Developing Leaders: Part 3
When developing leaders, three qualities are absolutely necessary…
1. SECURITY
You as the leader must be secure. In many organizations, the tenured leaders feel threatened by rising leaders. If you are not secure in your calling, anointing, and role, you will NEVER develop great leaders.
My pastor and mentor was never threatened. He always told us that he wanted the next generation to exceed him in effectiveness for the Kingdom. Because of his security, he could celebrate our progress without being threatened.
2. TRUST
If you don’t trust those you are leading, you don’t have anything. If they don’t trust you, your ship is sinking.
People ask if I’m afraid someone on staff will try to undermine my leadership. Or in the multi-site model, people always wonder if I’m afraid a Campus Pastor will try to steal the campus. My answer is a bold… NEVER!
I trust my team. I believe they trust me. Because we trust each other, it empowers me to develop them as leaders and help them to grow. They’re also empowered to make suggestions to make me more effective.
3. HONESTY
When developing leaders, it is way more important to be honest than to be nice. (Being honest doesn’t mean you have to be mean. But you do have to tell the truth.)
When we bring in a staff member from another church, they’re often shocked at how frank our feedback and constructive criticism can be. We have created a culture where prompt and honest feedback is expected.
To develop others, we must be able to say, “You missed it here. This is how you can do better.” And your team needs to be able to say it to you. Without honesty, leaders will never grow.
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“If you don’t trust those you are leading, you don’t have anything. If they don’t trust you, your ship is sinking.”
I believe that if God guided you to serve your congregation, God gives TRUST for both parties.
Blessings,
Zoltan
http://www.RespiroMedia.com
Craig said “Without honesty leaders will never grow”. So true! It seems in ministry we’re so afraid of hurting someone’s feelings, but how will we get better if we don’t see our flaws? Short answer - we won’t. The senior leader has to be able to say “You stink!” And that’s not so hard to accept if you have heard him at some point in time say “I stink!”
Of course, “you stink” may be a little too blunt but on the plus side, it’s never misunderstood.
Trust is huge. It seems like the issues people have with trust are directly tied to their own egos.
All of our staff have given each other permission to make suggestions on everything we do. That has been one of the most important things with our creativity, our outreach, our worship, etc.
I remember what Harry Truman said. Maybe it wasn’t about trust, but I think it’s applicable here. “It’s amazing what a team can accomplish when no one cares who gets the credit.”
Craig,
Don’t you think a few wins under your belt helps win people’s trust? I’m in a different situation, but Funerals have actually helped me connect with some of our leaders. Sounds morbid but when I reached out to our leaders in a crisis they trust me more.
John Maxwell has said numerous times that the most “dangerous” person in the church is an insecure Senior Leader. I think this is the greatest determining factor as to the overall, and longterm health and growth of a church — the “security” of the Senior Leader.
Trust is a huge issue also. I have realized and counseled that Trust along with Loyalty are things that are “earned” and must be nurtured. They should not be “expected.” I’ve known far too many pastors who feel they should be trusted and people/staff should be loyal to them just because of the position they hold.
Trust is like “friendship.” In order to have friends you must be friendly. In order to gain Trust, you must not only be “Trustworty,” but you also must be “Trusting” of others first.
Craig,
Great post, that sums it up. I have seen many church leaders who are insecure. That is always a huge problem. It limits you and those around you.
“… it is way more important to be honest than to be nice.”
Craig,
Can you share how you handled the backlash from a staffer who didn’t necessarily appreciate your honesty? More often than not, I’ve been accused of being mean, when all I was being was honest. Needless to say, it has caused me to become somewhat gunshy or insecure about being honest with someone for whom I am responsible to lead. I don’t want to become paralyzed by hesitation. I would rather be Fearless.
Hey Kyle,
Craig’s swamped today, so I’m helping him respond.
Does anyone have any insight for Kyle?
Thanks,
Sarah
Craig’s Assistant
There is a great method of offering constructive criticism or correction found in the book “The One Minute Manager.” He suggests giving a “correction sandwich.” This is done by beginning with praise for a specific aspect of the person’s charactor and/or performance, then address the issue where change is needed, and then finish with another word of affirmation.
I have utilized this approach in my own staff, and it makes a huge difference.
Secondly, remember that we are not “confronting a person.” We are “addressing an issue.” We must be able to separate a person’s value from his/her performace, and that distinction must be clear in how we communicate with that person.
Third, when you are giving criticism or correction, SMILE! Don’t yell or belittle. Remember that you are on the same team, and let your love for the person be demonstrated in your demeanor.
I hope that helps!
Just a thought… Kyle, Do you allow your staff to be as “honest” with you as you are with them? What is your reaction when they have an issue with you?
I’ve served in situations where as a staff person I better not confront the Senior Pastor with any issue about his leadership, character or problems or be critical in any way (Because he’s “THE PASTOR”). Yet they, being the Senior Leader, could confront anyone with their issues willingly.
Until a staff person knows that you are eager and willing to accept criticism from those you serve with, they are not going to willingly accept your criticism of them.
Kyle,
I certainly don’t have all the answers to being honest with someone regarding performance but I can certainly offer some personal experience and hope that it helps you.
