Similarly with complaining: “Complaining is always bad.” No, it isn’t. This view is too extreme.
Think about complaining this way. If I am a boss of a language school and a student comes to me to complain about the quality of the classes, etc. then I should be glad and grateful. The student wants to STAY in my school. A worse scenario would be if the student just left the school without saying anything - I lose the customer, I lose the money, and I don’t know why this happened.
We need to remind ourseves of the “the beauty of complaining” as well.
Thanks Brian.

“Vision and passion trump most non-constructive conflict…group members who want to be negative will be run over by the vision.”

“We must learn to see conflict as a catalyst for positive change and not a hinderance to a cohesive team.”

Thank you brian.

I think most people, myself included from time to time, would genuinely like to be prepared to embrace conflict whenever it arises however conflict rarely occurs when we expect it to (though I’m sure we’ve all been in a situation of events where we thought, “Oh this is going to get interesting”).

I think embracing and avoiding conflict actually coincide with one another but it depends upon the perspective and climate of the conflict and the people involved. If we find ourselves in a disagreement or heated debate we certainly want to avoid an angry or violent conflict, that’s a no brainer…and yet what this really means is that we really want the conflict to involve a healthy, safe and communication-filled arena where ideas can be shared, contemplated and then ultimately lead to growth. Thus, we want to avoid negative conflict and embrace a positive one. I feel this kind of embracing/avoiding perspective is really two sides of the same coin. It’s just really hard to do.

I think the part where negative avoidance comes into play is when individuals are either ashamed to speak up (don’t feel qualified or don’t know what people will think about them), scared to speak up (usually a hostile atmosphere is responsible for this) or don’t care enough about the topic or team to feel properly motivated (it won’t make a difference, why should I care?).

I suppose, Brian, that it can come down to fight or flight, but instead of positively engaging in a calm and respected “fight” of ideas, we often fly to a safer, less challenging place and escape what we perceive to be as threatening.

And to all of us, Jesus is and can be incredibly threatening when we read His words in regards to how calls us to live–and how we’re doing.

We must learn to see conflict as a catalyst for positive change and not a hinderance to a cohesive team.

Conflict is certainly not strictly a negative thing. In fact, it can be a positive one depending upon the response, communication and efforts to “capitalize” on it. As you very eloquently stated, conflict is inevitable because teams, or even marriages for that matter, are comprised of two or more individuals who are very used to thinking and acting in independent manners but in limited, singular mindsets. So disagreements or “discussions” will arise sooner or later if the individuals actually care about growth or spiritual progression, which is certainly not a bad thing (having two people who don’t care at all is infinitely worse).

The beauty of conflict, if handled in the right manner and communicated efficiently, is that it necessitates change, which invariably leads to growth, be it personal, communal, spiritual, etc.

Plus, it certainly removes any notion of complacency from our ministry or relationships, :).