Comments on: Signs of Immaturity 2 (of 4) http://swerve.lifechurch.tv/2008/02/05/signs-of-immaturity-2-of-4/ a leadership, technology, and innovation blog for pastors and church leaders Tue, 16 Mar 2010 08:59:51 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7 hourly 1 By: Jake Miller http://swerve.lifechurch.tv/2008/02/05/signs-of-immaturity-2-of-4/comment-page-1/#comment-110726 Jake Miller Sun, 10 Feb 2008 00:38:51 +0000 http://swerve.lifechurch.tv/2008/02/05/signs-of-immaturity-2-of-4/#comment-110726 craig... this post was so timely for me. i tend to get defensive with the people who are closest to me, and they are the ones i need to be listening to the most. i really needed to be reminded of this. thanks. craig… this post was so timely for me. i tend to get defensive with the people who are closest to me, and they are the ones i need to be listening to the most. i really needed to be reminded of this. thanks.

]]> By: scott beasley http://swerve.lifechurch.tv/2008/02/05/signs-of-immaturity-2-of-4/comment-page-1/#comment-109270 scott beasley Thu, 07 Feb 2008 00:22:29 +0000 http://swerve.lifechurch.tv/2008/02/05/signs-of-immaturity-2-of-4/#comment-109270 Defensiveness is usually the indicator of a possible lack of humility, which should be the focus. Some people need to be shown the door, but Spirit-filled believers will do it in a kind way (Gal.5:22-23). Concentrate on cultivating a humble heart, then you will only defend what needs to be defended! Defensiveness is usually the indicator of a possible lack of humility, which should be the focus. Some people need to be shown the door, but Spirit-filled believers will do it in a kind way (Gal.5:22-23). Concentrate on cultivating a humble heart, then you will only defend what needs to be defended!

]]> By: Ronnie http://swerve.lifechurch.tv/2008/02/05/signs-of-immaturity-2-of-4/comment-page-1/#comment-108653 Ronnie Wed, 06 Feb 2008 01:57:37 +0000 http://swerve.lifechurch.tv/2008/02/05/signs-of-immaturity-2-of-4/#comment-108653 Me,I'm just defensive about me. WOW! that's eye opening! Thanks Me,I’m just defensive about me. WOW! that’s eye opening! Thanks

]]> By: Bill http://swerve.lifechurch.tv/2008/02/05/signs-of-immaturity-2-of-4/comment-page-1/#comment-108574 Bill Tue, 05 Feb 2008 23:06:40 +0000 http://swerve.lifechurch.tv/2008/02/05/signs-of-immaturity-2-of-4/#comment-108574 Isn't it funny (not ha-ha funny) how so many pastors hide behind the "touch not the Lord's anointed" Scripture when it has nothing to do with us anyway? We don't like what someone tells us so we "run" to that Scripture. Just ask me how it is done. I have a history with that one. Isn’t it funny (not ha-ha funny) how so many pastors hide behind the “touch not the Lord’s anointed” Scripture when it has nothing to do with us anyway? We don’t like what someone tells us so we “run” to that Scripture. Just ask me how it is done. I have a history with that one.

]]> By: Terrace Crawford http://swerve.lifechurch.tv/2008/02/05/signs-of-immaturity-2-of-4/comment-page-1/#comment-108544 Terrace Crawford Tue, 05 Feb 2008 21:58:00 +0000 http://swerve.lifechurch.tv/2008/02/05/signs-of-immaturity-2-of-4/#comment-108544 Craig, man... the questions are so good. Wow, I can so relate to you. I pray I accept it well. Craig, man… the questions are so good. Wow, I can so relate to you. I pray I accept it well.

]]> By: Chilly... http://swerve.lifechurch.tv/2008/02/05/signs-of-immaturity-2-of-4/comment-page-1/#comment-108535 Chilly... Tue, 05 Feb 2008 21:42:52 +0000 http://swerve.lifechurch.tv/2008/02/05/signs-of-immaturity-2-of-4/#comment-108535 Man, you can hammer me about anything, personally or ministry, I'm a glutton for punishment and usually keep a pretty good perspective. But I get a little edgy if you criticize or question me about my wife/family. You know those that may say, "what's your wife do around here?" or "you're screwing up your kids by homeschooling them" etc, etc... I sometimes have to count beyond 10. Man, you can hammer me about anything, personally or ministry, I’m a glutton for punishment and usually keep a pretty good perspective. But I get a little edgy if you criticize or question me about my wife/family. You know those that may say, “what’s your wife do around here?” or “you’re screwing up your kids by homeschooling them” etc, etc… I sometimes have to count beyond 10.

