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40 Lessons from a 40-Year-Old Pastor (#31–#40)
Here are the final 10 things I wish someone would have told me when I was 20.
- Talk about Jesus every time you preach.
- Be careful what you say. You’re being watched (and recorded).
- Don’t return emails when you’re angry.
- Check to make sure your microphone is turned off before you use the bathroom. Double-check.
- Check to make sure your zipper is zipped every time before you preach. Double-check.
- Love your wife more than you love the church. The church is Jesus’ bride, not yours.
- Always be caught speaking well of others.
- Compliment, encourage, and build up your staff and volunteers.
- Hand write thank you notes.
- Smile and look people in the eyes when you talk to them.
What would you like to add? What is something you’ve recently learned?
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Learned #34 the hard way!
#39 Hand written notes are well worth the time!
Don’t compare ministries!
the church is Gods wife is big!
at times i cheat on my wife for HIS!!
profound this morning!!
How about…research says 10-15% of people will NOT like you regardless of what you do…So get the “HOOK” out on the “song and dance” of trying to have everyone like you.
As my Uncle Charlie (who is a true Italian from the Brox) says…FAAhrGET about it!
Definitely don’t respond to emails, or any other type of communication, when you’re angry. Done it. Not good. Now, I rarely do it.
These are so good Craig…
I would add:
Be sure that what you are living for, is worth Christ dying for…
Put yesterday behind you, learn from it, but don’t hold on to it, its already gone…find the grace to change your tommorrow, not your yesterday…
and I would reiterate this one :
Talk about Jesus every time you preach.
Handwriting thank you notes is such a blessing to the recipient. When I first became a Christian my mentor asked me what skills or abilities I had to glorify Christ. I responded that I was somewhat gifted in writing but ‘how could that possibly glorify Christ?’ She answered ‘Start by giving notes of thanks and encouragement to people who touch you.’ Having only been a Christian for several months, I was a little shy to do this because all those who had touched me were lifetime Christians. How could “I” possibly encourage them. One day, a woman I look up to stopped me in the Sanctuary before the service to tell me that the note I had given her had blessed her so much that she keeps it in her bible. I was so moved that He used me that way. It was the beginning of a blessing that has helped me to advance His Kingdom. Yes, please write people thank you notes. Everyone needs encouragement.
Craig thanks for these 40 things we should have learned at 20. They were so simple and yet so profound. I guess it really is a gift to use words minimally and yet so profoundly. Today I particularly connected with 36 through 39 as I have found them to be absolutely indispensible to my wellbeing and sanity.
The check your zipper tip is a good one. I always check, double check, and then during the opening prayer get one last check in.
Bless you heart!
Thank you for being the example in all these things.
Hand written notes are such a bonus…I love giving them as well as getting them!!
#31 and #36, big time…
If it is not about Jesus, even during a message taken from OT, what is the point?
The truth of #36 came in high-def (so to speak) for me shortly before my wedding last year. My relationship with Christ is the only one that should take precedence over the relationship with my wife.
Thanks so much for these, Craig! How about a .pdf version with all 40?:)
Great stuff,
I would add be yourself (who God wants you to be) not what people
Be real
A couple of hard lesssons learned the hard way.
1. Learn to say no when it’s the right answer, even when it relationally stings.
2. It’s impossible to lead well if you’re not in the Word all the time. I’ve failed here before and it never turns out well.
3. Learn from those who have gone before you. No since making their mistakes again.
This one may be your best Craig!
“Love your wife more than you love the church. The church is Jesus’ bride, not yours.”
#2 reminds me of a quote I learned from a traveling evangelist. It goes:
“Pastors must always live in the glass houses their words have built.” - Tommy Oaks
#36 - I had to lay down my dream job for my wife several years ago (she was battling some health issues at the time). God told me “If you can’t take care of your own bride, how can I trust you with mine?”
Great stuff. My favorites are 10, 18, 20, and 26. I will be turning 30 in March so I hope to keep all of these lessons with me. By the way, Happy Birthday.
Hand written notes. Oh, those hand written notes. I do a lot of duck hunting, and most of it is on private ground.
A few years ago, on the last day of the season, I found this place that just had ducks pouring into it all morning.
So the next year, I called the landowner up before opening weekend and asked if I could go hunting. He warned me not to shoot toward his cattle and not to tear up his fence and not to drive in his pasture, and finally, after about five minutes of warnings, cautiously allowed me permission.
After the hunt, I sent him a thank you card.
A week later, I called him up to ask if I could go again. He openly allowed me to go and asked me to stop by his house after the hunt. When I did, he showed me six more places that he had that I could hunt on. All because I wrote him a thank you card!
I do have one to add to you list, Craig: “Call people by name.” It makes all the difference in the world.
Thanks Craig. As a twenty-something trying to do ministry, hearing these things from guys who have gone before me really helps and encourages me. I wished more pastors and leaders would invest in young guys coming up, because we really do need the help, and I think it is also very helpful for the ones giving the advice.
Thanks again.
I really agree with talking about Jesus every time you speak. That is where the life changing power lies.
[...] December 6, 2007 My Bride Posted by Spencer under marriage, quoting Craig Groeschel has been writing a couple blogs on the 40 things he wishes someone would have told him when he was just starting into ministry. (You can read the segments of his list here, here, here, and here…) [...]
I have really enjoyed the 40 things at 40. I am a 28-year old church planter and all of those things are speaking into my life. Much needed! Thanks! Happy Birthday from one December baby to another!
Thank you to all of you for your comments. I’m enjoying hearing what speaks to you as well as the wisdom you are sharing.
I’m sorry I haven’t been able to comment much this week. We’re in the middle of our annual all-staff event.
Thanks again for participating!
“Hand write thank you notes.” This brings me back to the times I would hand write my mom letters and then mail them to her even though we lived in the same house. These lessons are really great and I’m going to print them off so I can look at them every so often. Thanks Pastor Craig.
I’ve learned that by preparing hard to lead worship, then letting go of everything (say Saturday night)…allows room for the Spirit to move. I finally found a good balance between planning and following the Spirit. The more prepared I am, the more I’m able to be led by the spirit while leading worship.
Thanks for all your ideas Craig. You inspire me.
#37 Always be caught speaking well of others
This is something I am working diligently on. If I am honest with myself I don’t always speak well of others and it is something I repent to the Lord of frequently in my quiet time. I am learning to let the Holy Spirit convict me when I start talking badly of others and more than that I’m learning to respond by shutting up
I’ll add one: A firm handshake makes a huge first impression!
Happy Birthday Pastor Craig. You and those you lead are making a huge difference in the lives of others.
I love hand written “thank you” notes…and hand written “get well” notes
[...] The most important thing in the world for me isn’t the church, my job (or lack thereof), or whomever I try to impress on this blog. When I stand before God his first question isn’t going to be how good of a job did I do Pastoring a church. My first responsibility before God is how good of a job did I do being a loving husband and father. To borrow a quote from Craig Groeschel, “Love your wife more than you love the church. The church is Jesus’ bride, not yours.” (from 40 Lessons from a 40-year-old Pastor) [...]
[...] http://swerve.lifechurch.tv/2007/12/06/40-lessons-from-a-40-year-old-pastor-4 Published in: [...]