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It Shouldn’t Matter, But… (Part 2)
I talked about this once at a pastor’s conference and about got stoned (and I’m not talking about smoking pot).
In ministry, it shouldn’t matter how we dress, but sometimes it does.
Unfortunately, many of us make quick judgments about people by the way they look. (God doesn’t, but people do.)
Think of it this way:
- If you’re a skeptical 22 year old, would you listen to someone who seems to understand culture or someone who is totally clueless?
- If you’re a successful business person, are you more likely to respect a sharp dressed person or a slob?
- If you’re a drunk teenager who stumbles on a Christian television program, do you think you’ll be be drawn to a slick, pimp-looking televangelist offering you a free prayer handkerchief if you’re one of 77 people who will sow a $77 seed on your credit card?
As pastors, our goal is never to be “cool.” But we can discredit ourselves with some people before we even start talking simply by the way we look. Or we can gain some credibility when someone thinks, “Well at least he/she looks normal.”
What do you think?
Visit 
Before my recent job change I spent the last 15 years working with stagehands, teamsters and technicians, many of whom match your third description to a tee. I considered it my missions field and I learned more about how those people view the church (ANY church). What I found was that it did not matter much what you wore. They often had respect for people dressed in “Business Casual” more than anyone else, including those dressed like themselves.
Thei culture is turned off very quickly by anyone that exhibits what they consider to be cheesey or overly religious. What they want to see is a true heart, good and bad. When they can see your flaws and that you are not trying to explain them away, they are attracted to your truthfulness. They already know your not perfect, so letting them see that you are aware of your own imperfection draws them to want to know more. Displaying that flawed front to them lets them want to know more about why you have such a strong faith in God.
Most people don’t understand what they consider to be their own faith, so finding someone who does, but is not trying to ram a religion down their throat, opens the door for them to ask the questions that they have always wanted to ask, but never had the open door to do so. Many of them did not jump in to give their lives to Christ, but they opened the door to planting the seeds that God will grow over time. When you encounter someone who is seeking, you know it! Meeting them at their level opens the door that you are looking for to share the gospel with them.
Truthfulness about yourself and your own shortcomings means more to most people than what you are wearing, but they do have limits. They won’t approach the guy in the slick suit, but they will ask questions from the guy who carries his bag that shows the same heart towards God.
I once participated in a test to see how much of an effective listener I was. I was terrible. I failed 15 out of the 16 checks. The only one I passed was the question that asked “Do you find yourself assessing what the person is wearing before you start listening to them?” I am oblivious to fashion so yes, I passed this one.
But as oblivious as I am to fashion, most people aren’t. So I go to special effort to make sure that what I wear when I speak will not take away from the message. I don’t want them criticizing my dress-sense in their mind while I’m trying to share the gospel with them.
Paul said that was prepared to use ‘all possible means’. This includes leveraging fashion.
I think sadly some of that is true. If you walk into a church broken and see the pastor in a suite it gives the impression that you must clean up before you enter Gods house, if the pastor is wearing jeans or casual attire is give a feeling of approachability not only to the church but more importantly to God.
When I was in Bible College, everybody dressed up. It seemed to be a contest to see who had the coolest tie, and sharpest suite. It was also our dress code. The reality is, we were the exception and not the rule when it comes to college kids, the last thing the average 21 year old wants to do is put on a tie.
Take into consideration young families, your running around on a Sunday the morning trying to get everyone ready, you have a the baby in your arms and splat, baby goo all over your suite. Its much easier to wash a T-shirt, than send a suite to the cleaners. Its even better to know that when you get to church you wont feel odd that you are the only one in a T-shirt.
Just to play the other side of this conversation and to stimulate better understanding of this topic, how do you factor in the picture Isaiah paints Jesus into this equation?
He grew up before him like a tender shoot, and like a root out of dry ground. He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.
He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
Isaiah 53:2-3
This passage in Isaiah paints a very different picture of Jesus than what I grew up with. We could conclude that Jesus
was not the blond hair blue eyed Swede that the most Americans see him as. Jesus did not provide a clean appearance to draw people to Himself. So it begs the question, if appearance does not matter to Jesus, should it matter to the Church?
I think that every speaker/pastor has a style when he/she speaks. The style of the individual is the personality that cannot help but come out during a message. I think that one’s attire should compliment their style. The two should not be in conflict with one another.
Again for me it all goes to culture, and especially for Pastors understanding the culture you are in outside of the 4 walls of your church. That means we can’t copy the cool, hip, indy-rock style church in Seattle when you are in the middle of farmland Kansas. By the same token I am not going to copy the style and flavor of a bible-belt, small community church from Arkansas and copy and try to emulate it in the city of Miami.