]]> By: Larry http://swerve.lifechurch.tv/2008/02/05/signs-of-immaturity-2-of-4/comment-page-1/#comment-108520 Larry Tue, 05 Feb 2008 21:18:42 +0000 http://swerve.lifechurch.tv/2008/02/05/signs-of-immaturity-2-of-4/#comment-108520 I get overly defensive when I don't know something. I find myself feeling like I need to know it all! I'm learing though so there's hope. :) I get overly defensive when I don’t know something. I find myself feeling like I need to know it all! I’m learing though so there’s hope. :)

]]> By: Jeremy http://swerve.lifechurch.tv/2008/02/05/signs-of-immaturity-2-of-4/comment-page-1/#comment-108495 Jeremy Tue, 05 Feb 2008 20:23:13 +0000 http://swerve.lifechurch.tv/2008/02/05/signs-of-immaturity-2-of-4/#comment-108495 I have a tendency to be defensive with the people who I said I wouldn't get defensive with. I especially tend to get defensive with people who think they know it all, because sometimes I think I do. I have a tendency to be defensive with the people who I said I wouldn’t get defensive with. I especially tend to get defensive with people who think they know it all, because sometimes I think I do.

]]> By: Brad Ruggles http://swerve.lifechurch.tv/2008/02/05/signs-of-immaturity-2-of-4/comment-page-1/#comment-108485 Brad Ruggles Tue, 05 Feb 2008 20:05:44 +0000 http://swerve.lifechurch.tv/2008/02/05/signs-of-immaturity-2-of-4/#comment-108485 Yeah, that's a tough one. I think our natural reaction is to defend ourselves and our ideas. I think learning to listen and learn from criticism is hard to do. Once we can break out of our narrow mindset we begin to see things from other people's point of view...even if they are not able to clearly or kindly articulate it. I'm still working on this one! <B>Brad Ruggles</B> www.bradruggles.com Yeah, that’s a tough one. I think our natural reaction is to defend ourselves and our ideas. I think learning to listen and learn from criticism is hard to do. Once we can break out of our narrow mindset we begin to see things from other people’s point of view…even if they are not able to clearly or kindly articulate it.

I’m still working on this one!

Brad Ruggles
http://www.bradruggles.com

]]> By: Cindy Beall http://swerve.lifechurch.tv/2008/02/05/signs-of-immaturity-2-of-4/comment-page-1/#comment-108467 Cindy Beall Tue, 05 Feb 2008 19:33:19 +0000 http://swerve.lifechurch.tv/2008/02/05/signs-of-immaturity-2-of-4/#comment-108467 I am mostly defensive with Chris. I'm convinced this is due to the fact that he knows me better than anyone. He's all up in my "bidness" and sometimes that just stinks. I am working on this EVERY SINGLE SOLITARY DAY, though. He also happens to love me the most...why wouldn't I expect him to want the best for me? Geez. Signed, The Forever Student I am mostly defensive with Chris. I’m convinced this is due to the fact that he knows me better than anyone. He’s all up in my “bidness” and sometimes that just stinks. I am working on this EVERY SINGLE SOLITARY DAY, though. He also happens to love me the most…why wouldn’t I expect him to want the best for me? Geez.

Signed,
The Forever Student

]]> By: Kerri http://swerve.lifechurch.tv/2008/02/05/signs-of-immaturity-2-of-4/comment-page-1/#comment-108440 Kerri Tue, 05 Feb 2008 18:12:24 +0000 http://swerve.lifechurch.tv/2008/02/05/signs-of-immaturity-2-of-4/#comment-108440 This is a great series. I am usually not defensive when people criticize me. That's easy to accept b/c I know my own faults and I know when someone is pointing out something valid or when I've simply been misunderstood.What really makes me defensive is when people criticize the church. It's easy to receive when I know it's coming from someone who loves and cares about us and the church, but random comments and anonymous emails just tick me off! I try not engage it, but I often fail. This is a great series. I am usually not defensive when people criticize me. That’s easy to accept b/c I know my own faults and I know when someone is pointing out something valid or when I’ve simply been misunderstood.What really makes me defensive is when people criticize the church. It’s easy to receive when I know it’s coming from someone who loves and cares about us and the church, but random comments and anonymous emails just tick me off! I try not engage it, but I often fail.

