My Transsexual Friend
Let me start by saying this is not a Second Life story. Though I am sure it could be.
Last year, I wanted to reconnect with a good friend of mine who had taken an out-of-state job. I had not talked to him for years and heard that he and his wife had moved to somewhere in Europe. In the process of tracking him down, I was shocked to hear that “he” had gone through various surgeries and was now a “she.” I couldn’t believe it! I knew him very well, was at his wedding…and now I wasn’t sure if I knew her at all.
I prayed about how or if I should respond, and God clearly said “love her right where she is at”. That’s right…”love her“. It was pretty hard for me to get there at first…I was concerned that acknowledging the change would somehow condone the decision.
But, I emailed my friend and addressed her by her new name. She responded with surprise as she did not expect to hear from me. Her wife (now ex), many of her friends, some of her family, and even her church had rejected her. I think she expected me to do the same. I think I expected me to do the same. I don’t personally know any other transsexuals, and as such, the whole thing seemed a bit freaky to me. Nonetheless, we emailed back and forth and caught up on the details.
Though I could not really understand how/why she had made the decisions she had, I really felt compassion for her. I believed God had reconnected us for a reason, and I began to pray that she would simply listen to God’s voice.
We’ve stayed in contact over the last year via email, phone and once in-person when she had to come to the states on business. Last weekend, she and her girlfriend were visiting the US, and Melissa and I invited them to stay at our house. We, of course, brought them to church.
Now this is what is amazing to me - my transsexual friend tearfully raised her hand during the invitation to follow Christ. I prayed with her…and in our lobby, she began to describe how God has been trying to get her attention. She realizes that Satan has been deceiving her…that there are long-term consequences to the decisions she has made…she feels that God wants her to be close to Him…and she really wants that too…and also that she is considering changing back to living as a man. Wow! This is only something God could do.
Now, I don’t know exactly what the future looks like. There are many complicated and significant decisions that my friend is facing. But, God is talking, and she is listening. It’s a clear answer to prayer.
God has used this experience to reveal some things to me…perhaps He might do the same with you.
I’m pretty sure that I would not have stopped to listen to God and reach out to this person had it not been my friend, and I thank him for showing me how to love someone even when I didn’t understand the circumstances. Has God ever surprised you in a situation where you may have “rejected” someone, but showed them love instead?
Visit 
Well what a refreshing story. Started reading it thinking, oh no… not another person trying to say that this stuff is OK… but overall a good story of a person learning from God and striving to do whats right, even if that means reverting back to their God given sex.
Wow Bobby!
That’s a great story. Gotta admit though, halfway through it, I was kind of uncomfortable in my seat - especially how “she” has a girlfriend.
But you came home with all the goods talking about the way God continues to pursue her despite her decision sin life.
Great post.
Bobby,
Thanks for sharing this story with us. I guess you never know what you will do until it happens to a friend. God always amazes me. Your friend is loved by God no matter what she did. The same goes for me. Thanks for the reminder.
Thanks Bobby,
It was convicting and inspiring all at the same time.
Welcome home
That story rocks, I think we underestimate God’s grace and compassion, He loves this world and EVERY soul in it. Sometimes we think that He only loves good/normal people.
We need the Lord’s help to have His eyes of compassion and not our own, to see past the sin to the person beneath it, if we can do that we realize that we are all the same, fallen soul in need of saving.
There is a whole subculture out there that lives this way and needs us to really reflect God’s love. This a great post Bobby, keep us updated on your friend, I will remember her in my prayers.
Though you felt some conviction in the process, WELL DONE for loving this friend in a Christ-like way!
I have never had such an unique encounter (ie-one that so challenged my capacity to love, understand and, simply, interact with relational intelligence). I hope that I would respond just as you did.
“I was concerned that acknowledging the change would somehow condone the decision.”
I think this is where I get hung-up way too often….I’m learning that MY judgement really doesn’t matter—I’m only to love. God can take care of the rest.
Thanks for sharing this awesome story!
Best story ever.
Seriously. God’s love for us is always sufficient and He is so in love with you that it is scary.
