldest son (16) is a part of the technology team. My parents were already heavily involved where we’re at. It was just a given we would be as well since we did and still do almost all the driving. Life is definitely an adventure!
Darrin, Amazing growth! I pray God continues to bless your new church!
Kerri, Thanks for your wisdom. Good stuff.
Geoff, Congrats on your ministry!
Camey, Wow… I pray God sustains you all.
Paul, Here are some thoughts:
Try to design your church leadership schedule around your family’s time and values. If you don’t like evening meetings, do a bunch of breakfasts and lunches.
Don’t try to start things you won’t want to be doing five years from now. Once your kids are a bit older, you will be much busier with their activities.
Take time off! Most guys think they can’t be away from their new churches. Your church will be better if you are rested and your family is strong.
Take good care of your wife. Get her whatever she needs and don’t shut yourself off emotionally because of the church. Continue to nurture your marriage.
Blessings to you!
Craig, I totally agree with what you’re saying. Until recently I was on a staff of a very large church, where others could “cover” for you when you were in a slower ministry season (in 2006, we had boy #3 and in 2007 we had boy #4 and so other staff picked up the slack.)
Last weekend, we launched a new church in Peoria Illinois and here’s my dilemma:
The season that the church is in demands lots of work. But the season my family is in also requires a lot of work. (did I mention 4 boys ages 7 & under?)
I have a great team that’s planting the church…and I think I’m doing okay… except for the GUILT.
So let’s say I do it all right…navigating the seasons of life well…how do I turn off the VOICE that says I’m not doing enough (in either place!)
Charles asked, “How do I turn off the VOICE that says I’m not doing enough?” He is referring to ministry and home…
Can anyone help him?
The only i answer i would have for Charles is surrounding yourself with people that tell you the truth. The truth is you’re working your buns off and God honors that. The truth is God doesn’t want you sacrificing your marriage and family for a church. It’s God’s church, he’ll take care of it and while it may not look like you think it should, it will look like He wants it to. (His timing is perfect)! —note to self, remember i said that!
This blog comes at a great time in my(our-husband)life. God just brought him into a full-time ministry with young adults less than a year ago after about 2 years of feeling drawn in that direction. We have 4 small children and I homeschool. I guess I have more of a question for your wife, knowing she homeschools (according to your book I read), What is life like for her being a wife, mom, and in ministry? This season of our life is tough, but I don’t want to make it harder than it is. I would love some wisdom and insight.
Craig,
The first time I met you we had a conversation about travel and time away from family. I told you that I had just spent 18 nights on the road away from my wife that past month. You said that you made a covenant with Amy that you’d only be gone 20 nights a year. I remember thinking, “man…I just met this guy and he’s hitting me hard!” I appreciate you sticking to your guns even when your schedule is more demanding now than it was over 6 years ago.
Really appreciate your leadership to our staff in putting your family first. It’s nice to have THAT example trickle down.
Craig,
I am about to embark on a new season in my ministry (moving from associate pastor on large church staff to solo pastor at a different church). It looks like I will need to put a TON of effort and energy into transitioning the new church during my first 12-18 months there. Any thoughts on ways to avoid having all my time sucked away from my family as I begin to lead this congregation?
Craig,
This may be the wrong question to ask…
“How much is enough?”
Ex. Enough time with family, enough time for vacations,
enough time with other leaders, etc.
I continually feel like I’m pulled between two separate entities (1. family, and 2. church) I know I need time for my marriage. I know I need time for work hard. I know I need time to play hard.
“How much is enough?”
For instance: At what point do you truly believe that you have done enough–in season–for your family? I think it safe to say that you wouldn’t have written a book on relationships if you didn’t take great confidence in your own.
Please, I’m not looking for some “minimum requirement”. I’m looking for the maximum return on time well spent. I want to be my best at being unbalanced.
Thank you for your response!