Are any of those wrong expressions? No, as long as they are being faithful to their culture and community. The problem becomes when a church treats style as if it were a non-negotiable doctrine. Times change quite rapidly and as the culture shifts we in the church must change our style without letting that bleed over into our message.
What that practically means for us is culture shifts typically move from the coasts inward. So while much of the more “traditional” style of services are effective in the inner parts of our country, it is only a matter of time before the church will need to change to reflect the style; not ahead of the curve, but with it.
I think it is important for pastors to look sharp…
Jeans can be sharp.
But so can a tie…
I give props to pastors who aren’t afraid to look sharp in thier own age-group and style. Sometimes it bothers me when old guys are wearing clothes like they’re 20. But if they feel like that’s really who they are, then I’m all for it!
Just be your best self. That’s great!
Amber and Nate,
I like both your thoughts. I love the idea, “Be your best self” and “ones attire should compliment style.”
I’ve seen Craig preach for about 9 years now in his typical casual attire & I think I’ve been warped.
Our lifegroup started a DVD study a few weeks ago. The first thing I saw was a pastor dressed in a suit & tie and I commented “Oh great. A suit & tie. Somebody wake me up when it’s over.” The study has actually been quite good, but those were my honest first thoughts.
On the other hand, I remember the first time my parents (typical southern baptists) came to church with us and they commented on the fact that Craig was preaching in jeans. (I guess that falls in line with dancing amoung baptists.) They got past it and really enjoy coming to church with us now, but their was an initial judgment. So I would say dress to your crowd. However I think the crowds that need to be reached typically won’t appreciate a suit and tie.
I’ll leave you with this:
In a movie that was recently released, a guy goes in for a job interview not exactly dressed the part of an interviewee. The interviewer asked him, “What would you say if a guy walked in for an interview without a shirt on, and I hired him? What would you say?”
He replied, “He must have had on some really nice pants”.
Craig,
I think you are absolutely right. It goes back to “missional” methodology. Obviously, if I gelled my hair and wore Diesel jeans and went to plant a church in Zambia the fact that I looked “trendy” wouldn’t matter. As one who has lived in both the South (South Carolina) the new South (Raleigh/Durham) and Texas (Dallas/Ft. Worth) there is a definite difference in those three locations and how people dress and what is considered ‘normal.’ I wore a searsucker suit on Easter to a church in Ft.Worth in 2003 and was laughed at. In SC, that would have been considered, and still is, normal. However, when I tried to gell may hair here they called me Dracula. So, it’s good that we don’t copy fashion since its so different in different parts of the country - let alone the world.
Sunday I preached in jeans and a nice shirt. I received a lot of complements from my young adults. I might try it again soon may be on Easter. I think people some relate to me better however, I have some who would much rather see me in a suit and tie.
O well!
PL
Great series of posts Craig.
I really liked Nate’s comment that the dress of a pastor should compliment who he is. I would then venture to guess that a majority of the people who attend his church will be people with a similar style. Which kind of goes back to what Robert was saying.
A pastor should be true to who they are (thank you Amy), and then they should go after those people whom they are best suited, pardon the pun, to reach.
I would be even more interested to hear the opinions of people outside the church on this question…
Craig,
Out of curiosity, how many successful business people do you know call LifeChuch home???
I’m just curious cuz I know you don’t wear a suit and tie every week.
LOL.
A planting coach one time told me to “dress one notch above your crowd”. He criticized me for wearing jeans and shirts that were untucked. Said I should wear business casual based on my crowd - Khaki’s and a polo shirt to be exact. I tool his advice literally. Did it help? I have no clue. We didnt reach people because of that and no one said - Hey you seem like the pastor because you wear polo shirts.
I repented from this sin of trying to please people and doing gimmicky things and started being me. I like jeans. I wear them to work. I wear them to shop. I wear them when I go out with my wife. I was trying to be someone I wasn’t at church to impress people. I wasn’t impressing God.
Now - I don’t wear the same jeans to church that I mow grass in for obvious reasons. And I do pay attention to my wardrobe and try to have on nice jeans and nice shirts (untucked when appropriate). I don’t want to be a slob. But I dont want to be someone Im not. I just want to be me - authentic, and real.
I know a pastor that preaches in flip flops and is reaching tons of people. He’s just being himself.