Just having a glimpse of His love stuns me.
I wonder if God ever thought, after Eve and Adam blew it, “If I interact with them now, I might somehow be perceived as condoning what they’ve done”?
I wonder if God is as repulsed by our sinfulness as we are by others that we don’t understand?
What a great story! Thanks for sharing it. Quick question: Do you blame his/her wife for rejecting her? I don’t know if I do. That would be as tough of a situation to go through as actually wanting to make the change.
Wow! Great story. As I am reading and examining whether my heart would be in the same place to invite her to my house, I am being convicted to be more like Christ in this area. We are in this world to show Christ to ALL people.
In Mark 2:17 Jesus is answering why he is eating with the sinners…On hearing this, Jesus said to them, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” (NIV)
I don’t know when the last time I had a “sinner” to my house for dinner. Sad.
Love God, Love your Neighbor….isn’t this what it’s all about Bobby?? Showing God’s love (not judgment, not scorn, not our pride) but God’s love only, He is able to work miracles through our obedience if we let Him. Great story. I hope you will keep us posted on the changes (no pun intended) that happen with your friend. :>)
Great story. Thanks for sharing Bobby.
Scott, Great thoughts.
Marty, I don’t know all of the issues surrounding the divorce. I did know his wife, and I was just heart broken when I tried to put myself in her shoes. I could not imagine it.
My big thought in reading this post is that because it ends with your friend being open to God it makes your acceptance of your friend “okay”.
The reality is many of these stories won’t end that way, and we STILL have to reach out with love. I love it that you were obedient in treating your friend with love not knowing the outcome of the story.
Bobby,
I am so excited to hear this story. That is one issue (along with many others connected with it) that the church is totally (in most cases) unprepared to deal with, and it’s so encouraging to hear your journey and to see the fruit that’s come out of it.
I think far too often we can see the sin (which in your case was so visible with your friend) and not see the person behind it, know the story, or have the compassion to love and embrace them like you did.
There’s a guy named Sy Rogers who has a dynamic testimony of how God worked in his life and restored him from a transsexual identity. I’d encourage you, and others, to check out his story… http://www.syrogers.com.
This story reminded me that in God’s eyes I am no different, or better than anyone else. My sins are as hurtful to God and those of the subject. Thank God that He sent Jesus to save/cleanse ME. Thank God that He loves all sinners and Christ’s blood was shed for all - not just those of us misguided souls who sometimes think we might somehow actually deserve it!
This hits close to home. Satan has attacked my family in a huge way with homosexuality. I am still trying to figure out how to deal with all of it. My grandmother on my mom’s side has 5 grandchildren-all boys. I’m the only one who is not gay. On my dad’s side I have a cousin that is my age who is gay as well. When the family gets together, I try to be neutral and act like I did around them when we were growing up. But I have 2 girl 5 & 10 that make the situation that much more sticky.
Last Thanksgiving we were having my family to our house for the big meal. My brother asks if he can bring someone he’s been dating. I responded that he and his friend were absolutly welcome but they had to respect my wishes of no displays of affection in front of the girls because I was not ready to answer the questions they would have. I thought that was fair, but he was hurt by my request. It got kind of ugly, but I think he finally understood where I was coming from, but his feelings were still hurt. Turns out he came down with the flu the day before Thanksgiving and didn’t make the trip over to the house.
Thoughout this Thanksgiving season as we spent time with family, my 10 year-old asked several times why she doesn’t have any cousins on my side of the family (she has 5 on her mom’s side). What do you tell her?
I have no problem loving them all for who they are, but it’s difficult to protect my kids from that exposure. I’m beginning to think it would be easier to just avoid those members of the family until the girls are old enough to understand it, but that will be about another 10 years for my youngest.
Any suggestions?
Bobby,
I had a man ask me one night after I had been speaking in worship, “Is it worth following Jesus when I am gay?” I have to admit that I had many of the same thoughts you mentioned about condoning his lifestyle by engaging him. The only thing I could say it, “Absolutely.” If it wasn’t worth it for him, then it was for me or anyone else.
