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40 Lessons from a 40-Year-Old Pastor (#21–#30)
Here are the next 10 things I wish someone would have told me when I was 20.
- When you have a tough decision to make, but you know it’s right, make it immediately. (Like pulling off a Band-Aid: do it fast, and all at once.)
- Hire slowly. Fire quickly.
- You can’t change people. Only God can.
- Don’t criticize others’ ministries. Yours isn’t nearly as perfect as you think it is.
- Take care of yourself. Eat right. Rest. Exercise. Take time off. No one else can do that for you.
- If you don’t take much time off, it’s because you’re proud, and you think you’re more necessary than you really are.
- Don’t just delegate responsibility. Delegate authority.
- Laugh frequently.
- People will leave your church. People you love and trust will leave your church. Don’t take it personally.
- When you suffer and hurt because of ministry, worship Jesus all the more.
Can you relate to any of these?
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Happy Birthday…I just celebrated my 30th, I thought I was old
“Laugh Frequently” reminds me of Jimmy Valvano’s speech in 1993. He was dying and he said do 3 things everyday; laugh, think, and stir your emotions.
I got the laughing and crying thing down. Just need to work on the “think before you laugh” sometimes.
Awesome list, I love reading it.
#24 & 28.
What I learned is we are all on the same team so quit competing against each other.
#21…When you have a tough decision to make, but you know it’s right, make it immediately. (Like pulling off a Band-Aid: do it fast, and all at once.)
I don’t like to mess around and delay the difficult. It helps me sleep better.
#22 is probably the hardest (especially the fire quickly part)
# 21 & #22 are money!
23 is kicking me in the face at the moment.
There is somebody from my past who has been brought back into my present and he is making decisions that are affecting so many people in very sad ways - his wife, kids, his employer, me (and therefore my husband).
My heart is grieving for his decisions. I want to sit him down, shake him, and ask him why. But I can’t. And if I try and take responsibility for that, it is only distracting me and quite possibly getting in the way of lessons God wants him to learn.
Let…go…
Lovin’ It! So here’s what comes to mind…If our bodies are His new covenant “Temple”, how is the “sanctuary” I am responsible for?
…Have I closed business and rested for proper repairs? Is it physically in top condition? (so, I can be ready for the next call) Are there “chips” flying off my shoulders that need to be cleaned up and properly disposed? Isn’t it time to let the “hot air” out of the steeple and fill it full of “Word” insulation? Am I comparing my temple to the holy place across the street? God is the “EXTREME MAKEOVER” King!
30. WOW, I am stationed in that right now. Praising like there is no tomorrow!!
27. Don’t just delegate responsibility. Delegate authority.
I remember one of your posts about that a few months ago - it’s been a great concept to act and think on.
#27 & #28 - Thanks for the list, and for continuing to push us newbies farther in ministry.
29. being new to ministry - when people stop coming i feel like it is completely my fault or they don’t like me. much like another point about not taking credit for failures - you are right. i need to not take it personally. God is at work.
The most wonderful music to my ears is laughter. I love to laugh and even more, I love to hear others laugh. It’s impossible for me not to get excited about hearing that blessed sound and no two laughs sound the same. Giggles are acceptable as well as snorts (keep the snot under control though). I wish I would have known this when I was twenty, I’d have fewer wrinkles and I would have taken much less medication
#30 is extremely timely for me.
Loving It!
On #21 - I just want to make a comment that the acting quickly only counts when you’re SURE its the right thing and its the right time. If you’re not sure, don’t act quickly, imo.
I’m only 23 and in ministry, and making a quick decision used to be very easy for me. I’ve learned to only make quick decisions when I KNOW its the right decision (as Pastor Craig mentioned) and I know its the right time.
Often we can get the right thing, but the wrong time. God’s timing is the only one that counts.
wisdom. It’s good to be reminded on some of these.
29. People will leave your church. People you love and trust will leave your church. Don’t take it personally.
Easier said than done. Any tips on how you handle this one?
bc
Craig,
Great stuff as usual. In regards to #25 and #26, I just posted an article on the overworking of Pastors at http://reson8.org/2007/a-note-to-pastors-work-less/
Blessings and thanks for your blog!!!!
Scot
26 is a good one… I’ve learned that it takes a security in Christ to take that time away. When our identity is in Him and not our job it’s easier to take the rest we need to be the best we can be.
Great insights–even at 40! Wait until you see what you’ll discover during the next ten years. Yikes!
Hey, Craig! This one for sure:
People will leave your church. People you love and trust will leave your church. Don’t take it personally.
This has seemed to be a bigger factor within the last couple of years, the years when we have grown the most.
Question for you: how do you determine when someone’s departure needs to receive some attention? that is, have you found there are times when a member’s/attender’s departure has prompted some reflection?
Have a great day!
Thank you for sharing this list - it is helpful and encouraging. I really appreciate your insight on Don’t just delegate responsibility. Delegate authority.
These are great! I hope you will publish all of them together when you are finished!
#23 You can’t change people. Only God can.
IMO…A person won’t successfully change for any other person… maybe temporarily, but the only true change comes from when they WANT to change for God and the only way that happens is by His strength and guidance. That’s when it’s real.
thanks for sharing these, they are great to really absorb and internalize.
Craig, I am loving #21. Thanks so much for that, just what I need to hear right now.
At 46 # 21 looks like:
When you have a tough decision and you think its the right one give it time in God’s hands and God will make it clear that you only thought you knew what God wanted.
Definitely #26 for me. I didn’t take off from my ministry job for nearly 5 years and I almost paid dearly for it. I learned the hard way that I dishonor God when I don’t allow seasons of rest into my week, my months and my years. The pride is my heart is slowly being removed but this something I will always have to be intentional about.
Thank you again Craig.
#22 -Can you give some details about what you mean by “fire quickly”? This could mean that if a person makes a mistake, you are quick to terminate them. It seems like such a strategy would leave people in fear for their jobs constantly.
I assume you mean that after prayer you realize that a person is not going to work out in a position, you fire them quickly instead of just keeping them around. (I certainly agree with not keeping useless dinosaurs around). What about moving people to other positions within the church?
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#22 Larry brings up a good point. Firing should be done with as much care as hiring. Motives should be checked with all parties involved. I tried calling a few people out in sin at a church (a pastor buying things that were frivolous for personal use on the church’s bill and that was emotionally abusive towards women) and due to me not being connected politically, I got fired. I even followed the Matthew 18 model. So due to some pastors not taking the time to see what was really gone, my life and my ministry have been greatly altered.
#27 is right on, if you don’t delegate authority you aren’t really delegating. Good stuff all around!
#30…I believe the pain involved with ministry is suppose to draw us closer to the heart of God…not push us away.
Thank you for sharing your lessons. They are on target. I especially love # 25 & 28.