]]> By: Brandon Donaldson http://swerve.lifechurch.tv/2008/02/05/signs-of-immaturity-2-of-4/comment-page-1/#comment-108439 Brandon Donaldson Tue, 05 Feb 2008 18:10:44 +0000 http://swerve.lifechurch.tv/2008/02/05/signs-of-immaturity-2-of-4/#comment-108439 I used to pride myself in being really good at taking critique, even the really tough stuff. I now realize that was just a front to being insecure in my leadership. Most of the time what feels like an attack on my leadership is in reality a critique from people who are trying to affirm and strengthen the leadership potential they see. Comparison can also take us down the wrong path! I used to pride myself in being really good at taking critique, even the really tough stuff. I now realize that was just a front to being insecure in my leadership.
Most of the time what feels like an attack on my leadership is in reality a critique from people who are trying to affirm and strengthen the leadership potential they see.

Comparison can also take us down the wrong path!

]]> By: Kendra G http://swerve.lifechurch.tv/2008/02/05/signs-of-immaturity-2-of-4/comment-page-1/#comment-108437 Kendra G Tue, 05 Feb 2008 18:08:22 +0000 http://swerve.lifechurch.tv/2008/02/05/signs-of-immaturity-2-of-4/#comment-108437 I just spent an hour responding to a string of challenging questions about the curriculum I write (KONNECT) by someone who serves in it. I enjoyed responding to him because, like Scott, I love it. I take it as a compliment that someone else gives a rip about what I'm doing enough to take the time to debate it. Unfortunately, I can be quick to determine the other person just doesn't know what they're talking about and dismiss them. That's why I value comments from guys like the one today. He's in the room with the kids every week so his opinion is valid no matter what. I just spent an hour responding to a string of challenging questions about the curriculum I write (KONNECT) by someone who serves in it. I enjoyed responding to him because, like Scott, I love it. I take it as a compliment that someone else gives a rip about what I’m doing enough to take the time to debate it.

Unfortunately, I can be quick to determine the other person just doesn’t know what they’re talking about and dismiss them. That’s why I value comments from guys like the one today. He’s in the room with the kids every week so his opinion is valid no matter what.

]]> By: Scott Williams http://swerve.lifechurch.tv/2008/02/05/signs-of-immaturity-2-of-4/comment-page-1/#comment-108419 Scott Williams Tue, 05 Feb 2008 17:33:22 +0000 http://swerve.lifechurch.tv/2008/02/05/signs-of-immaturity-2-of-4/#comment-108419 Craig, I agree with you that it is sometimes easy to get defensive with our spouses. Generally when I think about feedback my wife has given me, she is right on the money, she knows me best. I enjoy constructive or even negative feedback; I think that it's my love language. :-) It allows me to ask the question "What If" what they are saying is true, good, right, wrong, helpful..." Craig, I agree with you that it is sometimes easy to get defensive with our spouses. Generally when I think about feedback my wife has given me, she is right on the money, she knows me best.

I enjoy constructive or even negative feedback; I think that it’s my love language. :-) It allows me to ask the question “What If” what they are saying is true, good, right, wrong, helpful…”

]]> By: mike foster http://swerve.lifechurch.tv/2008/02/05/signs-of-immaturity-2-of-4/comment-page-1/#comment-108417 mike foster Tue, 05 Feb 2008 17:16:08 +0000 http://swerve.lifechurch.tv/2008/02/05/signs-of-immaturity-2-of-4/#comment-108417 my biggest challenge on this is to listen and not speak until the critique is done...i think leadership roles are probably wired up for an "extra" dose of critiquing and when things go wrong/ people want to talk to the person in charge.i know i have to work really hard at overcoming my hardwiring to respond in defense or have some brilliant comeback of why they are wrong. i think im getting better at this each year, though still after all this time i still have to internally "coach" my mind and emotions in the moment to love, listen, and to be about the solution. and not be overly sensitive to it. mike. my biggest challenge on this is to listen and not speak until the critique is done…i think leadership roles are probably wired up for an “extra” dose of critiquing and when things go wrong/ people want to talk to the person in charge.i know i have to work really hard at overcoming my hardwiring to respond in defense or have some brilliant comeback of why they are wrong. i think im getting better at this each year, though still after all this time i still have to internally “coach” my mind and emotions in the moment to love, listen, and to be about the solution. and not be overly sensitive to it.

mike.