It’s funny how we think we have to clean up our act before God will accept us. But thank God for Christmas to prove God came to us long before we could get things looking good and come to him.
“…faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.” Thanks for reminding us it’s about love.
Cathy, that’s what I hope people hear.
Travis, I’ve been processing that in a bit of the same way. My daughter is very young, but I still was thinking about what her perception of things might be.
I was talking recently to a good friend who is in a very similar situation to you. (I hope I can explain this well.) As we discussed it we both agreed that for our families we’d rather error on the side of our kids seeing us love unconditionally. I know that will lead to questions and it might be hard for us to explain and for them to understand the answers. I do think they will understand our love, and I trust the rest of the understanding will come in time as they get older. I don’t know if I captured the poiny very well in this comment. Perhaps you can ask some follow-ups if needed.
Holy Crap! What an incredible story. In fact my associate was talking to some students and invited them to a Bible study. To her surprise they said “you don’t want us at your Bible study, we are heathens.” Rachel was taken back and said “what do you mean?” The students explained how they don’t believe in God and will disrupt the meeting. So many times our response to that would would be “well, I guess they don’t want our love.” However, in reality, those are the people who need it more because they have been hurt somehow. Christ calls us to love God and love others.
Thank you so much for that story Bobby. it is such a testimony to what Christ calls us to do and how He is in charge, not us.
My wife and I have an acquaintance who’s a practicing homosexual. We did our best to love him where he’s at, invite him to church, and be there for him in bad times, but we eventually had to distance ourselves from him because of his lewd behavior. It broke our hearts.
I think the most loving thing we did was tell him the truth–that no homosexual will enter the Kingdom of Heaven.
It was offensive to him no doubt, but we had to make it clear that although we love him, we don’t condone his lifestyle.
We just pray that the seeds we planted with him take root and grow, that soon he may repent and trust Jesus.
Wow! Bobby, I am sitting here in awe. This HIT deep…and I am FIRED UP! As Christians we are SO shallow at times and we are scared to really dig deep, get our hands dirty and show those that are REALLY HURTING LOVE …
Instead we throw: judgment, gossip, legalism, stereotypes, scarlet letters, 8 step programs, condemnation, hollow prayers and perimeters right in the face those that need God…NOW! (ALL in the Name of Christ)
We act that we are better (we are not). God is NO RESPECTOR OF PERSONS! (Acts 10:34) Thank you for placing your hand RIGHT in the leper’s wounds and letting God do the rest. I have such angst for the outcasts (I have been one myself), and it is refreshing to know that there ARE Christians out there getting mud on their fingers.
That’s powerful! Thanks Bobby!
Bobby- Incredible! Love overcomes awkwardness.
Mike- That’s too bad you and your wife had to disconnect from the relationship…
Jason,
We learned through this what Jesus meant when He said He did not come to bring peace, but division (Luke 12:51).
It was difficult. We did what we could in good faith to embrace him in love and in truth, but he spurned us.
Bobby great story! I was looking forward to a really impactul ending to the story, either way and God delivered just that.
Security in Christ overcomes all awkwardness!
Wow…
I have mixed feelings about the original post. I love that you loved her. I love that you invited her to your home. I love that you invited her to your church and gave her an opportunity to meet Jesus. I love that she has seen Jesus pursuing her and that she is receptive. THAT is exactly what we are called to do.
However, there is a hint in the post (and way more than a hint in the responses) that the triumph is that she is considering changing back to a man. But let me ask…if she wasn’t considering living as a man again, would it have been worthy of a post? Would you all be high-fiving, or would she just be some dirty, misguided sinner that doesn’t “get it” yet?
Or are we all dirty, misguided sinners that often don’t “get it”?
Every day, we get to bump into people whose lives are not what WE THINK they ought to be. Will we use our Christianity to be Jesus (not so we can clean them up, but so He can do whatever He wants to with them)? Or will we let our religious superiority get in the way of someone else’s spirituality? I don’t want that on my head. I’m not gonna put them into a “DIRTY SINNER” box, because that’s not my call. I’m gonna love them. The rest is up to Him.
