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Give Up To Go Up 2 (of 5)
Give Up Your Reputation
Another thing you’ll surrender as God increases your ministry is your reputation. When your ministry is small, you can (to some degree) control what people think about you. As your ministry grows, you cannot control your reputation. Expect to be…
- Misquoted and misunderstood
- Criticized by believers and non-believers
- Despised by people who don’t know you
- Despised by some who do know you
Too many of my ministry friends spend too much time and energy trying to do the impossible: manage their reputations.
Some certain signs that you haven’t surrendered your reputation include:
- Googling yourself
- Defending yourself on your blog
- Being shocked when people criticize you
- Being afraid to check your email
- Craving affirmation after you preach
- Thinking you can convert your critics into liking you
- Internalizing the hurt when you are criticized
You might always care some about what people think. Hopefully that will diminish over time. It’s not about us, anyway.
How are you learning to surrender your reputation for the glory of Christ?
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“Googling yourself,” that’s freakin’ hilarious. lol Great post and very sound advice.
Craig,
The last 5 year of my life have been very humbling. I had a group try destroy our new work by stealing the vision. Then I went on staff at a large church that split within 2 weeks of my coming. I lost income when the church decided to drastically cut our pay. I learned how to forgive. After a year I was the only staff member remaining. Now I’m transitioning a church and many good people have left because change is hard..
What have I learned about my reputation? I probably don’t have a good one in this community because the talk is about everyone who has left. Everything points towards me. So be it.
My reputation isn’t found in what I’ve done-it is found in Christ.
As I do think what you have said is extremely valid and completely timely (I’m a big googler and found someone had called me a false prophet over the weekend…it made me laugh, kind of)…
I think there’s also a different perspective about reputation, at least the one I struggle with probably as much as - if not more - than this side of it (with the bottom lines of both being “You care about what people think.”)
Sometimes, I wuss out on the things I know I need to do, or know I need to say because I don’t want my reputation to be the troublemaker or the boat rocker… I understand when you are in an environment that is open to change and input, these things shouldn’t be (and usually aren’t) a problem.
However, in other circumstances, I find it easy to protect the “good girl who just does her work” reputation by keeping my mouth shut and trucking right along even when I know I’m supposed to ask a question or present an idea.
It’s disobedience and lack of faith all wrapped into one not-so-pretty package. I suppose it’s more of a passive form of reputation protection…again, still putting me in control and not allowing God to be sovereign over all my circumstances.
Craig,
Thanks for a very timely post. I am recovering this morning from a wound caused by “friendly fire” this weekend. Being misunderstood and criticized especially by those we know and serve with can cause us to focus inward. That can become a ball and chain in our mission to expand the Kingdom. I needed an encouraging word to remember it is not about me.
Thanks
[...] As I lead the NW Oklahoma City Campus of LifeChurch.tv, I have wholeheartedly embraced all of the LifeChurch.tv cultural values, respect the original DNA and am totally sold out to the mission of the ministry. I am cherishing every minute of my calling, because I am simply “Doing Me� and don’t necessarily care what people think. Our Senior Pastor posted a Blog entitled “Give Up Your Reputation,� which outlines the fact that with a growing ministry or leadership role; people are going to misquote, criticize and despise you. If we embrace the fact that in life and as “leaders� we are going to experience criticism; why in world are we trying to be somebody else?  Remember the bigger your role or responsibilty becomes, the smaller your focus should be. BigIsTheNewSmall [...]
Kevin, I feel for you! That must be very painful. Sounds like you have kept things in perspective.
Anne, I had no idea you were a false prophet. I guess we can’t be friends now.
JK, You raised a good point on the inward focus… I pray you heal quickly from the wound.
I wasn’t sure how long it would take for us to learn this would happen. Seven weeks into our launch we have already been caught in some “friendly” fire so to speak. That is probably the toughest and I don’t think I’ll ever get to a point that I truly understand. I may expect that it is going to happen but I personal may not come to a point of true understanding.
The point I see in this post is to not waste energy trying to defend or get people to understand. The people we are trying to reach are the ones who deserve our full attention…not the people who are going to bash, mis-qoute, mis-lead, etc…
Craig,
I’m not looking for pity. This is God’s plan for some reason. I just finished reading Practicing Greatness by Reggie McNeal & the last chapter on the wilderness described my life right now.
God is good. Anne needs to interview me for her book though.
Jason, Wow, seven weeks. That didn’t take long. Hang tough.
Kevin, I’m not pitying you, just sincerely feeling for you. I know how hard these wounds can be… especially for our families. Glad to hear you can help Anne.
Craig - I’m sorry it had to end this way!
Kevin - I think you have my email address but if not, you can find it on my blog under my photo. I hate it that you and your family have had to go through such icky stuff. Feel free to email me and share what you are comfortable with sharing - especially how the forgiveness part ties in; I know that’s difficult to do.
Just yesterday I was reading when the people came to Samuel and asked for a king. God assured Samuel that they weren’t rejecting him (Samuel)…they were rejecting God. While I’m certainly not so proud as to think that everyone who disagrees with me is fighting against God, I do think that it’s what’s going on at least part of the time. That helps me to not take the “bad reputation” attacks so personally. I just happen to be a convenient target when people really don’t agree with God’s vision for the ministry.
This five part blog is such an encouragement to me. I think I connect the most with the “critized by believers” line. Criticism from unbelievers I have always handled well because I expect it. The criticism from within hurts because for me I never seem to see it coming.
