Signs of Immaturity 3 (of 4)
Invincible
I used to believe I could do it all. Long grueling hours were the norm. I’d neglect my family in the name of “good ministry.” Even though I’d never admit it at the time, I believed I was invincible.
For years, older and wiser pastors offered advice to make sure I didn’t burn out. In my mind, they were just old and lazy. Because of my defensiveness and unwillingness to listen, I had to learn too many lessons the hard way.
Jesus rested for long periods of time. He experienced deep, spiritual rest. Why would I think that I don’t need that kind of rest?
Some of you are pushing it way too hard. You are ministering with your strength and according to your schedule and not by the rhythms and Spirit of God.
You are not invincible.
What are you doing to stay spiritually, physically, and emotionally healthy?
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Craig, I have friends I fear will learn the truth of this the hard way. I have endured the consequences of living what many would call an unhealthy, ministry-centric life. And I was not even a staff member!
A devotion to Kingdom service is admirable; golden calf-making is not. It has been a years-long process to get me to the place where I can readily (and prayerfully) say no.
For those of us committed to advancing the Gospel, what we have committed to is a marathon - not a sprint.
What am I doing to stay healthy? I am trying [struggling] to not let my quiet time with God be affected by my “schedule demands.” It seems when that goes…it all falls apart. It is no coincidence that when my time with Him is neglected then my focus at work is off, my marriage isn’t as nurtured and my time is divided into all the wrong places. I KNOW my immaturity gives me an I-Can-Tackle-This-Invincible attitude… when in reality God has had to break me lately to show me how little I can actually do on my own. I can already look back on my short ride in ministry and marriage- my most effective and healthy times are when I give Him prime time. And yet I still struggle?!
I have to remind myself that I am not “that important”. I have been guilty before of pushing too hard, and this is something that I have been trying to cut back on.
One thing that I have begun this year is about once a month I am taking a media fast. This allows me to turn off everything that is demanding my time, so that I can sit and spend hours with God reading, praying, and listening. When I do this I realize I am not invincible!
John, I wonder if your friends who are vulnerable to these problems will listen to you…
Amanda, I am glad you recognize the struggle and what happens when you abandon your time with God. Recognizing it is a big step to overcoming it.
Adam, What a valuable lesson (and hard to learn)!
Time is my best friend and worst enemy…so…I try and disconnect 100% at least two nights a week to completely focus on refreshing and relaxing…Disconnecting two nights a week doesn’t mean that I am plugged in the remaining five nights. It means that I’m flexible on those other nights should anything urgent appear. By adapting this rule, it means I have the freedom to go about my evenings with the intent of being unplugged, but I also have the flexibility to minister or serve if and when the situation calls for it.
Being healthier is my goal for 2008 -
Spiritually - time in the Word and prayer (vital)
Physically - exercise and eating well (stress relief & prevention)
Emotionally - strengthening relationships and being mentally challenged (keeping my heart and mind on target)
It’s amazing how keeping myself healthy allows me to serve Him much better!!
*I am up early reading the 3B’s: Books, Bible, and Blogs.
*I write to get all of the thoughts out of my head.
*I go to the Gym 3 times a week.
I need to do better with taking intentional time-off and totally checking-out and disconnecting.
I am not invincible!
Daily Time Reading God’s Word, Praying & Listening to God
Last night I took off early from the church office & my kids and I made dinner for MOMMY! It was a blast!
Weekly day off
Monthly Spiritual Retreats
Trying to exercise
Thanks for these posts!
Brad Martin
Anne, I guess last night wasn’t an unplugged night since you were emailing me!
Libby, Great goals!
Scott, Good stuff! Way to go!
Brad, You’re welcome. I’d love to hear more about your monthly spiritual retreats!
This is something I have struggled with a lot!
I am by nature “willful”…
I use to think I could get the “advantage” while everyone else was resting… but I have learned that God can do more with less!!!!
Now I have intentionally made time for rest:
#1 a family night, every Friday, we get junk food and watch movies…(we have four kids)
#2 Saturdays are family day, and Saturday night is just myself and the wife… no exceptions
We do date night at least twice a month, and try to get together with friend once every couple of months.