Jessica,
Let me help clarify the intent of the original post…it’s in the last couple of paragraphs.
“God has used this experience to reveal some things to me…perhaps He might do the same with you.
I’m pretty sure that I would not have stopped to listen to God and reach out to this person had it not been my friend, and I thank him for showing me how to love someone even when I didn’t understand the circumstances. Has God ever surprised you in a situation where you may have “rejected” someone, but showed them love instead?”
I’ve never prayed, or even suggested to her that the right conclusion to all of this is to change back to a man. I don’t even know if that change will every happen. I just am excited that she is listening to God.
The entire point of the post is love without the condition of lifestyle change. I just wish that I could say I’ve done that with people who were not my friends.
Bobby, I should have been clearer. The first part of my response was directed at your original post. I think that your heart showed through, and I believe that you have modeled Jesus in a beautiful way. I reread your post throughout the day, but just kept getting caught on the “she is considering changing back to living as a man. Wow! This is only something God could do” comment. I was concerned that the other posts may have seen this as the triumph. However, I do think that we are in agreement. Here’s why:
The remainder of my response was more of an open reminder that WE must be very careful in these situations. But we must also be courageous. It’s not always easy to stretch. It’s not often easy to love and accept. It’s sometimes tempting to isolate and hate. It can be very awkward. But we must love without prejudice, because lives are at stake. Thank you for having the courage to do that and to share your story with us.
[...] 30, 2007 · No Comments Bobby Gruenewald did a post on LC swerve blog titled: My Transsexual Friend. Bobby states “I prayed about how or if I should respond, and God clearly said “love her [...]
BG:
Let me share a story that happened about 30 minutes ago near my house.
I was coming back from Sonic drive in and saw a man do a ‘hit and run’ on a Range Rover. I then drove by the guy in the Range Rover who got hit. As he was not hurt, I said “Wait here and I will be back”. I proceeded to follow the vehicle that was driving all over the road, swerving in and out of traffic and hitting one vehicle after another. I called 911 and followed the vehicle giving the 911 operator the cross streets while providing a ‘play by play’ of the carnage I was witnessing. Thankfully, the man was only going about 25 miles per hour and was doing minimal damage. In the end, no one was seriously injured.
After hitting 5 different vehicles and many trash cans, I followed the man through a residential neighborhood and finally into a grocery store parking lot. He parked his car and passed out hanging over his steering wheel. I waited while the police arrived. Then, I directed the police to the vehicle and watched as they approached the car. What I saw next broke my heart. I witnessed a man who was incredibly drunk being handcuffed. He was so intoxicated that he was completely unaware that he has hit anyone, let alone 5 other vehicles. The police took notes as I recounted the events of the several accidents I had witnessed.
Then something happened to me that was simply amazing. This will sound strange to many. But as the other bystanders and witness gossiped, God allowed me to see into this mans soul. I knew his past, his pain, and I saw his sin. Then, and here is what was most amazing, I was filled with love beyond explanation. I wanted to pray for the man who was in handcuffs right there in the back of the police car. I wanted to hug him and I begged God to have mercy on this man and restore him. I had not felt as much love for another person in a long, long time. At that moment, I knew love as Christ loves us. I came home a cried for this man.
I love your story because it is about loving someone who is different, someone who made mistakes and sinned like all of us. The love you showed is awesome and we all need more of it…including myself. Keep it up!
MM
Thanks for sharing this story–and your compassion. What you did was not saying that any of it was right, but the love you showed spoke volumes for God’s love. Way to go!
We had a situation a year ago at my sons’ high school where a teacher ended the school year as ‘Mr.’ and started the next year as ‘Ms.’ It was national news! Although I wish I could have shielded my guys from all of this, talking through it was a much better choice. The saddest part was that we actually had to discuss how other parents acted and the comments that were publicly made even more! Is being openly transsexual worse than privately abusing your wife or stealing from your employer? What needs to happen is exactly what you did.
