Fighting the Creeps 3 (of 4)
Fatigue Creep
I’ve recently endured one of those “grueling seasons” of ministry. If you’ve been in ministry for long, you know what I’m talking about. Some seasons are relatively easy. Others are more strenuous. Some are almost too much.
One of the grossest sins of ministers (in my opinion) is a blatant neglect for the Sabbath. Because a pastor’s rhythms and schedules are so erratic, a full day off can be a rarity.
It’s easy to do more than we should. Before long, we’ve wasted an evening doing email. We’ve burned half our day off chatting on our cell phone. We’ve lost an hour looking at blogs. We lose our day off to a funeral.
Our commitments can continue to creep until we realize that it’s been weeks since we’ve had a legitimate day off.
(Some of you even brag about not having a day off. I used to. This generally reflects our insecurities or sick desire to please God with a works-righteousness attitude.)
If you don’t take adequate time to rest, you will burn out. My counselor explained to me that my workaholic tendencies are really due to a “lack of faith.”
Here are the areas where I’m weak:
- I wrongly think I’m more necessary than I am.
- I wrongly believe that God is less involved than He really is.
Are you pushing it too hard? Do you lack faith? You’ll never do all that God wants you to if you won’t do what He’s already told you to do… Rest.
Do you know how to rest? And do you actually do it?
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Bragging is right. For long time my lack of time off was a badge of honor. I gave my team time off, of course. What good leader woudn’t? But my narcissistic ‘first one there, last one to leave’ attitude just about took me out of ministry for good. Who knew it was pride.
I have found that we will make excuses for different seasons, this is how it went for me: first it was I am new to ministry, and then it was I am new at this campus, and then it was I am launching a new campus, and finally it was “We are a new campus.� The bottom line is those are all true, but excuses nonetheless.
I am getting better and better and better at resting; No matter the season!
What a perfect way to start a morning. How timely your post is. I’m not ordained. My full time ministry takes place on the job - a job that I am currently not doing right now. I’m off on “burnout” leave. I’m choosing to call it, “refreshing leave”. I wrongly found my value in my profession because I excel at it. I pushed my mind and body and now I’m having to learn how to relax. My generation was taught that relaxing was a sin - slothfulness. I’m caught between my parents generation and the one that devotes too much time to self. I should be following His example. He rested. He prayed. He filled His days and He slept. Insecurity can become a person’s greatest stronghold for the enemy. I think I need to spend more time reflecting on this. Thanks for the post.
Learning…Thanks to my man for kicking me in the pants a few times, I have slowly started realizing resting is a good thing!
In a previous life, it was all a competition. If my boss was at the church at 7:30, I had to be there at 7. If she stayed until 10, I stayed until 11. If she worked through lunch, I worked through lunch and didn’t eat. Why? I loved Jesus more than her, obviously…
Pride? What pride…?
Have I said how much I love my husband for kicking me in the pants?
A bunch.
I’m a mom….it’s the same for me–trying to keep all the plates spinning–WHAT would happen if I dropped one??
I’m such a do-er and I want to learn to just “be”. I think it’s a control issue–which is a pride issue—which is a lack of trust issue…..
“His yoke is easy, His burden is light”….
Scott,
I have done that same thing. No matter what is going on at the church, I see it as more important than anything else that may need to be done.
Also, I find that some of my “first to arrive, last to leave” errors come from an insecurity. What will the body say if I am not excellent at my job? Wasn’t expected to be done last week? If I just go the extra mile, this will blow there socks off! Thoughts of approval keep me here more than they should.
BrandonP
I want my kids to know me as a good father, not just as a good pastor. I think the key is to work hard when you’re at work…as a church leader, I need to show a good work ethic. But when I’m not at work, I need to disconnect and let things lie. The stuff to do will be there on Monday.
I recently went through a bought with anxiety after taking the ministry on my own shoulders. Definitely not the answer to the problem. Every one around me said, “you need to rest”. I didn’t believe it until one Sunday because of anxiety I couldn’t even preach. Now I take every Monday off. I don’t do jack!!!! I mean no phone calls or anything. I take time as often as possible to rest and relax. I realized that God can do it without me…He did it without me for a long time.
Calgon, take ME away!
“… Listen! Sit down and rest, everyone. Recover your strength. Gather around me. Say what’s on your heart. Together let’s decide what’s right. (Isaiah 41:1 MSG)â€?
God Rested, Jesus Rested, The disciples rested, so why don’t I choose to do the same when I am getting all the signs? Answer…I am an idiot! My ability to multi-task with fury (a commercialized stigma of success) leads to anxiety, sleepless nights, exhaustion and crankiness. (Nothing worse than a cranky blonde…the jokes just get worse!!!) :)
How do I relax (when I realize, hello! REST)? …Music, candles, coffee, exercise, turning the phone and TV OFF, deep breaths, writing, reading the Word, photography, laughing, and pushing the PAUSE button on life. I am the one person I cannot get away from, so I need to treat myself better. :)
Wow. Way to harsh my mellow, Craig. :)
Not really, but that was well said. I know that resting is good and necessary, but that’s a very clear and to-the-point explaination of WHY. I’m going to use that …
I rest every Monday. Of course yesterday the creeps did come in and I thought too much of myself and I talked on my cell phone cause I “had to” and…
Man, so many times I feel like the ministry depends on me and what I do. Ya, that’s stupid
Thanks, again, for “eating my lunch”! :)
Anne ~ you said your husband gives ya a needed “kick in the pants” on occasion; that is exactly what my wife does for me; true Sabbath definitely is an area where she has led me…and I am getting there.