In the past I would neglect “rest”, and play with my family… and it fell apart, but God has been gracious and taught me that rest is necessary…
This means saying no to good things sometimes as well, for what is the best thing!
From time to time I still struggle, but we are taking a hard stand on this, and intentionally “playing”…( boy that sounds funny…)
I get weary anytime I’m away from God’s Word for very long… I know it’s weird, to some, but getting up very early in the morning and spending time with the Lord has profound benefits to my entire day. When I miss this time, and try to play ‘catch-up’ later, I find myself sluggish, irritable & kind of lethargic. Face it, we’re busy & in demand, and the person who runs from God in the morning rarely finds Him during the day.
So, I attempt to live by a simple thought: “Make prayer your life, and the ministry will take care of itself.”
Feeling invincible? Guilty as charged. I’ve come to a place of burnout a number of times. It was mostly because of pride. I wanted to prove I was capable and also believed I could do it better than someone else. OUCH. Talk about a leadership lid. Now I try to give away ministry. I have regular times of solitude. I read my bible and pray for my own well being. I workout four times a week. My family expects me home almost every night of the week (with seasons of exceptions). I still eat too much Mexican food…with cheese and salsa…and chips…I’m hungry :).
I have really been dealing with this issue. I recently moved churches and they are putting a lot of pressure on several projects I walked into. Two weeks ago a line in an Arcade Fire song hit me like a ton of bricks, “Working for the church while your family dies.” I felt so convicted of my schedule. My wife and I discussed it and started to look at my schedule.
I have started discussing future scheduling with my wife, excercising with some people in my small group, and setting aside an hour a day for my devotions. It is hard to keep the schedule, but saying no is allowing me to have margin in my life to spend quality time with family and friends.
Bible Study, journaling prayers, reading, working out in weight room, and hanging out with my family.
I take frequent trips and time off. I take every monday off. No phone, no computer…and just my golf clubs. Every year I take a surf-sabatical. I go away for a week or so and just surf. It is very refreshing. I always come back charged.
- a date with my wife regularly
- dinner with the whole family at the same table each evening
- put my iphone away when I come home
If I’m going to stay late at church, I come in late. If I have a big event I’m getting ready for and I’m working 60-80 hours that week, the next week, I’m in the office for 10-15 hours.
I’m lucky to have a pastor that lets me do this.
I’ve committed to the following…reading the Bible and praying everyday, exercising 6 days a week, sleeping at least 7 hours a night, having a Sabbath day once a week, and watching a movie or playing a board game with the kids every Friday.
I used to spend one day a month in solitude with God. I haven’t done that lately, but I’m looking forward to starting that up again.
Irving Bible Church has a great resource if you’re celebrating Lent. ibclent.com
For awhile I was getting up at 5 AM to pray. I need to start that again…
Great suggestions from everyone! I am working on “being all there” in my morning devotions and with my family. For me it means turning off my computer and cell phone so that I can focus. Not easy to do on some days, but I’m improving!
I believe the lie that because I’m single and live alone I can stay at work all night… but this is not healthy! Nor is it a smart habit to make… I need to be better at leaving when it’s time to go home!
I hear you Anna. I’m the same way. I tell myself I’m gonna leave..then 6 hours later I’m falling asleep at my keyboard. It doesn’t help that I live where I work. I walk outside then in to the other building in less than 3 minutes. I find it really hard to disconnect sometimes.
I work hard (no pun) to take a true rest day.
I date my wife.
I have relationships that aren’t ministry related, where I don’t need to be the “god guy”.
I pray and do my best to meet with God daily.
I exercise.
I do not work more than 45-50 hours a week and if I do I comp the time over that from the next month.
Lately, I have been reading Ron Martiia’s “Velocity Culture” blog. In it he has been talking about patterns for healthy spirituality. I would have to say the one that had the biggest impact on me had to do with carving out time for “quiet”.
He says, “In an external world of increasing noise creating an internal world of increasing quiet may be one of the premium patterns we need to learn.”
I have been challanged to find ways to develop that pattern in my life.