I want to live my life expecting God to big things like this - every day! What a BIG God we serve!
MM - great story!
[...] December 1st @ 5:59 pm by Jeff Riles This post definetly caught my attention [...]
Wow I think you just kicked a lot of people in the butt. Ok mine is hurting too. I must admit. What a powerful story! Thanks for sharing that. Love really is the only thing that never fails.
I wrote an essay on this subject a while back which I just re-posted here. Basically, when we think that people should change before they know Christ, it is the same as saying that Christ has no effect — for if it were possible not to sin without Christ then what good does Christ’s power have for our lives?
HI Bobby
Our world is so broken!. The fabric of society is disintergating at a rapid pace due to sin and its all consuming push towards death. Bobby people’s souls are starved of any sign of God consciousness, they have little to no understanding of right & wrong or truth and error.
They are as the scriptures declare sat in darkness with there minds blinded to the truth by satan. Who knows if your willingness to go beyond your own personal comfort zone by risking your own personal reputation, has not become the simple act of obedience that the Holy Spirits has used to snatch a human soul out of very clutches of hell itself.
Bobby your courage challenges me to surrender more and more to my God to get beyond my own predujuices!! Well done my friend..Kevin
Yesterday I talked with a lesbian couple at the back of our auditorium. Turns out they the only people at this church who have befriended an older gentleman who is dying of cancer- he often sits next to them on Sundays.
Hmmm…here are a couple who some “reject” outright, but they are reaching out to a truly needy man who those same rejectors are overlooking.
Bobby,
Thank you for sharing this amazing story. It’s a great example of how we as Christians are taught to love and serve first. Too many times we get caught up in deciding who to love or in judging others. We tend to forget that it’s only by grace that any of us are saved.
Transsexuals and homosexuals are so often abandoned and judged by the church and yet they need to see and feel Chirst’s love more than most. We have to remember to love them first and let God’s love show through us. He’ll take care of the rest.
WOW. This is an amazing story. I deeply appreciate the fact that Bobby made a choice to show the LOVE of Jesus to his friend. And then, for the friend to open up to the love of GOD…This is what it’s all about. Thanks Bobby for setting a great a example of what it means to LOVE like Jesus.
One night my husband, JT, and I were at dinner with a group of friends. A few tables over there was an obvious double date of 4 men. Some of our crew proceeded to poke fun. To the ones not making fun, JT leaned over and said, “When I see that I only wonder who broke their heart and what lead them to that lifestyle.” I often wonder “Who didn’t love them. Who didn’t protect them. Who wounded them.” I’ve had a few gay friends and that’s what they were…my friends. It’s been years since I’ve seen them or talked, but they always knew that I loved them and loved being around them, even if they knew I disagreed with them. They are the walking wounded. I’d still be walking wounded, only with different wounds, if it weren’t for Jesus. It can be the same for them.
Walking healed.
This is such an interesting story-The LOVE of Christ is the most important thing we should remember as Christians.
One thing I must remind myself constantly…NONE of us, no matter how much we read the Bible, pray, fast, go to church will ever know the mind of God–how do we know who will be let into the kingdom of Heaven?! God is the only one!
I really found this story to be of great encouragement. My husband did things in our early marriage that I really found uncomfortable. God is really the healer. I continued to love my husband through some very difficult times in our marriage and continued to love him the way I was taught by Christ. Love unconditionally. It is hard sometimes to remember this, but He shows me my imperfections and realize that Jesus died for him like he died for me. Just as Christ died for this person because “God so loved the world…”
[...] the Best. Blog. Post. Ever. trick earlier this year, so I’ll just have to say I’ve read another awesome post that truly made me think how much responsibility we have as Christians to love one another. If a [...]
[...] we truly love others? Check out this post. What an incredible story as to how we should view others. Everyone is a child of God and we should [...]
[...] you showing God’s love to everyone? Bobby Grunewald of LifeChurch.tv posted an amazing story on his blog (Swerve) this week about showing Christ’s love for all people. As I read the [...]