When giving feedback I’ve noticed, especially at writing workshops, conferences or editorial revisions, that most individuals excel at the ‘criticism’ part but leave the ‘constructive’ part rather wanting. This is not unusual since we normally only feel that the inadequate things need to be addressed and not the things that they did right…after all, why talk about what they did that worked, I mean, it worked.
But most individuals need affirmation to a certain extent to hear that though they are making mistakes or that things aren’t working, the effort was appreciated and some things had take-away value. But they also need to hear why the things did not work and what they can tangibly do to change.
So basically, if you can list a couple of things that you did like or at least thought had potential–and then listed the things you did not like (here’s the important part) and WHY you did not like them or HOW they might be altered to better succeed, the individual will almost always be not only open but grateful for the feedback.
I hope this is helpful.
I am in the business world (it is my ministry) and I find the developing leaders post excellent for my thinking. I know for me personally when I have to sit down and discuss a shortcoming or let someone go I find it easier to do when I am dealing with a believer as opposed to a non-believer. Why? With a believer I can lay it on the table and tell them straight up how I feel, even though they answer to me they are working as unto the Lord and not for me, each of us want the employee or staff member to be the best they can be. In the same sense if a change is needed, I am honest and just tell them that it is best that we part ways ( I am sensitive to their needs and try to work with them moving forward). With this being the case it often works out best for both parties in that they find another company or a position that better suits them and their talents, we are better off working to develop the next leader in our organization. Another thing that happens is when we feel good about someone, sense their potential for more responsibility, and desire for them to succeed we may promote them beyond their ability or for that matter beyond their passion and it becomes difficult to take steps backwards. Again, when this occurs it is tough to make the change but it must be done for the betterment of the organization (or the ministry). When a needed change is not made are we allowing this individual to hold someone else back or to interrupt the progress in growing our business (or ministry)? Change is tough but I am confident from experience that each person involved is better for the decision being made promptly and swiftly thus being allowed to move on. Leaders must have the confidence and security in themselves in order to completely develop and gain the trust of those they are leading. Then as a believer we should strive to be honest, I think those under us would expect and ask us to be truthful with them in these situations. Lifechurch’s/Craig’s passion is to develop “fully devoted followers of Christ”, whether in business or in ministry should we not be working towards moving those individuals under us into a greater ministry (even in the business world to greater responsibility) to have a maximum impact on the kingdom. A great story here, in one instance we let an employee go and he found a position that he enjoyed elsewhere that worked better for him. A couple of years later he stopped by to visit and said he was on his way east to see friends and to visit Charles Stanley’s church, Mr. Stanley through his ministry had become like a second father. Wow! He had been born again and was growing in Christ! What a testimony. Would this of happened if we had not made the change? Only the Lord knows but in this case He was glorified. As leaders our responsibility is to then bring someone else up through our organization to replace them that can grow and mature. What a joy to see individuals develop, reach their full potential, and flourish.
Hi Craig and all,
Great post and great responses. I need it.
A few thoughts:
If I feel secure others will be affected by my security. They will become more secure themselves.
If I trust, others will be affected by my trust. They will become more trusting themselves.
If I am honest about my mistakes and weaknesses others will be affected by my trust. They will become more honest about their mistakes. They will either acknowledge them more easily or accept them more easily when they are pointed out to them.
I am a teacher of phonetics and I rememeber that when I started to be honest about MY own pron mistakes or lack of knowledge in front of my students I became more peaceful in class and I found it easier to be honest about THEIR mistakes. They (my students) don’t seem to have big problems with my corrections.
Maybe it works the same (similar) way with being an honest leader. I don’t know. I’m not a leader (maybe in my family) but I’d like to be one.
Craig,
How do you lead from a non-leadership position? I’m 23 years old and a layperson in my church who is frustrated at the lack of creativity in proclaiming the greatest message on earth in our church. How do you overcome the view that many older, more “mature” Christians take of a person my age in order to initiate some progressiveness in the church?
Powerful post. Reading this I am SO very thankful that my pastor is exactly the type of leader you talked about. I constantly feel blessed to have the oppertunity to devolop in such an enviroment. You are tight, had any of those 3 been missing out of this enviroment I cant imagine I would be the person I am today.
Chad, I’ve been stacking my “sandwich” all wrong! I’ve been giving 2 positives and then the constructive critique. I’ll try to stack it your way. Also, I appreciate your thoughts on “the person” vs. “the issue.”
Joe, yes, my staff feels the freedom - and they exercise it quite often!- to confront me on issues they have with me. I appreciate their words and tell them so. I then work very hard to better myself. I, too, have been in a work environment where it was not acceptable to question/critique those above me - VERY frustrating. I don’t want my staff to feel the way I felt then. Thanks for taking the time to respond - I really appreciate it.
J.G., your third paragraph was very helpful and insightful. Thanks!
Steve, thanks for your points and your story.
Kyle,
There has to be trust involved in being the mirror for a constructive confrontation or criticism. That person has to trust you that you have their best in mind, and that God’s kingdom deserves excellence.
Years ago, Josh McDowell said rules without relationship leads to rebellion. That was for parent-child relationships. But it still sticks. Proverbs says it this way: faithful are the wounds of a friend. The trust factor is stronger when a good relationship is developed.
Trust comes on the backside of criticism as well. When you have one of the feedback sessions with someone else, whenever that person makes the course correction, and improvement takes place (and you don’t have to say “I told you so), trust is built. That person then understands that you do indeed have his/her best interest in mind.