Even though Craig does make himself available in the lobby when he preaches live, I’ve heard him share what he once told a guy who asked to meet with him during the week. Something like: “The very reason you want to meet with me is because I speak into your life spiritually each week. If I allowed my schedule to fill up with personal meetings, I wouldn’t be prepared to speak into your life next week.” He then helped hook him up with his campus pastoral staff (who in turn probably helped him find a LifeGroup).

I don’t mean to speak for Craig or anything, I just thought that was a tactful way to help people understand that there are lots of other people who can lead them spiritually than always seeking out the one they see on stage.

Joe-you’re right it does seem odd to be in ministry for the people but realize your people interaction reduces in quality yet increases in quantity… Thank you for being one of the great people that understand about a pastors’ time…

Allyson- You are one of the BEST at this tact. (I think it’s because you are so genuin) Honestly, when I said I’ve watched other pastors you were one I had in mind…

Fred–I’m sorry about your awkward moment… hopefully you were able to follow up with your pastor’s dad… and I hope you’ve learned a little from everyone’s feedback…

Cindy–you are so right! People want to be known! Names are so important… remembering names and not being afraid of using them is something I’m getting better at…

Chris-Close talkers… ah, yes… that’s a whole other blog my friend… until next time…

The best thing that has worked for me in this situation is to always leave with a look to the future… “Keep me updated on that,” or “I want to know how that goes,” this tells them you’re transitioning out of the convo. without making them feel like you don’t care…

Great post! Now, what’s the strategy for handling “close talkers?” :)

If I do catch them passing by and we do strike up a conversation, I try to read them as best as possible. If they get antsy then I reply with “I don’t want to take up any more of your time but can I schedule an appointment with you?”. Either that or “I gotta run and meet somebody, can I email you later?”

I don’t want the pastor or leader trying to figure out how to get out of the conversation when I am the one who needs to chat with them and I can direct the conversation as needed.

The thing about it is, I really want to get into ministries that allows me to become more and more invested into other people’s lives.

Odd.

Craig told a story about how he remembered a young lady’s name who was on the verge of killing herself and how him doing that, she felt like God was saying her name, and she received Christ.

Tommy Barnett stands in the foyer after every service until every person is out of the foyer, and he has a church of thousands.

When I talked to Tommy Barnett after service one time, he took time to genuinely talk to me, and not give me the treatment of “okay, this is just another hand to shake.” It was absolutely incredible…

I think it’s a responsibility of the person in need to understand that a pastor’s time can quickly become scarce, so act accordingly.

As far as the person whose time is in high demand, either gracefully defer the conversation to a later scheduled time, or refer him/her to somebody else to minister to a person in need. Communicate genuine concern in either situation.

I suppose this is why many churches have deacons and elders.

For those people you know better and when time REALLY allows, I have a “How are things going” conversation with them. My thought on these is that I don’t ask someone how they are doing if I don’t have time to talk. Consider an alternative phrase. That’s what I do.

When John Maxwell pastored his church, he used to do about 100 1-minute prayers in his lobby/foyer each Sunday. He might be the best person to ask about “slipping away” from a conversation :)

Even this past Sunday morning I was a bit concerned because one of our church members blocked me as I was headed up to start the 2nd service, and lovingly, (slowly) said “hey, Fred … I need to talk to you … I need some help with ….”.

I had to interrupt and say “sure, I’d love to talk, but unfortunately it has to be like 20 seconds because I have to start this service upstairs in less than 2 minutes”.

He was gracious and spit out his request … I was uncomfortable because I hated to rush him … and even more, it was my PASTOR’S DAD!

I tend to be a bit “ADD”, and because of my own tendency to pile more on than I’m supposed to do, I SELDOM HAVE FREE TIME and find myself blowing people off … many times, without even realizing it. That inner voice in my head that says “you need to do this, you need to say this, you need to go here” tends to be so much LOUDER than the voice of the person standing right in front of me.

Yep, gets me in trouble with my wife, too! :-)

I look forward to seeing these responses .. hopefully I can learn to become a better listener, have a positive but tactful exit strategy, and in doing so, become a better person!

Thanks,
For the Kingdom,
Fred McKinnon

My wife and I call it “Pastor Mode”. If the conversation goes much past the greeeting, it is easy to tell that they are not really engaged with you. It is even more noticeable in a roomful of people.

When I do know that I need to end a conversation, often I will say - “I am sorry, I have an appointment.”