I made an attempt yesterday to respond to your email about your transexual friend, but do not see it psoted. While I appreciate you Christlike love and looking beyond a person’s faults to see and meet their need, we often stop short of giving those in need the full dose of balm. We certainly should love allpeople right where they are, but we must not accept their sin. God created your friend a male and it is not for man to say that God made a mistake and for usto straithen out His mess. Yes, love HIM but do not condon HIS behavior by going along with HIS disobedience and rebellion against God. In doing so, you both become and create a stumbling block for your friend. By giving truth, it does not take from the grace, rather enhances your great love for them and furthers the possiblity for the glory of the Lord to shine through. We don’t need a balance of both grace and truth, but a fullness of both. By accepting their their sin we become part of it. It is not ok to go against the commandments of God and sin has a heavy payment that will one day come due if not repented of. I beleive, in order for your friend to make things right HE should undo the wrong HE has done. I say this with a full heart of love and compassion in hopes that a soul may be salvaged from that payment in and through the blood of Christ Jesus, our Lord.
God bless you and your friend
Bro. James
I am a pastor of a large church and my dad…the previous pastor..left the ministry when his marriage broke up.It turns out he is gay. As a result I have baggage in that I firmly believe that the willful action vs orientation debate is sigificantly changed when a good friend, relative or child is struggling in this area…..We decided to be a church that is open to sexually broken people of all sorts A friend of mine who lived as a woman for 3 years until he had a God encounter, knows personally 11 transexuals who decided to reverse the surgery….Interestingly [and I think obviously] all were in warm, grace-filled churches who accepted them as they were and in that enviroment without anyone prescibing a recommended pathway they all came to a decision which was a ‘God and them’ decision….From memory their journey times were between 3 and 9 years…So I teach truth with good doses of mystery and refuse to operate as an ecclesiastical policeman…
Maybe it is easier overhere as the level of paranoia seems to be lower in Australia than in the mid-west of America but a lot of the harsh judgementalism coming from christian leaders in the states [as well as over here] can result in our young people suiciding or apostacising rathet than moving forward on their journey with Christ in what must be very difficult circumstances…
[...] out this article written by Bobby Gruenewald, a pastor at LifeChurch.tv. Last year, I wanted to reconnect with a [...]
Praise the Lord we all serve a God of great grace. Thank you for sharing this story.
Great story, Bobby.
Travis,
Your children will come across homosexuality in thier lives no matter what! God has a plan for your children and with prayer and you ministering to them they will know better than to take the road of sin. Complete shelter will not give them room to live and learn, and God wants his children to gain wisdom. To oppose your brother’s homosexuality risks a family beeing broken apart. MY ADVISE TO YOU~ GIVE IT TO GOD TO TAKE CARE OF AND
DONT TRY AND MANIPULATE OTHERS; PRAY FOR THEM TO ACQUIRE WISDOM INSTEAD. IT IS ALL IN HIS HANDS, NOT WITHIN YOUR POWER, HE WILL TAKE CARE OF IT IF YOU JUST BELIEVE, PRAY, AND SERVE HIM.
[...] Read Bobby’s post here. [...]
Amen! I am so glad you did not give up on your friend even if it was very awkward. God will do amazing things if we are obedient to His Word in how to treat others. God bless you and your friend.
As a transsexual I can say that it is not a sin to be oneself, rather it is being true to God. I am the way I am because god made me to be this person and to affect the world as this person.
I am not a Christian, but when I think of love I think of happiness for others and joy. How can you extend love to a transsexual if you do not celebrate them as they are or are happy for them?
Hmmm, I have been reading the responses and everyone is patting you on the back for treating someone like a human being. I give her the credit for walking this through with God. Perhaps had she been treated in a christ like manner in the beginning, she would have been sparred some pain. I’m also amazed at how much judgement has been passed. It only makes me want to judge as well.
Gabe,
I’m certainly not looking for pats on the back. I wish I could say that the way I responded to my friend has always been the norm for me, but I can’t. My praise goes to God for how He can work in all of our imperfections (mine and my friend’s). I shared my experience because I know that the Church (particularly in America) seems to also struggle with how to respond appropriately to people like my friend. It should not be that way…you are absolutely right.