I don’t know if I would absolutely agree that image/appearance is everything. My pastor has a big nose (by his own admission) and I’ve never paid much attention to it either way.
The X-factor in this whole line of thought is the power of the Holy Spirit grabbing someone’s attention irregardless of what a pastor is/isn’t wearing. John the Baptist wore camel skins and ate locusts - and I would jump at the chance to go back in time and follow him around for a day. So for me, appearance is only a very small part of influence (if any at all). We can not improve the Holy Spirit’s power of influence by what we wear.
I think there are so many important things to be concerned about that clothing style is not critical. Be who you are as far as style is concerned. I will admit that I am very amazed at the lack of modesty I see from people who in other aspects would be considered spiritually mature. I serve in a large Christian organization and there is a significant amount of cleavage on display. Guys struggle with their thought life enough without having a jug fest.
Kyle,
I didn’t say image/appearance is everything. It is not and never will be. But for some people, it matters. It is one of many details (including much more important things like prayer and the Holy Spirit) that I think about when trying to do anything and everything to reach people for Christ.
BTW, I resemble that big nose remark!
Don’t you all remember the Disciples and Jesus Himself dressing up went they went out to preach, oh wait a minute, they didn’t! LOL. Seriously, if you look like your average Joe then you can still dress nice, dress up, or dress down and if the Holy Spirit is with you then you will get the message across. But dressing like a ‘pimp’ or Wayne Newton…you’re probably not going to be reaching to many lost souls that way.
DANG IT…no more speedo’s while preaching..>!!!!
Thanks alot
it absolutely does matter how you present yourself. its funny craig that you would be almost stoned for such a common sense idea. btw, i shop at target for my clothes and i look dang good. its not what you got, its what you can do with it
Isn’t it redundant to say “Dressing like a pimp or Wayne Newton”? I believe Craig should wear a coat of many colors and a big pimp hat like Kramer did on Seinfeld.
Danke Schoen
[...] In the second post he addresses the issue of dress—whether a pastor dresses cool, professional, like a slob, or like a pimp. As pastors, our goal is never to be “cool.â€? But we can discredit ourselves with some people before we even start talking simply by the way we look. Or we can gain some credibility when someone thinks, “Well at least he/she looks normal.” [...]
I think it’s funny that our desire for meeting our culture in the USA is scrutinized. It’s pretty acceptable that when a missionary goes to any other culture they dress like them, learn their language, eat their food, sing their songs, dance their dances, and participate in everything that they do, short of sinning, in an effort to reach them for Jesus.
For some reason in the USA we think that because I live in the same state or town as the other guy that we’re the same. That couldn’t be further from the truth! We’re different. Jesus alludes to this paradox in his prayer in the garden. To be in the world but not of it. We’ve got to start approaching our culture the same way a missionary approaches theirs.
I was shocked the first time I saw a video of Craig G wearing a suit. It just struck me as out of place.
Kinda like a story I heard about a pastor in the middle of farmland. It’s my understanding that he probably preached in his overalls, because He was one of them. He didn’t set himself apart by wearing a suit and tie. Which makes sense to me. If a person feels like their pastor is one of them they’re more likely to listen to what he has to say and open their minds toward God.
I often have the opportunity to speak at chapel services held during secular events. I recently taught at a car show while wearing my favorite Valvoline T-shirt. Afterwards one of the guys at the service came up and commented how much better he could relate to a guy who dressed more like he did. Contrast this to another show I attended where the “preacher” was shouting on the side of the street in his 3 piece suit and everyone just ignored him and passed on by.
Gotta say… I’m grateful you and Bobby are blogging. And, I gotta say… I appreciate your innovative ministry. And, your humble leadership. Great work, men. I’m proud of you and I look up to you. Few bloggers catch my attention these days and you are one of them.
I had an interesting experience teaching English as a Second Language in a large church. The students from Asia, Africa and South America were so confused by the “trendy slob” look of the people attending church. They perceived it as disrespectful. They mostly had much less money than we did, but they always wore their best clothes when they went to church.
In one sermon, the youth pastor (who was wearing a tee shirt and jeans) said he “distrusted pastors in suits” and that “God looks at the heart”. My students were not impressed. I think they saw through the whole “I’m holy because I’m a slob” routine that is now so popular in the American church.
I thought about this a lot. It really seems now that we have moved into a reverse snobbery, where only people who dress like adolescents (even if they are 50) are perceived as Godly - even when they drive SUVs nad make large salaries, and mature men and women who dress well are ridiculed.
The students were disappointed and surprised. I felt somehwat ashamed for the pastors and the rest of us.