Also the “internalizing of the hurt”, it’s hard to admit when you are wounded, but I have been “stepping out” and talking about it, and it feels good to know how much others care when they know you are hurting…
Amen, Craig.
In my experiences I’ve found that any time we step outside of the comfort zones of silence and relative obscurity and attempt to share a message to more than just a handful of our closest friends, we should almost always anticipate some form of either critique or dispute.
The hard part is separating our concern for how we appear to others from our concern about maintaining the integrity and relevancy of the message.
Ultimately, like you said, any time we put a great amount of focus and attention on our own reputation is usually a time that we can be certain that we have removed our focus off of Christ.
Thick skin can be a blessing, as long as we don’t let ourselves become numb to the thoughts and feelings of others!
Thanks for the encouraging post, Craig.
When we realized that this life is not about us, we’re able to do ministry more freely.
That means not taking personal credit when something goes well, and not taking personal criticism when things go not so well… when we realize we’re simply a tool that Christ chooses to use, it takes a lot of the people-pleasing pressure (say that three times fast) off our backs.
In the end, the only oppinion that matters is Jesus. When we truly live in the security of who we are in Christ, losing control of our reputation doesn’t seem so scary…
One thing that has helped me is having a sense of humor. I don’t have a problem making fun of myself. After the $9K pay cut I held a sign up at a church event that said “will preach for food.” Then I told some friends that our church was going under, I just had my pay cut, but I got good news–I just saved money on my car insurance by switching to Geico.
My recommendation: LAUGH–a lot!
Craig: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
You don’t know this, but you are training me.
Thank you. I owe you something. God will tell me how to bless you.
Misquoted and misunderstood, criticized by believers and non-believers, despised by people who don’t know you,
despised by some who do know you…
Sounds a lot like Jesus.
Jarret, Glad this is helping. I agree, taking shots from our own is much more painful.
J.G., Welcome back. We’ve missed hearing from you.
Joe, You don’t owe me anything. It is a dream come true for me to share with pastors.
Scott, You are right!
anne - Anybody that can’t tell just by reading your stuff that you are true daughter of your Father, and would never, ever be close to being capable of being a false prophet of all things, well that person is just a big poopy-face! And so there! You definitely score way up there on my alien meter. You faithful servant you! I hope this made you feel better. Your blog does that for me a lot. Besides, guess what happens when you poke holes in a lampshade? (grin)
Craig,
This is a great blog.
Every leader will always be a target. Our reputation is not our but God’s.
He knows what he is doing anyways.
J
I heard a pastor say once that if you stay true to the Word, then God will protect your reputation. I can say as a management staff pastor in a very large church who has had to deal with his fair share of criticism, that quote has proven to be completely true. That doesn’t mean all the critics love me, it just means God has protected my reputation inspite of the critics. Thanks again for the awesome advice Craig. Nothing set me free like when I decided to quit arguing with my critics.
This is tough. I can go without googling myself, but
* Craving affirmation after you preach and
* Thinking you can convert your critics into liking you
those can get me.
I don’t preach as often, and at the same time, there are guys around me that communicate incredibly. I catch myself preparing for the critique, instead of preparing for what God wants to share through me. Just one more killer emotional story and I am good. I love when I know that inspite of my delivery, I just shared what God wanted me to share.
Then with my role on the Internet Campus, I have entered a new world of critique from people I have never met. At first this was tiring because I wanted to explain to the antagonistic reporter, the disgruntled pastor, or the downright argumentative church member the heart of the matter. I found out real quick they really didn’t care!
Now the other piece of this reputation problem is convincing your loved ones to not take the criticism so personally. If my wife reads something negative about me…or you Craig, it is go-time :).
Craig thank you this is good stuff!
I am not sure I can say why but I always think I can convert my critics into liking me and then it never works. I need to learn from my past experiences.
I do feel very blessed because a year into our launch I have had very few critics and the ones I have had I did not internalize.
I am so thankful for the guidance I get from everyone who posts here.
I find myself falling into a reputation management trap at times. Brennan Manning’s “Abbas Child” is a great read that helps me re-center.
Wow, Craig, what a timely word from God for my life!!
I’m in a situation where strong leadership is required and tough decisions are needed and I’ve been, as I reflect honestly, very concerned about my reputation rather than the health, strength and destiny of the church.
Thanks for being used by God to speak directly to me. I’m challenged to lead strong, under the Lordship of Jesus, and leave reputations to Him.
Thanks for blogging!
[...] Craig Groeschel on your reputation taking a beating when you serve God. The ministry isn’t all roses? Seriously? [...]
John, Glad you decided to stop arguing with your critics. That’s one battle few win.
Brandon, You hit on some great points… Preparing messages should be done out of obedience to what God wants us to say instead of what people will think! Also, you are so right about family. You may be able to endure critics, but it is often harder on your wife when she hears bad stuff about you.
Bob and Jim, I’m so glad these posts are somewhat helpful. Thank you for contributing your thoughts!
Ouch. Like the quick removal of a band-aid. Great post.
Craig,
Wow. Brother, by God’s grace the Holy Spirit is all over you! This blog has been so helpful to me. My fear is that, I’ll want to return to some of these posts (and some of the comments) in a few years when I’ll need them again but not be able to find them. Have you considered consolidating these into a book? Please consider it.
Also,
I’d also be interested to hear your insight on “how to develop thick skin without getting a calloused heart.”
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