I think many of the responses indicate that people are feeling the same conviction that I did through this experience. I see the “pats on the back” as simple expressions of agreement or encouragement more than praise. I don’t mind the contrast of opinions/perspective from some of the responses…contrast tends to help people see things more clearly - at least that is how it works in the settings on my tv
I pray that God might use the post to help people see and do just what you have suggested and treat all people in a Christ-like manner.
[...] My Transsexual Friend [...]
Congratulations!
You used your friend’s vulnerable situation of having been rejected by so many people - and your own status as being one of few people who hadn’t *completely* rejected her — to convince her to going back to living in a role that she *stopped* living in because she couldn’t fit into that role!
If you let her go ahead with this de-transition, she will find out that she is just as unable to live in the male role now as she was then - and when her second transition isn’t as successful as the first time, guess who she’ll have to blame? That’s right. You.
Sophia,
Thanks for visiting our blog. I think if you carefully read the post and the comments I’ve made…you’ll be able to see that what you are suggesting is simply not the case. I’ve never attempted to persuade my friend to change back to a man.
Bobby, I can’t even begin to tell you how touched I am that you took the time to respond to my post - and in such a great and open manner. I guess what I didn’t clarify (as it’s just a link) is that it wasn’t your post that upset me, as some of the comments left in regard to it. Thank you so much for taking the time to write me. Your friend is truly blessed, indeed.
Bobby,
I am really touched by your story. While I am a Christian, I have been severely hurt by other “Christians.” I am a transsexual myself, but not fully in the process. It is a dark - very dark - world that we live in. We hate and despise ourselves. We need someone to lean against who we know will love us. That is the kindest thing you could have done for your friend. I urge you, oh do I urge you, to watch your friend as she transitions back. Make sure that is the choice she is REALLY wanting to make. Also, if at all possible, watch her mental health. The suicide rate among transitioning transsexuals is just too high.
As for me… I pray and pray and pray, but I feel as if I get the same answer from God. “Do as you must to serve me best.” Maybe that means I would serve him better if I transition. Maybe that means he wants me to transition, and the transition back and provide help making the decision for others. I do believe He would rather me live my life as the opposite gender and not bring death to myself. And I highly fear I will if I don’t do this. However, I also believe that us humans can never go against His ultimate will. Never. What is his ultimate will? Depends on how we translate what the Bible says. And we are humans translating holy word… I don’t think we will ever get it with out human flaw being in our interpretations.
But I do believe that this is true: unconditional love. Thank God you have it, Bobby.
I’m transsexual and I have been on the receiving side of stories like this. And gratefully, 99% of my friends did stay friends after learning of my change. So your story rings true about my experience also.
Carolyn
Bobby, I just ran across your post regarding your transsexual friend who I know as well from our college days. I actually saw her about five years ago after she had the surgery when she was in town visiting one of our old college friends and have been praying for her on a regular basis. I am beyond excited to hear that she accepted Christ. We should never give up on witnessing to those who do not know Christ no matter their lifestyle. I have two gay friends I bring to LifeChurch.tv whenever they come to visit. I have been chastised for it by some people, but I believe seeds are being planted in their lives and God can change their hearts.
As a note to whoever is currently trying to submit an anonymous comment on this post. I’m happy to post your comment if you will reduce the length of it. It is way too long. I would have sent you an email explaining, but I do not have your address. Thanks
I am a transsexual woman and a christian.transsexualism is a birth defect.you are very uneducated thinking people that are transsexuals are sinful and going to hell.I am discrimnated against everyday by right wing religious nuts.I cant get a job or go to school because of narrow minded people like you.transsexuals cannot change what they are through religion.I intend to live the rest of my life as a woman and am not planning to go to hell
What a great story. I came across this because I just discovered that an old friend of mine is in a similar situation: he recently started living as a woman, but he says he’s “confused” about religion and I want to help him find his way back. Thanks for the push in the right direction.