The heart is willing, but the flesh (all too often) is weak…
I actually will have three, completely open days this weekend while Joy (my wife) is in CA with family. I very much want to steward them the best I can.
Speak, Holy Spirit…
ahhh, the fatigue of the ministry. only second to the fatigue of a minister’s spouse
This was a tough post.. much needed.
I’m a self - doer. I want my hands in everything. That make me in “control” right? No, it’s makes me tired and ineffective. In a recent week of mine, I felt that I was moving and not getting anything done. So I asked the Holy Spirit just for one breath.. HE gave me 2.
I grew up in a workaholic pastors home, who also built houses on the side… I always said I’d never do that because I felt the neglect from that type of lifestyle. Unfortunately its not that easy. I didn’t notice how over worked I was until my bride came into the picture… she let me know real quick, fast and in hurry. Today I’m trying to do ministry different than how I was taught by my father… and its a day in day out struggle, but its totally worth it. (it helps having a perfect 13 month old girl at home too) I force myself to shut down for at least one day a week and its been one of the best things I’ve ever done. (and I think I’m slowly inspiring my dad)
Psalm 127 is my theme verse as we “replant” our church
It is a great reminder that no matter how much I work and build, if God isnt in it, it isnt worth doing.
It is my theme verse becuse I have to come back to it over and over again, but it says as clear as day - “He grants sleep to those he loves” and that is a great reminder to rest…
I am constantly staying up way past my bedtime to get things done, write, clean, mom stuff you know. Then I wake up too tired to spend time with God. I have really been purposely been trying to get to bed earlier. I do so much better and then I can wake up with my coffee and God’s word. It is such a joy to be refreshed and have time and energy to play with my kids not just pop in a video becuase I am so behind on stuff. Great Thoughts today!!! :)
I loved this post because it is so true. I have seen so many folks in ministry get burned out because they are not willing to live a life of balance - and I think it is both a matter of pride and control.
Having said that I actually posted last night on having my life all out of balance - I haven’t had a true day off in a few weeks. And I feel miserable physically, mentally, and especially spiritually. I am recommitting to a sabbath’s day rest!!
I am on my first vacation since I graduated college four years ago. I am finding it hard to shut my mind and body down, especially at the end of the day. I just celebrated my one year wedding anniversary and I am beginning to sort out my priorities, thanks in part to the urging of my beloved wife.
I was reading about napping in the chapter on directors in Tom Kelley’s Ten Faces of Innovation and I thought to myself, “When was the last time I took a nap?” I couldn’t remember the last time I took a mini-Sabbath. My wife sleep past 11:00am on Saturday and I was so jealous!!
This has been my verse for the year…
Psalm 91:1
He who dwells in the shelter of the most high
will rest in the shadow of the almighty.
Still working on this, especially with 3 little kids running around the house. When I am home, I need to give my wife a break. I’ve been turning my daddy time with them into spiritual rest time for me. I recently took a hike with my 5-year-old son Eli (and pretended he was Isaac as we were hiking up)…that was really enriching for me.
…trying to rest in the shadow…
I go months without ever sleeping in and having a free spot in my agenda. I really gotta change that.
you hit something with that part about not taking time off and insecurities. yes, they can do things at work without me. no, I’m not impressing anyone when I’m working myself sick.
as awkward and uncomfortable as it sounds, time off would probably be a good thing (if I actually did it).
All good things can be made objects of sin if we allow them too…. Because it is about God and not things…..Thank you Lord…
I was once told no church member will ever come by your bedside in the hospital and say “thank u for having a heart attack, stroke or nervous breakdown.”
This was very convicting…
No I don’t know how to rest…
I definitely need to pray for grace in this area… and be more intentional…
Thanks for the gut-check…
A great model for pastoring is the Vineyard Church in Champaign, IL. The pastor there has managed to push nearly all daily ministry tasks to his associates, so that his primary jobs are (a) getting the vision for the Church, and (b) training the associate ministers and lay leaders up into that vision. He only preached one Sunday out of four. He never did hospital visits (or weddings or funerals I don’t think). That was entirely left up to the associate pastors and small group leaders.
Now, personally, I fall victim to the same issues in my non-ministry job. Unfortunately, with a startup company schedules are promised which can be met in theory, but not necessarily reality, and it takes working overtime just to manage.
I have the tendency to believe that my time and efforts matter too much to building the church. It’s been huge for me to serve with a team that reminds me that Jesus said, “I will build my church”and that he doesn’t need me, but my family does. Therefore, cheat the church on time and energy, but never cheat your family.