I would love your help. You can contact me @ bamabusman@yahoo.com

Thanks!

I am reading “Divine Nobodies” by Jim Palmer. It is an amazing book.

Instead of throwing a quick answer your way, I’ll work on a week of posts defining how to find and grow from a mentor. This is such an important topic. Thanks for asking.

This process is just beginning but it gave me the faith to take my church from a small rented facility to a movie theater to get more seats and involve more people in serving and grow the thing. Also it was at a conference that I heard you speak these words Craig “the thing that is keeping you from where you are to where God wants you to be is the painful decision you refuse to make.”

God had been dealing with me for months about quitting my secular job and going full time in ministry. Those words still haunt me today but after hearing them, and then getting more wisdom from guys like Gary Lamb, and the leaders of my church - and my wife - I stepped away from a job that pays almost 6 figures to pastor my church of 125 people.

I think it was Erwin McManus who said something like he would rather go out with a blaze of glory than just maintain the status quo in his book the barbarian way. God didn’t call me to maintain the status quo at my church. He called me to change the eternal destiny of as many people as I can before I step off this planet. To do that - I have to learn to be a better leader.

One more thing - I also read and network with people who are in similar sizes and situations. If we only look a the maxwell’s, stanley’s and young’s of the church world its easy to get disillusioned when the results are not the same.

Thanks Craig for speaking into my life.

I started asking the “big” ask. Sure I’ve been turned down a lot. But just within the last year I’ve had 2 very successful men help me because I asked. As I mentioned one is paying for me to spend 2 days with him.

I came to the conclusion years ago that I was responsible to grow myself so Bill Hybels, Rick Warren, Andy Stanley and John Maxwell have mentored me through conferences, CD’s and DVD’s.

I always arrived at these meetings prepared. I kept a notebook where I wrote down questions that arose over the course of the month. This way, I didn’t forget any issues that came up, and I honored my mentor’s time.

If we prepare for such encounters and make them as convenient, congenial, and concise as possible, we communicate to our potential mentors that we are serious about wanting to grow and that we place value upon their input.

I also found that because I invested something in the relationship, this pastor made himself accessible to me at other times, as well, when urgent input was needed between meetings. But I was careful to not abuse this privilege, and only called when necessary.

One godly businessman that I approached in this manner lived in another city, but responded to my initiative by committing to mentor me for almost two years. I grew and benefitted from this relationship in ways that I am just now beginning to realize.

I think that these are relationships that have to be developed not recruited. If I call up John Maxwell (yes, Brandon, I do know who he is) and say, “Hey, John, can you mentor me?”, it probably won’t work. But if there is a man in my network of relational ministry that I admire, then there is an opportunity to develop a strong learning relationship. It would seem to me that he would be more willing to share his life, his ministry or maybe even how to play a bar chord.

Anyway, that’s just one opinion. Good luck, guys.

It seems this is a common struggle. Can some of you who have great mentors offer advice to those who are struggling finding one?

The Difficulty I have in finding trusted mentors to listen to is what questions do I ask them. How do I get them started on their life experiences, failures and success stories. The bible says that “Counsel in the heart of man is as deep waters, but a man of understanding will draw it up”. Maybe you have some suggestions for drawing that counsel out of possible mentors. Thanks!

I think one thing that helps me grow is to step out and step up. Do something I have never done before. You will pray and prepare like never before. I think to many leaders lead from comfort and fail to rely on God as much as they should.

When I started as a children’s pastor 10 years ago. I desperately needed a mentor and could not find one. I read books like crazy. I know read books and blogs like crazy. I think reading is one the the most essential growth tools for any leader.

I completely agree with the “comfort zones” mindset you set forth here. Some of the most influential leaders or ideas that have helped shape me are ones that I have not agreed with at all. But because of this, I have had to really address what it is I believe, what areas of ministry I truly value, what about this person has made them influential and if I have become stagnant in thought or action.

I believe this concept of escaping comfortability for situations ripe with conflict and change is essential to the process of discipleship itself, which is, of course, leader based in function.

I also can personally attest to messing up being the means to growth, as a disciple and leader. If you never attempt something that is creative or risky, then can you really say that you’re doing all you can to lead or help others grow? Playing it safe is, intellectually speaking, self-centered and even selfish.

Failure necessitates change which therein perpetuates growth. After all, what are we really afraid of? Seriously.

So go and try something you’ve dreamt and stayed awake at night thinking about…the worst that can happen is you’ll mess up, learn and grow because of it. The best thing that can happen…it might open up more eyes than just your own.

It’s a little outside my usual canon.

I’ve realized that growth doesn’t happen because of many of the reasons I think it does.

Economic growth occurs most when someone spends time learning about the reasons why it isn’t growing. When you invest time into learning the region, climate, history, politics, geography, relationships, and real resources of an economy, you have greater ability to speak into it and show real people why things aren’t working…

It’s the same with people. The more time you spend learning about their individual situation, history, skills, strengths, weaknesses, passions….well the more fuel you have to help them grow….

I think the challenge for us is to be the opposite of that. Be the superior leader who enables those serving under us to flourish and give our ministry lofty goals to strive toward.

What has been most helpful to me is the idea of staying on point. Be intentional with your time. If you are a good planner or organizer, spend the bulk of your time doing that. Stanley warns against being the leader who has to have a hand in everything. People, including me, have a nasty habit of attempting to do things we have no business doing, we call it “leading”. Delegation is also leading. I am good at children’s ministry, I would be a fool to convince myself that I am an accomplished speaker at this time.

I’m glad you are so persistent. God will honor that. I pray when you successfully transition your church (which is much harder than starting a new one) that you’ll be able to mentor a ton of other leaders.

Bryan,

Great thought. Thanks.

What about the rest of you? Help us grow? What are you reading? Who are you studying? What is God showing you? What are your theories?

P.S. Who is this Maxwell you talk about? Not bad stuff. Maybe he should write a book or something.