]]> By: Chris Chowdhury http://swerve.lifechurch.tv/2008/02/05/signs-of-immaturity-2-of-4/comment-page-1/#comment-108404 Chris Chowdhury Tue, 05 Feb 2008 16:44:51 +0000 http://swerve.lifechurch.tv/2008/02/05/signs-of-immaturity-2-of-4/#comment-108404 Thanks so much for this series. I've been burned by this one. When it comes down to it, I often struggle to believe in God's calling on my life. Therefore, I have to PROVE it to myself and others rather than simply trusting God when I'm wrong and when I'm right. Thanks so much for this series. I’ve been burned by this one. When it comes down to it, I often struggle to believe in God’s calling on my life. Therefore, I have to PROVE it to myself and others rather than simply trusting God when I’m wrong and when I’m right.

]]> By: jon http://swerve.lifechurch.tv/2008/02/05/signs-of-immaturity-2-of-4/comment-page-1/#comment-108399 jon Tue, 05 Feb 2008 16:42:12 +0000 http://swerve.lifechurch.tv/2008/02/05/signs-of-immaturity-2-of-4/#comment-108399 great post! a lot of times the first two signs go hand in hand. knowing it all and being confronted in any way, can cause us to go on the defensive immediately. but realizing we don't know it all, helps us be less defensive and open to what others have to say...even if there is no validity to what they are saying. great post!

a lot of times the first two signs go hand in hand. knowing it all and being confronted in any way, can cause us to go on the defensive immediately. but realizing we don’t know it all, helps us be less defensive and open to what others have to say…even if there is no validity to what they are saying.

]]> By: Nathan Gagne http://swerve.lifechurch.tv/2008/02/05/signs-of-immaturity-2-of-4/comment-page-1/#comment-108395 Nathan Gagne Tue, 05 Feb 2008 16:37:22 +0000 http://swerve.lifechurch.tv/2008/02/05/signs-of-immaturity-2-of-4/#comment-108395 This blog helped me formalize thoughts I've been having. My wife wants me to "stick up for myself" when our senior pastor is being critical of me or some random detail of the youth ministry. I've been trying to explain to her, unsuccesfully, why I won't (not cause I'm scared or I let people walk all over me). Now after reading this I know why I don't feel the need to defend myself and that is because I'm not defensive. I don't need to defend every little action I take, or every little misunderstanding. I don't need to be defensive. In fact, most of the time, I did blow it, just not how he says I did. This blog helped me formalize thoughts I’ve been having. My wife wants me to “stick up for myself” when our senior pastor is being critical of me or some random detail of the youth ministry. I’ve been trying to explain to her, unsuccesfully, why I won’t (not cause I’m scared or I let people walk all over me). Now after reading this I know why I don’t feel the need to defend myself and that is because I’m not defensive. I don’t need to defend every little action I take, or every little misunderstanding. I don’t need to be defensive. In fact, most of the time, I did blow it, just not how he says I did.

]]> By: Craig Groeschel http://swerve.lifechurch.tv/2008/02/05/signs-of-immaturity-2-of-4/comment-page-1/#comment-108385 Craig Groeschel Tue, 05 Feb 2008 16:30:17 +0000 http://swerve.lifechurch.tv/2008/02/05/signs-of-immaturity-2-of-4/#comment-108385 Stephen, I am guessing that you are joking (maybe not) about listening to your wife. I have noticed that I can be especially defensive when Amy offers constructive criticism. I've found, though, that she is more honest with me than virtually anyone. Our spouses can be one of our greatest sources of sound advice. Stephen, I am guessing that you are joking (maybe not) about listening to your wife.

I have noticed that I can be especially defensive when Amy offers constructive criticism. I’ve found, though, that she is more honest with me than virtually anyone. Our spouses can be one of our greatest sources of sound advice.

]]> By: John Ireland http://swerve.lifechurch.tv/2008/02/05/signs-of-immaturity-2-of-4/comment-page-1/#comment-108384 John Ireland Tue, 05 Feb 2008 16:27:43 +0000 http://swerve.lifechurch.tv/2008/02/05/signs-of-immaturity-2-of-4/#comment-108384 As someone who has had the gift to sit under great teaching at Asbury Seminary, I can sometimes get defensive with those who question the validity/benefit of a seminary education. As someone who has had the gift to sit under great teaching at Asbury Seminary, I can sometimes get defensive with those who question the validity/benefit of a seminary education.

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